Hi - just wondering if people can share with me their top tips for managing their helpers, given cultural differences that exist and the fact that we all have to live together. For example, how friendly should we be? Are 'to-do' lists the way forward? Should you always get a safe in the house? How much flexibility should we give them? Should you correct even the smallest things when they happen? What are the top tricks that work for you?
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hi - thanks for that. I have just ordered that book. You've basically described how I am doing it already with my very experienced helper - so thanks for confirmation. I will see if there are any other tips in the book... I am also interested in the pros and cons of being super-strict. I would never do this, but I just wonder about the merits of it. For example, many people talk about how Chinese employers are much more controlling over thier helpers and it made me think that maybe I was being a pushover. I def don't feel the need to change my ways, but I was a bit concerned that I was being taken advantage off. Clearly it's what works for you.
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hi - thanks for that. I have just ordered that book. You've basically described how I am doing it already with my very experienced helper - so thanks for confirmation. I will see if there are any other tips in the book... I am also interested in the pros and cons of being super-strict. I would never do this, but I just wonder about the merits of it. For example, many people talk about how Chinese employers are much more controlling over thier helpers and it made me think that maybe I was being a pushover. I def don't feel the need to change my ways, but I was a bit concerned that I was being taken advantage off. Clearly it's what works for you.
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Hi there ... after several years of helpers both in the Philippines and here in HK, the most important thing to remember (IMHO) is to start your working relationship as you mean to continue. It's very hard to back-track once you've established a certain tone. Personally, what works for us is quite a relaxed atmosphere which I do regret occasionally. Sometimes it's a little too relaxed! But, ultimately it does work. I think the book mentioned above is excellent and upon moving here, asked our helper to read it (we brought her from the Philippines with us) so that she knew what to expect if she wanted to stay here when we are posted elsewhere. My prime concern is childcare (3, 3 & under) so having a showcase house just isn't possible ... which I've communicated to her. What I have done is broken down the housework (her duties) into a list of things that need to be done on a daily/weekly basis and I do the shopping, cooking & my husband's & my laundry. This more or less works for us. In this way, it's clear what is expected of her and I don't need to stay on top of things. But, we've worked together a few years now so we're quite comfortable working together. Helpers are wonderful but there are pros & cons. Good luck.
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I agree with Saikunga. When I was new at this I used to get frustrated when my DH wasn't doing something that I assumed was understood. ALWAYS explain exactly how you want something done in a clear calm manner and invited their questions to make sure they understand. Sometimes my first explanations {especially with shopping and cooking issues) were not clear and my helper (who is a treasure) was confused but didn't want to look stupid by asking a bunch of questions. Now she knows to ask away and we are both happier.
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This is helpful - thank you. This is another rather bizarre question, but do you check the change after a big shop? I always give my very trusted helper say $1500 for a shop and the remainder she keeps in the kitty that she uses for the kids. Is this too much leeway? in the Uk I had the same situation and then I caught the person stealing money off me.... just wondering if I'm too trusting/asking for trouble?
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Start off always asking for receipts and make a point of checking them. You'll probably find from then on any expense will be justified -- whether you want it to be or not. At that point, it's probably safe to start a kitty in the kitchen (or somewhere quite visable) where spare change can be put/kept. It adds up quickly. Any change from the shopping, along with the receipt, can be left there. If you notice the kitty getting too large, clear it out. Don't provide the temptation to steal.
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Thanks - will implement these changes without trying to appear suspicious. thanks again
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crj
18 yrs ago
We use a diary and have the helper write down the expenses on each day, as well as save receipts. It works really well. In addition, she keeps a subtotal running on the top of the page, so we can easily see how much is left.
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I give helper 500 a week at beginning of week for fruit and veg in Wanchai and incidentals (I do a couple of shops a week) and if she needs more give that to her having looked at the book with receipts, running total etc. I buy my meat and fish online and milk is delivered. also give helper an octupus card. This seems to work well
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