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I feel bad to fire my helper

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ORIGINAL POST
Posted by abby78 18 yrs ago
We just hired an Indonesian helper, before she worked for chinese family but she didnt finish her contract, she worked there for 21 months.
 
During the interview she seems very nice person, she can speak english (during the interview) and when we called the former employer they told me that she is nice and good with kids. But my problem started 1 week after she is here....
 
I known that she can only speak the common english words which they ask for interview, and she can't write the english word correctly.
 
Anyway I tried to talk to her many times( as in many times) and I gave her a book for english grammar to read and learn, because I want her to stay working with us (And we are english speaking family ).
 
But then again, when I interviewed her I asked her what she does on her day off(normally) because I know a lot of indonesians go to disco, but she said she never go to disco and she doesn't even know where are the bars and discos in wanchai, and 3 weeks after she working with us, I known that she have a BF here a white guy, and then I was so surprised how can they meet if she was working for 6 days a week, and then she told me that she met him in Neptune in wanchai 4 months ago!..
 
And then well we became supportive to her, we said we don't mind her having a BF as long as she will do her job properly, and she promised us that.
 
But lately she been doing bad with her performance, she always forget everything I say, and I have known that everytime she goes down at night after her work ( we allow her to go out after she work at night for an hour) she goes to her BF house which is not so far from us, how about if she get pregnant?
 
My main concern now is that she is only with us for almost 3 months, we want to fire her, but some of my friends say talk to her again! but how can I talk to her about her BF its her personal life.


I am hoping I can get some pieces of advice here, I know a lot of you deal with many kinds of helpers.....and knowing that this is my second helper, we fired the first one because she started to answer back, and my husband was not happy about it.

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COMMENTS
Peechu 18 yrs ago
Hi Abby78...i can see why it can be awkward to talk to your helper especially that it is really hers to decide whether to have a boyfriend or not. (And however way she met her BF is none of our business) But as an employer, you should also protect your interest in this matter.
 
As you mentioned, you're afraid she might get pregnant which is a real possibility. And since it is illegal to terminate a contract when the DH is pregnant, I suggest you talk to your helper again and let her know your precadiment while you are not yet in that situation. You should give her a clear picture of your expectations especially on her performance at work.
 
 
Tell her it's not your business what she does with her personal life as long as it does not affect her job. Remind her that she signed a contract with you and while you do your part as an employer, you expect her to do hers of course. But if her lax behavior at work continues after having informed her of what bothers you and it doesn't give you peace of mind, I don't think it's worth keeping your helper.
 

Good luck!

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abby78 18 yrs ago
Peechu, I agree for what you said,the reason why I ask her before about what she does during her day off is because I want to understand more about her....but knowing that she lied to me I let it pass away. But as you said it bothers me when she get pregnant becuase I known from labour dept that its illegal to fire a helper. And I have to grant her paid maternity leave which is a bit unfair for me becuase we hired a single person. And talking about her having a BF, I am sure she want to get pregnant to hook the man to marry her (whatever it is) then all the problems goes to me in the future, I work part time.....so if she suddenly have to go away I can't go to work at all.


But there is a feeling deep inside me that I feel so bad to fire her for such a short time working with us. Normally how many months you give to your helper, you know as a probation period?

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wenliwenli 18 yrs ago
yes, fire her.

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abby78 18 yrs ago
Thank You guys for your reply. But I have been thinking a lot...why its too hard to find a nice helper, me and my husband is so sad that we can't find a helper that can work for us for long time.


Those who have been in the same situation,, how did you find a good helper? Now some of my friends advice me to get a new from Philippines, which is the only country we can since we can only speak english at home.

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Peechu 18 yrs ago
abby78, eventually you will find one that will suite your liking. If you are willing to wait, then getting a new comer from the Philippines like you said might just work for you. Maybe you should try somebody a little bit older like in their 30's this time? I'm not saying younger helpers are not good because there are some excellent one's out there.

I know someone who was in the same situation as you and after many interviews, 2 terminated contracts (1 she fired, 1 broke the contract) she hired this nice lady in her 30's, single and had been in HK for more than a decade working for the same family. Now, she's about to sign her 5th contract with them.

It was a difficult ordeal for them to find a good helper especially that the couple were both working with a newborn at that time. Now, that kid is turning 9 and was helped raised by their very nice and responsible helper.

So don't lose hope Abby78. You seem to have been very considerate and lenient with your helper despite what she did to you. If she can't appreciate that, someone out there will surely appreciate finding an employer like you.




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miming 18 yrs ago
Yes I agree with Peechu,older ( 30's - 40's )ladies are more responsible than the young ones.

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ldavy 18 yrs ago
abby78, if your main concern is that your helper might get pregnant then I think you need to hire one who is past child-bearing age, or a man! If you hire a single woman she can get pregnant, and if you hire a married one she can get pregnant too. Women in their 30s and 40s can also have babies.

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abby78 18 yrs ago
Idavy, I know what you mean, but as I told earlier, its so unfair for us that we have to pay maternity leave since we hired a single person,its not in our expectation, unless she got married while working for us, then we understand. Anyway I am trying to look now for someone on her 40's, who have a motherly instinct. Definitely not a boy, I dont think I feel comfortable with that.


Now, we are thinking how to fire her, do we have to give her one month notice, or just fire her and leave same time. My hubby is concern what she gonna do while she is at home during her one month notice.....you know we can't help to worry with our stuffs.

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aqua_swee 18 yrs ago
Abby78, be kind to yourself. Fire her! You're keeping a time bomb at home with you. Anytime she gets pregnant, you not only have to pay for her maternity, you will eventually have to get another helper isn't it? Why not now?! The fact that your DH has a boyfriend now, perhaps tell you that she is not in it for the long term? It's painful to fire.... but just shut out the feelings and make the hard decision. I fired my first and am so thankful for my second one now. You can do it! And if you set your mind into doing it, pay her one month to leave your home immediately. Give her the notice and perhaps a couple of hours to pack. And then send her off. Don't feel bad about it. We need to be kind to people who deserves our kindness but not to those who exploit it Good luck!

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Sweettess 18 yrs ago
I feel your pain. I agree that letting her go is the best for your family.

BTW I know of a great Philipina who is above reproach. Intereated? Larry

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