Hi everybody,
our new DH has worked for a chinese family before. In order to make her start as easy as possible, what do you think is the biggest difference btw. western and chinese employers, e.g. more focus on child care of either one side, more focused on cleaning, totally different approach of the helper-employer relation? I just want to get an idea what difficulties to expact for us and for her. Maybe especially DH's can share their thoughts/experiences or whoever has an idea/story to share...
Thanks!
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As a Chinese employer of DHs for many years, I would like to step in before this degenerates into a racist exercise in 'list the Chinese bad points'.
I fully agree that there are Chinese employers out there that may treat their DH badly, but I personally know of, Western employers who treat their DHs in my eyes, equally badly. Cultural differences aside, I know of no reason where a DH will have any more worse or positive experience under a Chinese family. My own DH is without doubt, one of the family. She looks after my little one, when I am at work, has free access to all amenities in the house and does a fine job, for which she is very fairly paid.
I never have breakfast at home, I find ironing bed-sheets a waste of electricity, I hate the smell of bleach and I find ‘potato’ an impolite term, which I know to mean old-fashioned and not that smart.
I am concerned at where this thread is going and why.
In my view, the main difference is cooking. I cannot think of anything else. Oh yes, we also speak Chinese quite a lot at home too, and TVB Jade is on more than Pearl. Anything else is pushing it.
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When I studied in the UK, I once had a boy come up to me in the playground who asked me, "Do all Chinese have flat noses?", because as a boy, I had a flat nose.
I was speechless then, I am speechless now.
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Whats the point????? for this flat noses.Maybe the boy was just curious.
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mrsl
18 yrs ago
We've had 2 helpers, both of whom had worked for both Western and Chinese employers. Our first told tales of woe about how they (the Chinese employers) yelled at her etc. I was appalled. After a few weeks, I understood were they were coming from (although I would never yell at another adult, I understood their frustration).
Our second helper had nothing but good things to say about her Chinese employers. We have lots of good things to say about her too. Think it comes down to both employer and employee.
Incidentally, I always like my sheets to be ironed, and I'm western. I love going to bed the day that the freshly ironed sheets have been put on the bed!
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miming,
"What's the point?" ... my sentiments entirely.
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I do understand Green, and I was merely worried that people would make generalisations that would leave people with a negative view of the Chinese. Unfortunately, many people will recount the bad experiences from their last job more vividly than the good. As a Chinese boy in a part of England where there were very few Chinese at that time, I can tell you there were a number of encounters with 'local youths' that stand out in my memory. I would be kidding you if I tell you, they were all good.
Having left England, what I can tell you is that I know the British people are generally warm, and friendly people, more open to express themselves to others, moreso than the Chinese. These merely reflect the cultural differences.
You could not say for instance that for a city of over 6 million, that you were more likely to be a victim of crime in Hong Kong than in New York or London. That much I know would definitely not be true.
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Thanks for your answers and thoughts. I didn't want to offend anybody and I am absolutly aware of the fact that every family, no matter if Chinese or Western is different!
mman74: I really didn't want to do an racist exercise in 'list the Chinese bad points', sorry if you have that impression!
I'm just trying to understand in which way we might treat her different and maybe rule out misunderstandings from the beginning (and only, because I know that the our family as a fact will be different from the one she used to work for, which doesn't mean better or worse, just different).
Hope I didn't cause any misunderstanding!!!
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I've got more than 14 years working experience ( 8 with current) and would love to share a lot of both funny and contemplative " differences" ( but that has to wait as it's late-!)
Here's my bottom line though'
The difference is based in part of the culture and lifestyle. But it's that little extra that will make/create a lasting and more profound effect. In my case that extra comes from the kindness, thoughtfulness and just being a wonderful person from my boss. Her genuine interest to how we are and our families, our friends and the like. In return, we just don't do what are expected from us as helpers but we do it with extra care and always find ways and intiate improvement as and when necessary. Recently I turned down a 12k plus 15th months bonus job offer ( in the same house manageral capacity) not because it means more travel than we already do but because employer like my boss is one of a kind.
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I have bad and good experience more worst asian employer, im working before as DH also 16 yrs.. so tight for holiday and hrs... employee need a little bit freedom... more indian and chinese i dont thinks so!!!! some of them as long the clo'ck are running none stop! you wait till they are go to bed and u can rest!
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