DH's Husband wants to Visit

When I offered our DH the opportunity to travel home for a few weeks this summer while we are home in the UK (at my expense; additionally I will continue to pay her normal salary), she countered with a request that we allow her husband to come to HK to visit her at our flat (presumably at my expense).


Before you respond, I know that I am not obligated to fly her home for a summer holiday (she's only been with us for 2 months). Can anyone advise on whether this is a normal request? I'm new to the HK scene and want to be reasonable.

She may have asked because trips home often involve friends and relatives in the Phils coming out of the woodwork asking for money. Our helper has asked for loans every time that she has gone home. My husband and I have therefore discussed inviting her husband and children over instead. To be honest though, we decided against because we are uncomfortable having people that we do not know staying in our house. Before I get attacked on this, it is not a racist thing or anything like it. I have had the same problem with the concept of having tenants in our house at home. I have had to come to terms with that, mostly because the income goes a long way towards paying our rent here and also because our personal things are not there. I still don't like it though.


It's not a 'normal request' as such. One friend's helper's husband did come over, but at his own expense and they spent most of the time staying elsewhere because when he did stay with them, the flat felt too cramped apparently (but the family was also there at the time).


It really comes down to what you're comfortable with. I cannot imagine that she would be surprised or upset if you said 'no' though.

If it were me I'd prefer to have her return home - or at the very least for them to stay in a boarding house. I wouldn't feel comfortable with a stranger staying in my home when I wasn't here.

can u imagine that if they are doing 'things' on ur bed?

Yes, agree with you Cara. I wouldn't have a problem with family members coming for a visit if we were at home.