Posted by
lss825
17 yrs ago
I am presently staying in a friend's house whose helper cooks the meal and then disappears while the family sits down to eat. Is this the norm or do most people have their helper sit at the table with them?
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cd
17 yrs ago
Ours have never eaten with us, and I wouldn't let it ever happen. Nobody I know have helpers that eat with them either.
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HK01
17 yrs ago
CD, why would you not "allow" your helper to eat with you? Why would you never let it happen??
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Nuri
17 yrs ago
Our also doesn't eat with us. The reason is: we seldom have "formal" dinners at the dining table, rather at a small table b/c our family is small. There is simply no space for her. Also b/c we don't have food at a certain time. Why should she wait for us? She has her food at her own convenience.
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smsm
17 yrs ago
We have 2 helpers and they can eat whatever we are eating...but they are not comfortable eating with us...they eat sitting in the kitchen..they find it more comfortable as they can eat at their own pace..
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There's no right or wrong here, as is typical with these DH questions. Our helper does not eat with my husband and I because we eat late (9-10pm) and cook for ourselves. I guess she can either eat with the children (who she does cook for) or on her own in her room, it's up to her. It's her time to relax, as it is ours. Even if we ate earlier, this is family time for me.
Though she is treated very fairly (well treated, respected and well paid etc) as an employee, IMHO I don't feel I need to socialize or treat her as part of the family when it comes to stuff like this.
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Our helpers eat either EARLIER with our kids, or later (after us) because most of the time we are eating, and she would be washing the pots and pans, and heating up the soup for us... then after we leave the table, they eat at the table at their leisure while we watch TV and play with our kids.....
but my previous helper used to PREFER to eat in the kitchen with her own table and chair. Honestly, it's their privacy, and meal time... I think most of them are more comfortable that way.
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I don't expect to eat meals with MY employer unless we are having a working lunch. We have 2 helpers and they have a sitting room with a small table and they eat there or wherever they want, but for the very few hours and my husband an I have together at the end of the day, we wish to eat by ourselves.
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cd
17 yrs ago
To HK01,
Because our helper is an employee not a member of my family. Mealtimes are family times, we nearly always sit down and eat together, to chat and talk about things. We wouldn't be able to chat about family stuff if our helper was sitting there. Our helper is not the greatest in the world, but the one plus he does have is that he's very unobtrusive, which I like.
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