Posted by
UHHA_64
17 yrs ago
Dear All,
Desperately need your advice!
We are just back from our home leave and in the middle of unpacking our DH asked me if she could borrow 8000 HKD to cover hospital bill for her daughter. Her request caught me totally unprepared. The girl underwent urgent appendicitis operation last week in Philippines and is now resting at home. Our DH says she used all her savings (10000 HKD) for deposit for the hospital and till the 1st of August she needs to pay the rest to the hospital. From her monthly salary (standard DH salary in HK) she sends each month 2400 HKD as allowance for her sister who is taking care of her 3 children (school expenses etc). Therefore it will take her about 10 month to return the debt to the hospital as she cannot stop sending money to her children and she doesn't think the hospital will agree to divide it into 10 payments. She says that her other option is take a loan from a bank which will take her passport ( I know its illegal) and for a 8000 HKD she will need to return 10000 HKD
She is working with us for 9 month and always proved herself as hardworking and honest. My heart with her as I understand how much she worries for her daughter. On the other hand, after reading this forum, I promised myself not to borrow money to DH and told her about it when we signed the employment agreement. If I will not help her out I'm afraid our relationship will deteriorate and she might get revenge even subconsciously on out baby daughter. If I will I'm afraid she might ask to borrow money again and again it will deteriorate out working relationship.
Sorry for the long explanation. Any ideas, suggestions, advices? What would you do in my place?
Thanks a lot !
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I would be very careful as we have had one helper who's father, daughter, son and husband (twice) all had hospital stays etc. the other point we found out was that the costs were so high because the helper had arranged not for top notch private care ie. private single room, private doctors etc. when she could have spent a bit more wisely.
You could ask for a copy of the hospital invoice if it makes you feel more comfortable.
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Didn't think to ask for the invoice. Thanks. She said she did it privately as the care in government hospitals is not good and not urgent. Thanks again.
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KT101
17 yrs ago
My sister just had a major operation (removed the left ovary) and we only spent more that 30K pesos in a private hospital. we live in the city.
my daughter had an eye operation (used to be crossed eye/both eyes) and the operation was done in one of the famous private hospital in manila (St. Luke Hospital and it cost us less than 80K pesos
removing the appendix will only cost more or less 30K in a private hospital outside manila like provinces.
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KT101
17 yrs ago
BTW, can you ask her which hospital and what province..
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It's Mission Group Hospital in Davao. She says the operation costs 45K PHP not including the medicine. KT_101, do you think 45K is unreasonable? I'm beginning to get suspicious as she said that she needs to pay 18K HKD (together with the deposit) while converting 45K PHP is only about 8K HKD... When asking her about the hospital she said that now she needs much less as her sister borrowed 4K from someone ... Very sad ...Thanks KT_101!
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I would still insist on seeing the bill from he hospital and inform her your going to contact them to get the total amount before you make a decision and see if her story changes.
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KT101
17 yrs ago
UHHA_64
Medical Mission Group Hospital is an average private hospital very affordable, i spoke to a friend in Davao and he said that for appendix op,it cost 20 to 25K excluding med.
make it sure that's telling that she's telling the truth, or maybe she borrowed money from the loan shark, ask where is her passport, usually loan shark are keeping Dh passport..
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KT101, Moppet thanks a lot. Will prepare myself morally and sit with her for a talk. I'm feeling much more on top of things. Thanks for your help!
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Coming from a Filipino, I think what she's asking for is too high, if indeed her reason is really for the appendicits operation. The operation in the Philippines does not add up to the amount she is asking.
Better to ask her for an invoice.
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my friend got philpino maid,she said her helper so sneaky and end up fire her philipino helper,
you have to be very carefully,she still to new work for you,and also ask to much...
can she proof it?
if she cheat on you and just run away,not much you can do,even you had she sign aggrement...
Good luck
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TC
17 yrs ago
Even if she can prove the cost (or a lesser amount) would you still lend her the money? Think of how long it's going to take her to repay you given the maximum you are allowed by law to deduct from her monthly salary. It's not uncommon in such cases for the helper to disappear once she has secured the loan. Realistically it's going to be a free grant or nothing at all. In fact seeing you stated quite clearly your opposition to lending money when she entered into the contract if you go back on your word now you are leaving yourself exposed as a real easy target. And you'll find it will be only the start. Believe me, the helper's wider family know that she has some access to funds that they only dream of, and she is expected to send them money when asked - regardless of whether it would be seen as her responsibility in the 'real world', and regardless of whether or not it's for a 'legitimate' purpose. I know it's tough but I'd be refusing on the basis of the agreement already made. However, to balance things out, if you don't give her the money and it is a valid reason then she's going to have to get it from somewhere else...and it's possible she might get it from a loan shark which in turn could create a nasty situation for your family. Tough call.
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My sister had the same operation 4 years ago and it so happen that I was home for a holiday. She stayed in a public/non-paying ward but her medication amounted to an average PHP2.5/ per day I could still renember the " blow" each morning when the nurse did her round to give her medication and write another prescription. She was there for 15 days-- due to some complication or something and the need for the expensive medicine. What I am trying to say is that to spend HK$18k may sound outrageous but not impossible.
What is the point of asking for hospital bill if you do not intend to loan her some money anyway? But if you are willing to at least loan her part of what she asked, then by all means, do awk for it but as Starbucks said above, it could be faked. Howver, for less than HK$20 phone card, you could call up the hospital and inquire as to the veracity of that bill issued.
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KT101
17 yrs ago
Try to call them, details below..
Medical Mission Group Davao
63 82 225-8048
63 82 227-8602
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I would take up some of the advise above and call up the hospital to find out if the information and cost is correct. If it was, I would lend her the money or at least half of it if you are not comfy with whole amount. If you give half tell her she has to send less home to pay off the other half. If she then asked for more money later on I would tell her no, as the other loan was not repaid yet.
If you find out she is lying e.g. she confesses that her family all need new TV's and put pressure on her, once you try and investigate with the hospital then I would get rid of her as that would be extortion in my book.
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UHHA - you will have to tell us all now how it ends!!! Good luck!
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Dear All
I'm not sure the whole thing is finished ,but following all your kind advices I resolved it like this:
- our helper was due to receive her salary on July 30, I payed her in time of course (it should cover at least 1/3 of the debt)
- we give her cash advance for August salary (part of the salary only - but together with July salary should cover 1/2 of the debt)
- she said her sister managed to take a loan from there relatives working in Dubai
- I asked her to talk to me again if she plans to take a loan in HK (afraid of loan sharks)
- we planned to raise her salary after a year, but b/c of the circumstances we're planning to do so from August salary
I sat with her and told her that my friends told that 45K PHP is too much for this kind of surgery and in Philippines and if she knows how come the bill is so high. I asked a simple question but she started pouring out lots of stuff : she also thinks its too much; her elder sister is doing her a favor watching the kids she is afraid to offend her by asking her to explain, she herself would go to government hospital, her sister tried to ask for discount in the hospital, they need medicine for the girl, her friends in HK said that its always like this in private hospital, when they saw a doctor, he scared them said the girl needs to be operated immediately etc etc etc. Lots lots of stuff together with crying.
The bottom line I don't know what is the exact truth but II feel she is telling the truth and hurting. I hope she will be able to return the loan to her relatives quickly and we'll do our best to help her to save the money.
Thank you so very much for your responses!
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