Helper asking for Sub on Salary ...

Our helper has in the past occasionally asked for subs on her salary, and I haven't really minded ... it's usually just been a few hundred dollars that she's wanted, or maybe asked for her salary to be paid a few days early which hasn't been a problem. However, she has just asked me for a sub, and when I asked how much she said she wants the whole month paid now instead of waiting till the end of the month. I know helpers salaries aren't a huge amount, but we're not on a big expat package and have had a lot of expense ourselves over the past couple of months. I'm sure in her eyes she probably thinks we're very rich, but that really isn't the case, and paying her salary again now, when she was only paid 10 days ago, instead of at the end of the month may mean we are left short. The reason she gave ... her nephew is in hospital and she needs the money to help pay the bills. I really like my helper, but I don't want to be taken advantage of, and because I've given her subs in the past, I don't want her thinking she can come asking for money whenever she likes. Part of me feels really guilty that I told her I would have to check with my husband first and I did tell her we have had lots of expense lately so I would have to see what he says. He's not such a soft touch though and is likely to say no, which will make me dread having to tell her. I keep thinking what if it's the truth and she's her family's only chance of money ... but, then you really do here so many stories, what do you believe? How do I say no? Or should I say yes?

If she is from the Phillipines, the hospitals there require you to pay before receiving the treatment, no exceptions. If her nephew is really in the hospital, then she may be getting desperate calls for money. It really comes down to trust, and it sounds like you may have a few doubts about her story. More importantly, your relationship with your husband should come first. It would probably cause a lot of tension if you were short on cash and it was because you lent her money. It is a really unfortunate situation, but maybe you could compromise. If it turns out her nephew really is in the hospital, maybe you could lend her what you can afford. The rest she could borrow from friends. Several times my helper has lent/given friends money when a relative was in the hospital. If there is a big enough group at church and they all contribute it can raise the money quickly.

Thanks for the replies. My main concern is that if I give her all of the salary now instead of at the end of the month, and she then sends it to her family, what is she going to live on ... she wouldn't be due anymore salary until the end of November and that's a long time to go without any money. Am I then going to be in the situation again where she is asking me for more money before she's earned it? It's a bit of a vicious circle. I hate being put in this situation. I'm beginning to wish I hadn't got a helper, as much as I value her work, I really can do without this.

Thanks for everyone's advice ... seems that hubby is a bit of a soft touch afterall ... he said as long as she wasn't asking for any more than her monthly salary to be paid before the end of the month, then that was ok, but if she ever asks for a loan the answer will be no. She was very, very grateful when I said she could have it early, so hopefully we made the right decision and she will won't take advantage of the fact that we are decent people.