would you fire anyone....

if you had TWO helpers in the household. Both are keeping up with their responsibilities around the house.... (both are more than 4 years in our house).


However, in the last 3 months, they don't speak to each other anymore. Some times due to this problem, things are not done, miscommunications, or things are not done properly.


But nothing HUGE, no huge mistakes.


However, I am becoming very uncomfortable being a witness of all this.


My husband says as long as they do their duties, he doesn't care if they hate each other.


I feel different. I feel as a result of this, the "atmosphere" is no longer pleasant, no more laughter, and the tension is sometimes so thick, I have to mediate because I am in the middle of it.


I know what the problem/argument is between them. Not solvable, and not in my control and definitely none of my business.


But would you fire anyone due to this problem?

well, I dont' think I would tolerate the situation. I think a happy and harmonious atmosphere at home is very important. I mean because they work and live with us, it's like they're a part of the family, wouldn't you be upset if family members do not get along and pretend the other person doesn't exist? I don't know if you have kids, but if you do, I can't imagine it being a pleasant environment for them as well.


So... without knowing exactly what their problem is - is tough to give you advice. But I think I would sit down with them and tell them that if they dont' work out the problem, one of them will be let go, and then try to help them solve the issue. And if it still doesn't work, fire the one you are less happy with. At least she can't say you didn't give any advance warning!

Perhaps I can recount a personal story that might (or might not!) help.



I was in the unfortunate situation once of being employed in a small and happy workplace and then having a new co-worker come in and make every effort possible to sabotage me.

I was miserable and felt attacked and the worst part was that I really had not done anything wrong. Until she started, I was happy, my bosses were happy and everything was brilliant.


To make a very long story short, my bosses gave me a 3½ month bonus pack and told me that they really regretted having to do this but it was in the best interests of the workplace dynamic to keep her as she was much more qualified for her job than I was for mine and on top of that I was 5 months pregnant and would have been leaving on maternity leave within a few months anyway. I was so hurt and cried a lot over how let down I felt but could selfishly feel a little good when once I was out of her way, she found a new target to attack and when the bosses wouldn't take any of her BS the 2nd time around, she quit and gave no notice....just told them that she was going home and wasn't coming back.


She is 'persona non grata' there now and I am on friendly terms with my old bosses. In fact, I'm visiting them tomorrow during lunch break to say hi with my son. We all feel bad about what heppened back then and wish we could have done things differently but what has transpired has and we can't change that, we can only be positive about the future.


A healthy and happy workplace is vital for everyone and even moreso when you live at your work.


Perhaps you can call a meeting and say that they have 10 days to discuss the situation and come to a harmonious agreement or one of them will have to decide to leave. Failing that, you will have to choose which one to fire...or perhaps both and start fresh with new staff if you think that is the best sollution.


Good luck....

There are intermediate steps before termination. Start by having a sit-down conversation with each in turn, where you try to figure out what is wrong. Be positive and make sure you point out things that do go well. But stress that you are not happy with the situation.


If nothing changes, have a sit-down conversation with both. Make sure they understand that while they don't have to be bosom buddies, you expect them to behave professionally and to communicate about work related issues. And you don't want to see or hear their arguments/whining/sniping/whatever. Tell them that if you have to have this conversation again, one or both will be terminated.


If they're mature and responsible, they'll respond well. If one or both is not, the non-communication will lapse into open warfare and the problem will solve itself, albeit messily.


"My husband says as long as they do their duties, he doesn't care if they hate each other."


But you say things are not being done so you're obviously past this point.

momoftwo - I have two helpers as well, and they are family, so kind of have to get on! I was told many times to hire family if you are going for more than one helper.. Anyway, I am with you on that one - could not stand it if there was tension at home between mine two... If it ever happens in our house - i would get rid of one I guess - we have one who has been with us a few months longer and way more experiences and the other one - we got her from Phil - so no brainer who stays I suppose.. If you do end up firing one - make sure that the next one is a relative of the remaining one - sister, daughter etc... good luck.


Tho, of course, you might try confronting them first and warning them if they dont sort this out, one of the is on the way out..

If I may, a different opinion.

I don't think it would be right to take both of them for a talk about it. As you said -- you feel/think that it's unsolvable, not in your control and none of your business. As an employer in a company I wouldn't do so because that would bring more tension and possibly could cause one or both to try and blame the other for things.

I think you should try and have a friendly talk with one at the time without mentioning the fact that one will have to go if it's not sorted. Something like "what's going on? try and sort it out. I am sure it's not nice for you as well" all with a smile.

The fact that they are DH or thier origin has nothing to do with it - they are normal employees in a small company called 'house' and both might react diffrenetly when faced with the option of 'sort it or one is out'.

Give them a while to see if there is a change and then decide.

Good luck.

i go with angieC