Posted by
cc77
17 yrs ago
Hi all,
Just want to hear some opinions regarding looks. May sound funny but here how the story goes;
I have a friend who had an experience working in another country before and now wants to try here in hk. We met in philippines last month during my vacation ,since she has no money to apply in agencies, she decided to ask me a favor to find a prospective employer for her. Since my boss' friend here in hk is having trouble with her current helper, she's looking for her replacement. I recommended my friend and gave her my friends resume and photos through my boss.Her comment surprised me. She didn't mention about her previous employment neither her background, but she was so bold in saying she doesnt like her looks. That my friend more likely look like a boss than a helper. Yes, its true, my friend has whiter skin than other filipinas but she doesnt look like miss universe though.
Does it really matter? I mean , the looks? Even she applies to agencies, she would use the same pictures, so it would be very difficult for her to find a job because of her looks???
Feedback/comments are well appreciated
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maxis
17 yrs ago
If your friend is cute/attractive that may be a problem from employers point of view.
Employer may be jealous a bit,
or be precious type and insecure, scared her husband's attention may wander.
Jealous that the helper gets treated by the public decently, like offered a seat etc.
Or sometime attractive women can be lazy and take advantage (this happens everywhere) whereas someone a bit less pleasing on the eye has to earn everything they ever get.
Also, if your friend is cute (and nice personality of course), she may develop a social life, and not want to be a 6am to 11pm slave (which some employers want)
ALso, she may get a boyfriend (if she isnt married already), and prefer to marry him and work with him in his business, than being someone's helper - a perception not necessarily true.
Dont forget, some people like their helper to look the part, like an inferior being, so they feel more comfortable barking orders at them, and that the not so good looking one is likely tyo have a lower ego/esteem,and obey and not stick up for herself.
A single guy would like to have a cute helper (you can make her your personal assistant as well, as the housework would be nominal, and if she ius well spoken she is less likely to get mucked about when yo send her to transport dept/bank as they won;t be sure if she is a helper or a girlfriend or what).
But a wife would usually like a generic looking, generic acting, generic behaved helper, for stability
An insecure/jealous wife would like an ugly helper.
The husband of the insecure/jealous wife may possibly like the eye candy
Jokes aside,
she should get some photo's taken where she looks a little more severe, hair tied back, not much makeup, practical blouse buttoned high, kind yet efficient expression on the face, not look too proud, look quiet yet confident (ie humble)
then she will increase her chances, and if she is cute/attractive then put that to work say 6 months after she gets to HK
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YES! Looks matters a lot!
But this is in other jobs as well.
If you look in any classified you will find that in many positions they ask to add a recent photo to the resume. They want someone presentable, someone that will be nice to look at.
I think that maxis covered only few of the options above, but there are more reasons to pick according to face, many more.
Basically, if you look at most of DH's resumes you will see that most of them have similar experience in similar duties, so I guess potential employers are left with only the face to look at, to see wether they 'connect' to that face that they will be seeing every day for 2 years.
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I would say looks matter, but bearing and grooming matter more. If even a "medium-pretty" woman dresses in revealing clothes and talks/gestures in a ditzy manner, she is less likely to be taken seriously. The same woman in "serious" clothes and a serious demeanor makes a completely different impression.
"Jokes aside,
she should get some photo's taken where she looks a little more severe, hair tied back, not much makeup, practical blouse buttoned high, kind yet efficient expression on the face, not look too proud, look quiet yet confident (ie humble)"
Good advice.
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788
17 yrs ago
Looks do matter- BUT they can only take you so far or be a hindrance (as in your friend's case) for so long. Once you have established that you are a good worker with a good personality- generally you should be fine. Ofcourse, if the case is like Maxis mentioned where the employer or colleague is insecure about themselves- then......
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i must agree looks does matter.. i have been working as a nanny here for the last 3 years and i reacently hunted for a new job as my boss moved on to another country...
im not that pretty but i do hold my own if i do say so myself.. i am well spoken and almost native in my english....
i was very surpirsed by someof the comments i got from some of my interviews...
it was either im too open or im too fluent or im genetrally not suited to be a dh... and the worst i am too confident with myself..
i was thinking, i thought people wants their employees to be confident with themselves as it would take a lot of confidence to handle somethings for your boss like going to the bank or dealing with the children's school matters by yourself in behalf of your boss..
yes i dont have much experience in household duties onlylight normal one ie laundry etc.. and have worked mostly with kids on a private tutor capacity...
needless to say i was happy that those employers didnt hire me as it would have been a problem...
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"i was thinking, i thought people wants their employees to be confident with themselves as it would take a lot of confidence to handle somethings for your boss like going to the bank or dealing with the children's school matters by yourself in behalf of your boss.."
You would think. However the reality is lots of people are insecure and worry about letting an independent thinker into their home. They feel threatened.
Speaking for myself and my wife, we are quite the opposite. Our helper is independent, witty, even sassy within reason. We prefer it that way. We'd rather have someone who can not only follow instructions but make wise decisions on her own in our absence.
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Looks do matter, no matter what proffession you do in life. It's all about first impressions.
I agree with axptguy38 - I would much prefer a helper that is confident, forward etc. and if she happens to be good looking, good for her. If that means she has an active social life, boyfriend etc. (and therefore maybe a happier existence away from home), fantastic.
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maxis
17 yrs ago
Rach Robin,
Agreed, but the reasons you would be happy for her to have an active social life and perhaps a boyfriend is because you:
(i) are not insecure
(ii) are not jealous
(iii) don't want her working 18hr days
(iv) don't want an intrepidated mouse scuttling in the shadows when you walk through the room.
(v) want her to live decently like a human
But if you liked to brow-beat and dominate, then a less attractive (and insecure hopefully) helper would suit you well. Unfotunately, not everyone has the same game plan as you.
We should remember that if someone is very attractive, thei does exist the possibility they may consider themselves too precious to take instructions, but if that was the case the workforce the world over would just be damn ugly, as each generation of uglies climbed the ladder and then only employed others even uglier....ugly thought.
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cc77
17 yrs ago
Its all about attitude then. Anyway, pictures sometimes deceiving, we wouldnt know a person's real personality till we see it with our own eyes.
If I would happen to be an employer, I would rather look for someone who has these "smart-looking" face (not really ugly though cause if I would happen to have a child, afraid they would become look-alike...hehe..that happens when a helper takes care of a dog...they almost got the same face.) joke joke joke
I checked again my friend's picts, shes not wearing make up (just lipstick) , neither wearing attrative clothes, just really wondering why this employer commented that way...maybe she's just kinda belongs to these "insecure" type of employers.
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I like to watch a potential employye's video rather than just a picture for the reason you stated(cc77). They stand so rigid and try to pose as very obedient and so on so it's very hard to pick a right one, so I look more for those spontenious facial expressions and smiles, then you can see more about the real person.
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cc77
17 yrs ago
lol....personally, when I started applying as dh, never once I thought to pretend to be "obedient" looking in my pictures ..now omaharrison gave me a good idea if ever I would come back to hkg
anyway thanks all for your comments and advises.
Cheers!
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cc77, maybe you misunderstood me and maybe you haven't seen the pictures they have in many agencies. I find that look they ask the DH's to have very degrating. When one wishes to hire a DH he is faced with a list of things of which the DH claims to have experience and unfotunately most have same things and a picture doesn't say anything about the person- some are more photogenic than others and some just have a better camera. So in a video it's easier to see more of the person and get a better opinion if one wishes to hire that DH.
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cc77
17 yrs ago
"They stand so rigid and try to pose as very obedient "
well thats how I understand this sentence (maybe i got wrong understanding)
Anyway, you are right, its much easier to see a person's personality in video than in pictures. I had this experience in agency and its quite funny. There was this lady who was asked by one of the agency staffs (actually the agency's photographer) to show her best smile (actually she was asked to show as much teeth as she can.lol) when taking pictures for the reason that employers like smiling face. The point is, the lady wasn't feel like smiling at that time but the result of her photos was quite different. Totally different than in person. Tricky isn't it?
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Genie: You polished me with a dirty cloth so you only get one wish.
Ugly woman: Take me to USA ( showing him the map)where I could find a handsome and rich husband.
Genie: Sorry, but my power only works in Hong Kong.
Ugly woman: ( after a long contemplation) okay, turn yourself into a guy and marry me.
Genie: Hmmmm lemme see that map again, perhaps something could be done.
So, does looks matter? Absolutely.
I saw an ad in SCMP, an American bachelor looking for a helper with experienced working for westerners. I was not qualified but I tried, and was hired. when he asked me to post back the unsuccessful applicants c.v i was surprised because many were much more qualified than I. Later on, I over heard him tell another pal who was thinking to hire a maid. He said (something to the effect) That helpers are like painting that you got to look at for the next two years, so it better be pleasing to the eyes. He probably hired me for that, but he got a jackpot because I turned out to be what he later on called a PH.D helper. I was, in effect became his personal assistant. I did the stock market for him, wrote his letters, took care of everything in the house and could arranged very complex travel plans for him where travel agents had given up.
My nightmare...jealous girlfriends! Different one almost each week. one demanded why I slept in the gust room and not in the servant's room. One insisted I use the back door, not the front door.
Yes, to work as a DH, looks, bearing, confidence, intelligence could be a big hindrance.
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souffle queen - good to have you back on the forum, it has been a while I think! You sound amazing, let me know if you ever are done with your american batchelor and fancy a change and some kids around (thought cant imagine you would, looking after single man has got to be so much easier!!)!
Anyway - on the topic about looks - when I interviewed DHs 1.5 years ago, I interviewed around 10 before I found mine. She is not a stunner at all, but just your average in terms of looks, I certainly did not even think about how she looked. However one of the helpers was very nice and experienced and ticked all the boxes, except - she was missing more than half of her teeth!!! That might make me shallow - but I just could not get past that! Do I feel bad, yes I do. Could I live with it for 2 yrs - nope!
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alamb
17 yrs ago
Looks, confidence,expeience etc. can be of demerit sometimes. Am to is a domestic helper and I have had interviews wherein I was told eye to eye that I am too smart.others said I'm to short or quite short, that i will not be able to reach cabinets. All these I just laugh at it and the looks and being smart I certainly had thought man what an insecure wife!
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ldsllvn, I did not know that I's been missed :) I sort of "protesting" because Ed still has not made the changes he said he will ( and at one point said he had) done on Domestic Help section.
The single guy was in late 90's. He was such a difficult person to work for. If you think it was easier, gosh no. I roamed all over HK looking for things he needed ( or his family and friends back form the states) , shopped pressies for his 13 secretaries and countless gf's. The later part, I even stayed until 2 am posting his cv online etc..etc. Again, I was more of a PA than a helper, but I did not complain. The things I've learned working for him, helped me a lot. at one point I did look for 3 kids ( 6,4, 2) . I've decided not to work with kids anymore, it is just too emotionally stressful when time will come that we have to part. With all due respect, working for my current employer, it will be next to impossible to work for someone else.
As for the "toothless" helper, at least you made your choice from the start.
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Looks do matter.
But not always because we got the looks, so to speak but at times, because we THINK we got it.
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souffle queen - that brings around that question that six asked (sorry to hijack the tread) you say "working for your current employer, it will be next to impossible for work for someone else" - what makes your employer so good? That is exactly what six was asking - please share?
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