Helper cannot read or write!! Help!

I just hired a SriLankan helper through AsiaXpat..She is a direct hire..but her sister has been working in hk with a British employer for the past 8 years.. I interacted with my helper's sister, and she is extremely well spoken and polite.. all the mannerisms that you might like to see in someone who your 14month old toddler is seeing through the day.

Also, my helper claimed that she had worked for 4 years in HK with an Australian employer..

However, now that she is here, ..

Day 0 - I get to know that she cannot read or write !! She can hardly understand what I say to her..

Following recipes, using the micro, buying groceries, and trying to talk to my kid.. these things.. nothing much can be done about them..


She doesn't know the difference between "less" and "more"..

between "tomato" and "potato"..

.. and with a baby in the house, I don't know how safe he is when I am out.. for that matter, how safe is my house when I am not around..

She is a sincere girl and wants to help, but the fact that she cannot read a thing, makes things slightly difficult..I don't want to just send her back(as I know she needs the money).. but then,.. what should I do!!

PLS HELP!!!!

We have gone through nearly 6 months of something similar. It hasn't got any better and we've decided to cut our losses. I've concluded that

We have gone through nearly 6 months of something similar. It hasn't got any better and we've decided to cut our losses. I've concluded that if the helper can't understand your instructions then for all sorts of reasons it is not going to work. Most importantly it is difficult to leave your child with someone who can't understand how you want them to be looked after while you are away.

just my two cents...not sure if it wud help but here it goes anyways...we hired someone like this 3 yrs ago....sri lankan, v sincere etc. all the good qualities u would need and look for in a helper but same dillema. no written/reading skills and communication v v poor. luckily i am a stay at home mom so i was around but can i tell u in 4 mths she was SPEAKING almost fluent english. as far as groceries concerned i would tell/show her and she wud write the list in her own language and then walk down to the park and shop buy the stuff and come back home.

yes i couldnt let her tk a bus at the time but now she tks my son to lessons etc in taxi. no problem.

as far as the cooking (she still cant read) i would read the recipe and brief her and i think sri lankans in general (not all but most) cook pretty well and hv a knack for it, the resipe would turn out almost prefect and then she would write it down in her book in sri lankan for next time.

my advce would be if she a nice girl gv her a chance they pick up stuf v v fast. we still hv her....she re signed with us and we were happy to keep her. although i still cant throw a recipe book at her and say try this but i read it and brief her and she gets it.

as far as the micro r concerned i had a fili b4 her and i still had to show her how to use it so same way i showed my sri lankan and she got it.


hope this helps...

how did you manage to interview her? or did you not? Hopefully in a couple of months she would get there, but then be prepared to reading recipes to her for the rest of the contract like Hyperactivebunny says! Is it something you have time for? I know I dont....

yeah when i see how dedicated she is twds her job, how much she loves my son and tks care of him, or how concerned she gets over our wellbeing, reading a recipe seems like the simplest thing to do. and like i mentioned im a SAHM so i could do it when my child took a nap or now in pre school in the morngs. everybodys lifestyle and priorities are different. you hv to see what works for u.

Without communication, any relationship is doomed. No different between employer and helper.


We have problems with helpers who speak and understand English fluently, can't imagine someone NOT understanding English well....


In fact, it can be dangerous, as often, I ask my helpers to READ labels, warnings, and instructions, and/or take phone messages, answer the door.... I would worry about the safety of your child.


I would hire another helper.

I would talk to the helper together with her sister and explain the problem. Sri Lankans are extremely innovative and together they can try to come up with a solution - if you like her personality and are getting on well together, I would imagine that in a few months things will be much better. Set a deadline - within 6 months if she can't speak reasonably fluently then tell her you will have to look around for another helper. Sri Lankans tend to be shy, so she may actually understand/speak more than you think - if she understands how important it is, then she will probably step up to the plate. As long as she's loving and caring, honest and sincere and is trying her best, I think she deserves a chance. Anyway that's my two cents worth, hope it helps.

How are things progressing? Do give us an update! Trust all is well.

I have DH with a very similar story.


We are working parents & I need a DH who is relaible. She is nice but after 9 months of having her & trying my damnest to keep her...I am really going nuts.

Sorry to say, but if one is illiterate then there are a lot of issues to consider as well.

Some problems in my home:

1. She gives the wrong medicines & quantities to my child ( even though she has written it in her own language).

2. Whatever she has written in her language, be it recipes, quantities, etc., she herself cannot seem to be able to read what she has written.

3. She does not & quite honestly cannot do tasks which we would consider to be simple. Gets the timings wrong, does not understand minutes from seconds from hours, it goes on & on.

4. About 4 days back, we had a wiring problem, the overhead ceiling light caught fire. Thank God I was home to deal with it. My DH told me then that she could smell burning for some days & could see smoke but never bothered to let us know.


Things like this as common sense. You do not have to be educated for it. However, she just seems plain dumb in just about everything & I have genuinely reached the end of my line. I have tried & given her a chance..but now I ask myself if my child is safe around her?? The answer to that is NO & I believe her lack of reading & writing plays a very important part in all this. I am going to let her go, I like her but then I have my priorities....Maybe a stay at home Mum would be OK with it but the fact yet remains...your DH has to be relaible & trustworthy.

well.. things have certainly changed since my first post on this thread..


After going through the different suggestions.. I actually had a very simple discussion with her.. About things that I wanted her to work on. I did not even once shout at her.. or even speak to her rudely. in fact, kept acknowledging her positive points all through.. And the girl was(seemed) sensible enough to be thinking abt these points..so, i thought!

However, within precisely 5 minutes of our discussion, her sister calls me up.. and starts SHOUTING at me.. for Forcing her sister to learn english(!), enforcing a time-table for her working day(!!!!I had asked her if she wanted one,.. she said she'd manage without it.. that was it!), making her work till midnight(wow!!.. we sleep much before that.. what does she do till 12!!).. and so on and so forth!!! I have never had someone shout at me like that.. and my good-for-nothing helper's sister shouting at me for NOTHING that I did.. excellent! I insisted on having a face-to-face discussion with both sisters.. and both of them would keep saying.."pls give the termination notice".. which I did!!


The one month notice period is now on.. suddenly my helper is behaving a lot better.. and guess what I get to hear from a friend's helper, who my helper meets in the kid's playground everyday :--

1. My maid had never intended to work with me.. in her own words, her only intention was to get just about anyone to bring her to hk.. so that she could find another job!!

2. She had already landed another "higher paying" job with a "western" family at discovery bay..

3. Her sister (who has a number of contacts through her british employer of 8 years) obviously gave a sob story about us, the ill-treating employers!!.. so, the "western" family does not even need a reference letter from us!!

4. and NOW.. the icing on the cake.. when we hired her.. we were told that she had worked from 2000-2004 with a chinese family... and she eventually went back to Sri Lanka to get married.. What she told my friend's helper is that.."Even there, they terminated me in an year's time.. and I took them to labour court.. If these ppl trouble me with the money, then I shall take them to labour court as well"!!!!..


Wow!! I like to believe my friend's helper, coz that lady had not been told about this entire "termination" episode by me or my friend..


Anyways.. another 18 days of her termination period are left.. She is working much more efficiently these days.. even trying to learn new things!!...


I wish I could take her to court for almost thugging us.. and I wish I could caution the prospective employers... However, I am just counting.. till my days of dealing with this oversmart helper get over!!

What do u mean by direct hire fm xpat?

http://hongkong.asiaxpat.com/helpers/