I am looking into hiring a part-time DH for when my baby arrives in a couple of months.
I would like help either
- 3 times a week, 9am-5pm or
- 5 times a week, 4 to 5 hours each time
The hours work out to be around 96-100 hours a month. How much should I expect to pay the DH on a monthly basis? I am assuming that we will be able to work out a monthly package instead of paying hourly (which works out to be very expensive!)
Please let me know if anyone has any experience on this front. Thanks!!
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you may be able to work out a monthly deal but as you can only employ a Permanent Hong Kong ID card holder you will still be looking at at least 40 $ an hour I'd of thought or more. It will just depend on the interest you get in the position and if they are willing to negotiate on that however i'm not sure stating how many hours it is a month really makes any difference to the salary it is still a part time live out position calculated on how many hours they do which is always more expensive i'm afraid.
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I find that a permanent HK ID card holder is asking for quite a lot ($60 to $70/hour) and some of them would not even negotiate a monthly package.
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frenchfries - permanent id holder is all you should be able to get (legally) - having part time non permanent ID holder is illegal.
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WWcC
17 yrs ago
I understand the standard rate is HK$60.00 per hour. However on the basis of 100 hours monthly, this will well exceed what a full time D/H cost to have. You should have no problem to find a helper paying this amount 'part-time' but will need to sign a contract. Alternatively you could take a full/time helper and just ask them to work the hours you require and pay anything from the standard monthly full-time salary which I belive is somewhere around 3,600. Just an idea!
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WWcC,
I think that is an idea I might need to resort to. If negotiations don't go well, I will keep that in mind. If I take in a full time DH, but do not want her to live in with us, do we need to pay her extra for boarding as well?
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Ed
17 yrs ago
FYI http://hongkong.asiaxpat.com/helpers/parttime.asp
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This is true IslandHopper but i doubt there are many of them willing to work as a cleaner for someone else.
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Moppet,
actually, i find that there are quite a number of dependent visa holders working part-time. i was able to find more dependent visa holders than permanent residents.
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well that's great, it sounds like you will have no problem finding someone to meet your requirements frenchfries. good luck and it would be great if you could let us know what salary you end up paying.
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Moppet, i wish i had no problem... only if i'm willing to pay a huge salary! with what some of them are asking for, i am expected to pay $6000/month! this is obviously way out of my budget.
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IslandHopper,
I agree. $6000 is not a huge salary. However, compared to a live-in full time DH's salary, it is quite a bit higher, especially when the hours are comparatively less. As for myself, I may need to adjust the expected hours to put the expense in line with my budget.
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frenchfries, why dont you just hire full time live in? I know, we all struggle with strange people living with us to start with (I did!) but then the benefit soooo outweight any issues with that! why dont you try it and if you really -really hate it, just let your helper go and try part-time then?
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frechfries,
part time basis minimum is hk$50 - 60 per/ hour and must be holding hk resisdents or dependant visa.
If your interested hiring a full time, my filipino helper is finnishing her contract at the end of this month, she can do live out as she has a hongkong residents sister here . if your interested to sign a contract i can give you her contact no. and you can interview her anytime, the rest you can negotatiate like the working hours salary from minimum to up.
She use to come to my house 5 times a week from 9 - 4 pm
she take care of my baby who is now 19 months old.
anfortunatley we are not able to sign another contract with her as we are having financial problem. This is her first contract with us as our old helper b4 her left for canada.
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ldsllvn and buzz74,
thank you for your advice. we are not interested in hiring a full-time. we only need the DH to do some household stuff and perhaps some cooking while i look after the baby and we do not think we need the DH to be around all the time. we currently have a part-time who comes in once a week for about 4-5 hours and we are totally happy with the arrangement and with her work. however, she is leaving hk next month.
on top of that, we are currently using the dh's quarter as storage and we would not be able to put our stuff away without the storage!!
buzz74, so ur full-time was a live-out one? how much did u pay her with the hours you have mentioned?
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Nope, live-out is not fully legal now, but because it use to be legal some of them are still doing it or they stay in the boarding during weekend.
Anyway their are lot's of thing is not legal far worse than that but people still do it.
So just don't shout it loud. beside she is not taking any other job.
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frenchfries,
We signed her contract so we pay her minimum, when we hired her it use to be 3200 + food and transfortation allowance because we wanted her live out.
Island hoppr, Yes she can't obtain a dependant visa through her sisiter but it helps her save some money rather than paying a boarding house.
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buzz74 she is not meant to live out at all irrespective of where she lives and if you decide to take the chance of employing a live out helper it is up to you to provide the cost of accommodation not the DH.
Wow you actually think she should of paid her own accomadation on such a tiny wage, you wanted her to live out but only offered minimum wage i'm shocked.
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Oh! yhea right I forgot to mention that boarding is paid by the employer as they are suppose to leave with the employer instead they choose her to live out.
I suppose I have not realize that as she was leaving with her residents sister here.
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Anyone who has a baby (under 1 year old) would definitely benefit having a FULL TIME LIVE IN helper than a live out.
As baby grow older, it is so much easier to have a helper full time in the household than live out.
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that is what i said too!! but, on another note, if Immigration ever finds out that you have a helper who lives out and it has not been approved by them - you will be in a way more trouble than it is worth! You can be banned from hiring again.. I really would just try to find storage for that stuff in helper's room somewhere else and have full time - way less hassle and way more benefit. Think about a built in babysitter!!
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as i have mentioned previously, i do not need the helper to look after the baby. *I* will be the babysitter for my baby. i do not believe in having a helper look after babies, especially when i will be a full-time mom. having said that, having a full-time helper would be essential when both parents are working, and it is great that we have the choice in HK.
i will not consider hiring a full-time helper at this time. of course, i might change my mind after the baby arrives!! but at this point, i will stick to my initial decision.
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I assume this must be your first born coming. You are highly underestimating the amount of work, and energy it takes in taking care of a newborn, and doing household chores, and groceries shopping, and maintaining your own health, sanity, and not to mention the quality of your relationship with your partner/husband.
Don't forget that as a new mother, you will need a break or two during the day or week from the baby. It doesn't make you less of a perfect mother, it's just being human. My advice is unless you have help taking care of the baby, I would consider full time help because you are going to be going through a lot of sleepless nights. A full time helper may help you during day time in doing a lot of things like cleaning, washing baby's laundry, going to shop for necessities while you stay home with baby, or vice versa. If you are not feeling well one day, you have an extra pair of hands to take care of your baby. It takes time for a helper and baby to get in sync with each other.
Realistically, you cannot be the only one taking care of the baby. It's possible, but I don't think it's healthy at all. You need to take time for yourself.
Just my two cents as I was like you very much before having my first child. I learned from my experience.
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am with Momoftwo on this one. And the thing is I think it is best to hire her well before the baby comes, so she is well trained by the time - i think it takes DHs a couple of months to do things the way you want it. And you dont really want to have to deal with this training once the baby is born. I am 100% sure you will change your mind, but if you do feel strongly about it, go for it, part time I mean.
we are just some random bunch of people to you, I do realise that - why dont you try to speak to some of your friends with babies? Do you have any that dont have full time help? Get their perspective?
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agree with ldsllvn too ! But I really understand where you are coming from frenchfries. You want to be 101% there for your baby. I sense that in your posts.
Talk to your friends, that's the best way. I think we all just want a new mom to be happy and healthy. Giving you some realistic perspectives and experience that's all.
I had 3 friends like you who thought they can do it all by themselves. Husband at work, a relative or part time help came in. At the end of 3 months, two of my friends were having Post partum depression, one ended up in marriage counselling, and all three agreed they needed a full time helper because they couldn't manage everything all by herself. Getting the right helper also takes time. Getting the right helper then, takes at least 2-3 months to get used to your household's standards, routines, and preferences.
Not scaring you, it's just reality.
Also in Hong Kong particularly, unless you have a car, you will find when you go out with your newborn, you will need help with all diaper bag, the stroller, or baby carrier, and when you end up with a shopping bag or two, you will wish you had a helper next to you especially in the 37 degrees celsius temperature during the summer months.
Enough said. I think you get our points.
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I will also chime in with Momoftwo. It's much more work than you seem to be predicting.
"i do not believe in having a helper look after babies, especially when i will be a full-time mom."
You have a right to your opinion of course, but I would note that most moms find a helper to be a godsend and presumably they can't all be wrong. As Idsllvn says, ask some of your friends.
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mayo
17 yrs ago
"You have a right to your opinion of course, but I would note that most moms find a helper to be a godsend and presumably they can't all be wrong"
Of course they are not all wrong but even if it's right for everybody else in HK if it is not right for you stick to your guns. After 10 years of full time help I switched to part-time help after a trip back to my home country. When I first got full time help I went in with best of intentions, my children (3 of them) were still going to pick up after themselves around the house and the helper was just going to help me out but it's easy to get lazy when you have the option. I noticed how my sisters children, younger than mine, packed away their own washing and helped with the baby while their mum was cooking. While my children didn't know one end of a wash basket from the other let alone a baby. That kind of independence and ability to comprise are attributes I want to instill in my children that I somehow forgot along the way. As a consequence of my decision to go pt my still protesting children have watched each other in sporting matches etc and waited in lines with me while I do banking, shopping etc like never before. Hopefully they are learning that sometimes you do things you don't necessarily want to for people who are important to you. I have got a bagging from a couple of mums here, one even told me I was trying to be supermum but I'm not. I just didn't have enough parenting skills or drive not to fall into lazy habits. This is the best way for ME to teach my children what I want them to know. It's not for "most moms" but it is for me.
Like axpat said it's a lot of work. Whether more or less than you expect who knows. Nothing is written it stone if later you decide a full time is the way to go the only people who will smirk and tell you they told you so aren't worth knowing. Good Luck.
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mayo
17 yrs ago
Oh btw I pay my pt-helper $2080 and a month for 4 hours twice a week. We have got to the stage where she will go home early if she finishes early and on days when there is more to do she stays a bit later but it still averages 4 hours twice a week. She will also babysit in the evenings for $60 an hour when I need her to. I found her on this site and although she is legally eligible to work pt a lot of others I interviewed tried to tell me they were but were actually FDH visa holders. I am pretty sure she is working everyday including weekends at the moment but I will ask her if she has any openings if you are interested.
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most of my friends around me who has had babies advised me to get a full-time. trust me, many of them tried to convince me to do so. i would not budge. it is not because i strive to be a 'supermom', or underestimate the amount of work involved in having a newborn, but i feel very strongly about this. i also have my mom who can help out when needed, not that i intend to depend on her too much. we also have a car, so that makes getting around a little easier.
having a full-time is a norm in this part of the world (because of affordability and availability), but in many parts of the world, it is almost unthinkable. people manage well without the luxury of full-time help. my mom didn't have ANY help with her two kids and she managed. not saying she had an easy time managing, but she managed!
i have felt strongly about this matter almost all my life, and even tho i thank everyone for their advice and concern, i am not changing my mind at this time.
mayo, thanks for your support on this matter. i agree with you 100%. do let me know if your helper is available to take on more work.
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Frenchfries good on you, i agree with what you say most people of the world have to get on with the job of raising children without the help of a live in DH and manage just fine. My mum raised 4 kids without help and we all turned out OK.
I also agree that often having a helper makes the whole familly lazy and what started out as an extra pair of hands turns into them working 12 hours plus a day doing everything possible in the home.
Anyway good luck with everything
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frenchfries, if that's how you feel absolutely go for it. However it almost sounds as if you think less of those of us who have helpers. We are not all lazy parents who just want someone to take care of the kids so we won't have to. I think we feel more or less the same about parenting. My wife and I want to "be there" for our kids instead of delegating to a helper.
I agree that many people become quite lazy. The way we see it though, having a helper allows us to spend more quality time with our kids. We are not the kind of parents who, just because we have a helper, leave the kids with her all day Saturday while we go do our own thing. We'll spend the whole weekend with the kids. Sometimes it's tiring and frustrating, but that's parenthood. If we didn't want to spend time with them, why would we have kids?
The helper is not there to let us live some sort of luxury lifestyle. She is an extension of us as parents, not a servant for the children. She helps us spend more quality time with the kids. She teaches them to be responsible, not lazy.
"When I first got full time help I went in with best of intentions, my children (3 of them) were still going to pick up after themselves around the house and the helper was just going to help me out but it's easy to get lazy when you have the option. I noticed how my sisters children, younger than mine, packed away their own washing and helped with the baby while their mum was cooking. While my children didn't know one end of a wash basket from the other let alone a baby."
Sure. But on the other end of the scale we have a helper whose main responsibility is the kids and those kids (as far as they can) help her clean, set the table, wash dishes, cook, do laundry... Just because you have a helper doesn't mean the kids necessarily get a servant.
"Nothing is written it stone if later you decide a full time is the way to go the only people who will smirk and tell you they told you so aren't worth knowing. Good Luck."
Amen to that. There will always be people who criticize you either way. It won't matter what you do. They just want something to gossip about. I can only imagine what some people say about me, the stay at home dad. ;)
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As far as I know having a heper is not necessarily as most of us who grow probably with out a helper unless you were born and grow up in a foreign country that having a helper is common like hong kong, and treating the person who work for you is totally and intirely up to you and how you use your posistion and power over your helper, but I realize being in a foreighn country having full-time is more convinient specially if you have kids and something comes up that you have to leave your kids at home, their is always you can count on to watch you kids and the most important is, your kids know the person. As for part-time you can count on to them only if their schedule is open, because they could be, probably working part-time to other family and getting a part-time on emergency is not easy unless you had relative or a good friends that you can ask a favor during this time.
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Does isn't true, what ever people do is their choice not some oneelse, it does not matter for the greater good or bad. Same as having a helper/employee/employer it's your choice how you treat person, and some choose the wrong way but it's their choice they are not suppose to, but what can other do? It is always, totally and intirely up to the person how to handle the situation.
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axptguy38,
i do not think less of people who hire helpers. i think it is a choice that people have and whatever works for u, that is great. i just don't think it's for me at this point in my life, that's all.
mayo,
i will send u a pm. pls check. thanks.
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"axptguy38,
i do not think less of people who hire helpers. i think it is a choice that people have and whatever works for u, that is great. i just don't think it's for me at this point in my life, that's all."
Fair enough frenchfries. My apologies for judging. I do also realize a helper is a luxury and that there are big risks involved in the fostering of independent, responsible children with a helper in the house.
It's funny that when you say "my mother handled it without a helper" my first thought is the opposite of yours. I am happy that we can afford this luxury. My mother in law certainly worked very hard as a stay at home mother with three kids. She's a great lady and I certainly wouldn't have had that kind of energy.
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axptguy38,
the way i see it, fostering independent, responsible children all depends on the parents, whether there is a helper in the picture or not. yes, there are more risks involved when a helper is around, but that is where good parenting skills come in. perhaps by setting a good example for the kids, they will learn from the parents in taking care of themselves without depending heavily on others.
well, we'll see how well i manage as a first time parent! with the arrival of the baby only two months away, i am feeling worried and don't know what to expect. i think 'scared' might be the word. how am i going to do as a parent? will i be able to teach the kid good values? there are millions of questions in my head....
to be honest, i am not too sure why i resist getting full-time help so much. i think i want to give this whole thing a try without the luxury of a helper for now. maybe i want to experience the whole she-bang. maybe i'll love it, maybe i won't. only time will tell......
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"well, we'll see how well i manage as a first time parent! with the arrival of the baby only two months away, i am feeling worried and don't know what to expect. i think 'scared' might be the word. how am i going to do as a parent? will i be able to teach the kid good values? there are millions of questions in my head...."
If you're a good parent, you'll keep worrying, but not too much. As soon as you think you've figured them out, your kids hit you with something new. ;) My friend says "small children, small problems." In other words as they get older, you get served with bigger challenges, but you don't have to start on the olympic level. Use your common sense and you'll most likely get it right. If you're stumped call someone you trust for advice. The hardest thing is staying consistent when you've had 8 hours of sleep in three days and your kid is screaming her lungs out. It's so easy to cave to a two year old who is having a tantrum because she wants to be carried down the stairs instead of using her perfectly functional legs. But I must not, must not, MUST NOT give in regardless of tortured eardrums or the anguish on her face. Oh the joys of parenting...
"good parenting skills come in. perhaps by setting a good example for the kids, they will learn from the parents in taking care of themselves without depending heavily on others."
Indeed. I think parents who don't set a good example will have problems regardless of a helper's presence. My daughters see me make my own coffee, set the table, clear the table, do dishes when the helper is doing something else, buy groceries. They don't see me sitting on the sofa while our helper comes with a drinks tray. How could we ask them to obey and respect the helper otherwise?
"to be honest, i am not too sure why i resist getting full-time help so much. "
You have principles. I have found mine rather annoying at times but ultimately I'd rather have them than not. ;)
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