DH sitting around spoiling dogs

I employed a full time maid 6 months ago. Having moved to a smaller apartment, I informed her that she can have a longer lunch break (2 extra hours) than her normal 1.5 hours since there nothing much to do in the apartment.


Basically, she does the cleaning etc and is finished by her lunch break. The afternoon she spends just sitting around and spoiling the dog and puppy I have to the extent that the puppy is definitely less disciplined when she is around. I have told her many times not to spend too much time with the puppy.


Initally, she was allowed to spend time with the puppy since I wanted her to train the pup with simple commands. I have given her a book on training puppies etc and have also showed her how to. Very little has come out of the so called training - it is in fact non existent now but she spends a good 2 hours in the afternoon just sitting around or having the pup on her lap!! No matter what ask her to do she does is fast enough to spend teh time with the puppy.


She is also temperamental in her moods and at times you can see she's not interested. This is often reflected in her cooking.


So rather than be in the same small space in the afternoons (I work at home when I am not in the office) with her spoiling the puppy, I asked her to have a longer lunch break. I live in Disco Bay.


This she fails to comply; she finds excuses etc to return at her normal time to be with the puppy.


I am sure she likes the puppy and is close to her but I don't think such closeness is good for either one of them. As the owner of the dogs I will be ultimately responsible for their indiscipline and ill behaviour.


I know the above might sounds silly but please I need some advice what to do.

You've already warned her repeatedly AND changed your routine to fit her quirks. Time to tell her she'll be fired if she doesn't change now. And carry out the threat if she doesn't change.

'I am sure she likes the puppy and is close to her but I don't think such closeness is good for either one of them. As the owner of the dogs I will be ultimately responsible for their indiscipline and ill behaviour.*


Why is it not good for them? I think it's great for both of them. To animal lovers, having an animal around is enriching and to an animal, being around an animal lover is all they could ask for! As you stated yourself, the dog spends a fair bit of time just chilling with the helper and he wouldn't do this if he didn't love her in his own little, doggie way.


In reality, your pup sees more of your helper each day and sees her as the 'alpha' in the pack which is why it is more important to him to please her rather than you who he probably sees as less important in the pack. You can't reason with dogs or apply human psychology to them. They have a totally different way of thinking.


You say you have told her to not spend so much time with the puppy but I wonder what it is that you want her to do. Should she lock him in another room and ignore him? Dogs are pack animals and thrive when they're around their family. What she is doing for your dog (just spending time) is perhaps what is best for your dog. What do you consider dog discipline? Do you want the dog to not bark? get off the sofa immediately? not beg for food? sit on command? do more complicated tricks?


As I said earlier. The dog probably feels more bonded to her and that's only natural. If you want to have her out of the house, you could get her to take the dogs for a 90 minute walk twice a day. That way the dogs would get plenty of exersize, the helper would be out of your hair and you could be at home doing what you need to do.

adele78, I think the thread starter would not mind so much if the helper actually trained the dog instead of sitting around.

Why don't you train the dog yourself. It seems you want to have the helper spend time with the dog, train the dog, but not show the animal any love or affection. if you are that concerned about it, then perhaps you should raise the animal yourself instead of having someone do it for you.


Otherwise, come straight out with your concerns to your helper and lay down the law. Tell her you don't mind her having a 2 hour lunch, but it must be without the dog.

Agree with Adele78 and specks, i don't understand why you got a puppy then expect the helper to train it. It's your dog and your responsibility and as it's owner it is you who should have the respect of the the dog.

The fact that the puppy obviously loves the helper and vice versa is a good thing. You can't have it all ways, the helper is expected to care for the dogs but then not form any bond with them. This i think would require a robot or a very cold sort of person.

I think most of you are over - reacting. Of course I am happy that the dogs are looked after well by the helper but are you saying that they need to be spoilt and pampered at the same time? How would you like it if your children are spoilt by your helper?


FYI, I do train the puppy when I am with her, and this is my one on one time with her, three times week. I do spend short periods of time with her when I am at home. But I am asking the helper to follow up the training since as you know a puppy's attention is short so what we need is regularity and consistency. Since the helper is the one most time on her hands.


Dogs are good for people (maids or not) and vice versa - I agree with that wholeheartedly but what I am saying here is cutting short work, sitting around and spending an exceesive amount of time with the puppy. Don't you want your children to be cared for and loved yet achieve or have some independence???

Kids are not puppies marcusboy and yes i do want my kids to be independent but we still spend huge amount of times with them interacting and doing things together i don't see that as spoiling them just being a good parent.

At the end of the day though if you don't want her spending time with the puppy you have to tell her that very clearly and strongly.

Noted with thanks, Moppet