advice needed on helper who doesn't do much

I'm wondering whether our helper is taking us for granted. When we first employed her she used to clean the house regularly, look after the baby, take care of all his things and if either my husband or I were away on business - at least attempt to cook (she doesn't know how to cook and doesn't show interest to learn despite several attempts on my part). Then we moved to a serviced apartment so she has no cleaning to do, she doesn't do any ironing (hubby's clothes are taken care of by his work and she says she is scared she'll burn mine), doesn't cook - not even for my baby (now a toddler), takes long baths, leaves the light and other electricals like TV, stereo, etc on even when not in use, doesn't do any grocery shopping or even store the grocery away when we've bought it, doesn't even give timely notice when we are running low on diapers or formula, in fact I could go on - probably easier if I say what she does.

She feeds my toddler (19mths), plays with him and puts him to sleep. She does his laundary and washes his dishes. That's the sum total of her work. She lives in with us in a very nice serviced apartment, has a proper room (as opposed to maid's quarters) with ensuite, including bath, gets a decent wage and is given the respect that we would accord a family member.

Now both my husband and I have been given more responsibility at work and cannot continue to cook each night and do the household chores. What do we do to ensure that our helper starts behaving like a helper?

I dont want to let her go - for all her shortcomings - my child adores her.

You've spoiled her in the beginning and obviously she thinks she's just a nanny to your child and doing what she's supposed to. Cautiously, guide her back to what you really want her to do in a nice way...maybe ask her to help in things one by one and eventually she will fall into the habit. Good luck.

Yes she's taking advanatge of you, and you have let her get away with it. I think it will be very tough to try and get her to improve significantly. Yes your child adores her, but she/he would soon grow to love a new one.

You have to sit down with her and tell her what you expect her to do. I had the a helper who was like that before and I was sorry to let her go. She din't feel any different from us because she was treated nicely.


Then the time came I got so fed up and let her go.


(was going to post a longer one but it's time for my class hahaha)


Anyways, let me continue...


You have to follow up with her. That's what I did with my previous one but since she was taking my follow ups for granted, I terminated her contract.


It was the same thing with me, my kids loved her but I had no choice since she was not doing what she's supposed to be doing. Told her my expectations before hand so I don't think we spoiled her in anyway. We treated her like family to the point that she wasn't behaving like a helper anymore :/

"Now both my husband and I have been given more responsibility at work and cannot continue to cook each night and do the household chores. What do we do to ensure that our helper starts behaving like a helper?"


As xmauix says, sit down and have a conversation about expectations. Follow up as needed.


"I dont want to let her go - for all her shortcomings - my child adores her."


If she has to go, she has to go. Your child will get over it.



"You've spoiled her in the beginning and obviously she thinks she's just a nanny to your child and doing what she's supposed to"


I don't know about spoiling her really but certainly the correct expectations never seem to have been set.


Helpers are not perfect. They need guidance, sometimes a lot of guidance. It's not a matter of micromanagement. Set expectations and then expect her to live up to them.

Definitely agree with cara. Get straight to the point, she can either do the job or not do the job. No grey area, it's black and white. We are always straight up with our helper and she knows exactly where we are coming from.


At the end of the day she is your employee, not your family member, as good as they are and as loving as they are with our children. Your child will adore another helper, they adapt much better than the parents do.

Thanks everyone for the advice. When she first started we gave her a set of house rules and a list of tasks and I went through that with her - in hindsight - probably should have prepared a new list when we moved apartments. Hopefully the talk and follow-up will do good.

yeah me too. I mean I have an extra nice employers that theydon't demand much. but this laziness, ya know.... for me, I want my boss to demand a lil bit to motivate me... but she doesnt :/ so I have to mnage laziness.. too much of everything is not good as well hahahihi

hi there ..


Your maid seems like a twin of my previous maid. You know, they did these things cause they feel that you have becoming dependent of their service .. that you can't live without them ... some may make gestures that they will live you and find other employers if you start to be demanding.


Well, don't fall for the trick. With current economy, many people are trying to keep the job or look for one. Therefore, this is the perfect time to EMPHASIZE your maid that her jobs are as the one listed in her contract i.e., household chores including cooking for the boss and child care. Ask her whether she intends to keep her job ...or she can leave.


Don't be afraid to say that to her. When you start to be firm, she will eventually comply if she wants to keep the job. If not, that means she is not seriously want to work for you and may be harming your child in the future so that you will fire her. This way, she will get 1 month compesation money. Think about it.


Hope it helps.