wish to replace helper--ethical reason?

Hi.


I certainly can't talk about this problem with any of my friends back home...


My new helper arrived finally (took forever) and the problem is, I was really getting to like the part-time helper that I had in the interum.The part-time helper is also available now and could be looking for a new job.


In my heart of hearts,I am wanting to hire the part-timer and get rid of the full-timer who has been with me just under 2 weeks. How un-ethical is this? It's not that she's so bad. I mean, I could probably train her to be pretty good. She's not bad at all--I would have thought her fine if I didn't have the experience of the other one.She is nothing like the part-timer--who was self-motivated and worked fast and hard aims to please. I am high energy adn I like that kind of pizzaz.The new helper is quiet and gentle (good with my kid, but is probably used to taking care of the kids fully, so doesn't seem to know when my son and I want to be alone). She is okay with the house, but you have to ask and tell alot more--she doesn't intuit as well as the other one. Having said that, the fulltime helper is a quick learner,and though I have found myself disappointed with many things,once spoken to she fixes the situation. So she is okay,just fine. The problem is I find myself irritated around her, as I simply prefer the other one. It is probablya personality thing--someone else might prefer it the other way around. Put simply,the part-time helper did things at the speed and in the way that I prefer and we shared a certain sense of humour.


Anyway, how unethical is it to replace the new helpersosoon after her being here? Any advice on how to do it? Will immigration let me hire a new one and let the old one go? Will I need to hire them both for a while? I don't want to say anything too bad about the one I am letting go. What sort of reason do I need to give to immigration.


I also want to help the one I let go get another job. Any ideas. Does anyone need a helper? She's great with kids,and by the time I let her go, she will be trained fairly well.


Any advice? Has anyone had this problem? How did you handle it?



Katey

all new helpers take a while to settle in, esp if they are fresh from phil and have not worked here before. but they do get there (well in most cases) eventually - maybe give her a couple of months and see how you feel after that?

I don't think it's unethical as such, but I can see how people would see it be that.


Do you need a full time helper or can you manage with your part-timer? IF you can manage with the part timer, then tell the full timer that it just doesn't seem to be working out and you don't think there is enough work for a full time person. that way you aren't really offending her.


If you do require a full timer, is it possible for your part timer to go full time? IF yes, then you maybe should say to your full timer now that you don't feel your personalities are working. It does happen and at the end of the day you have to live with this person 24/6.


However, having said all that, it really does take a while to get into a rythym with a new helper and you might find that she may be a little shy and quiet now because she knew and needs to get to know you and your family. She is also probably very nervous, I know my helper was, and it has took a good couple of months for her to relax and feel confident doing things.


In all honesty I prefer my helper to be on the quiet side. She can certainly have a joke and a laugh, but at the end of the day, she is my employee, I don't socialise with her and we don't really talk about our personal lives. My friend's helper is quiet extroverted and I don't think I could cope with that at all.


It's only been 2 weeks, that is nowhere near enough time to know if things will work out. The part-timer might be great but that could be because she has a deadline and needs to go to another job. I had a part-timer and she was unbelievable. The did perfect ironing in a flash and I sware the house looked like a brand new one within 2 hours! But how would she go if there was no deadline for heading off to her other job? It's all pro's & cons.


Perhaps you need to sit down and give her written direction in what you want. I have provided my helper with an outline of exactly what needs to be done and if you are uncomfortable telling her you want time alone with your son, then have it written in the outline that when you are home, you don't need her to look after your child unless requested. She can't know what you want unless you tell her.


I have babbled sorry, good luck in your decision.

Hi Guys,


Thanks for all your ideas. Very helpful. I guess, I will just ride it out a little longer and see how it goes. By the way, the fulltimer has worked in United Emirates and also Hong Kong (for 4 years before). And I know that filapinas iron everything, too much stuff--wasting time really. But my one irons nothing. Puts my husbands wrinkley work trousers and my totally wrinklely blouses back on hangers in the closet--finished. Of course, when I tell her to iron them--she does. I just think where is the effort here? Also, with all 10 years of her experience, she doesn't put clean towels or new rolls of toilet paper in the bathrooms on any regular basis. For the first few weeks in your job, I thought there would be a bit more--effort to please is all. Of course when I tell her, it gets done. First few days, didn't even make the beds folded the comforters in big lumps at the bottom of the bed. Sure, when I told her, my husband likes the bed made, she did it. But getting used to this after the part-timer who would of her own accord, organize the cuttlery and put clean papertowels under them, and who would go at the bathrooms like Mr. Clean, I am finding it hard. It's an energy level thing. But I will ride it out a little longer and see. The longer I go, the more attached my son gets to the new one. I am still employing the part-timer as I need to unpack and reorganize the whole house and with the p-timer I can say, let's find a good way to put this stuff in this closet and she will be come up with something great. We work on the big stuff a few days a week, while the other one watches my son. I doubt I could get the big stuff done with the new one, at the moment. I would have to direct every move and who would watch my son. And it would make me tired. This way, I feel like someone is working with me, not me pushing us up a hill.


Must go, but will keep going. Does anyone know what sort of reason I am required to give to immigration to let someone go, and whether I would be able to hire someone else easily after that, or at the same time?


THanks,


Katey

Katey, i think that you should sit down with your full-timer to go through the things that you expect her to do. The part-timer must have worked previously for someone who has the same expectations and standards as you do. Hence she knows the drill. The full timer needs to be aware how your household is run. So it's difficult to compare two people who have worked with two different household lifestyles.


On the other hand, an idea is for you is to ask the part-timer to come in a few days (with pay) to show the full timer the ropes around your house.


Only then can you gauge if the full timer is up to par to your standards.

Hi Again,


Everyone has been really helpful, and it is true I can probably turn this helper around via giving advice, talking to her, getting the other to show her the ropes. But the truth is: I would rather somehow replace her with the other one.


Can anyone tell me: what reasons are acceptable to immigration? Can I just say, personality Or, how difficult it is to hire two for an overlap period and let one go later. I could give her plenty of notice and help her find a job, and even give her a bonus for letting her go for reasons that are not very, how should I say....not very substantial.


really need to know what anyone knows immigration might have to say about it.


thanks,


Katey

you can have 2 or as many helpers at the same time as you wish so hiring a second one would not be a problem at all. Personality is good enough excuse, i dont think that anyone expects you to stick with the DH if it is not working. Really dont think Immigration will be bothered about either issue. Do what is right for you and it would be nice of course if you tried to help your full time helper find a new job - as someone rightly suggested she is probably up to her teeth in debt that she had to take to come out here.

i think you've pretty much made up your mind already so anything the full time maid will do (even it is right) will always be scrutinized and compared with the part time one. so yes it's better that you let the full time go because if you do keep her - you could probably feel contempt more and more for the full time helper


i guess the only thing you could say to the immigration is that the full time one is not working out for you.

Hi.


Thanks again. You know, it sounds crazy, but I am beginning to think we might hire both of them. Or at least offer that? Compared to Tokyo or Canada, their salaries are incredibly cheap and we have just got here. I don't know if it will work. I am not sure where the second one will sleep? Other people have two maids here. It will be difficult to give up a bedroom--especially with a second baby on the way. Is it too rude to suggest bunk beds in the maids room. We could offer them a bit of time off per week since they will live in crowded conditions. It is quite a lovely (but small) maids room. With big windows that look onto a garden? Just thought I might give an end to the story...crazy. Any input on maids sharing rooms?


Katey

bunk beds are fine and they can take a separate day off. also might be an idea to delineate their job responsibilites (major responsibilities but and understudy to the other's major responsibilities just in case)

we have two helpers and they do have bunk beds in the maids room which works just fine - a bit crammed of course, but they dont seem to mind. You will be in trouble thought if they dont get on as they are not family. Most families with 2 helpers I know have 2 family members working together - sisters, mother and daughter etc. So it is a bit eaiser... Try, by all means, but do not give up a bedroom, as they will be in your way when you want privacy i think - with the bedroom being "right there" while the maids rooms is normally tucked away and allowes for your privacy as well as theirs...

Sorry, so slow in getting back to everyone. Yes, I did think of keeping the part-timer as she is, but I find it funny that the maids sort of police each other. One other in the building seems to be concerned that this one is working for me so much part-time (probably jealous?) but I get worried someone could make trouble for her--visa and working two places, etc. It is just like how the Victorian women who were not allowed to express their emotions or passions, seemed to police each other. It seems to be the human condition. Anyway, this is why I think I need to hire her fulltime as well. Bunk beds here we go. K.

be very careful - as you know I am sure, having part-time helpers (unless they are local etc) is illegal. A jealous DH from your building might report you and your part-time helper to immigration (It has happened to a friend of our, seriuosly, not as far fetched as you might think) - and then you both are in no end of trouble. so hire them both on permanent basis to avoid trouble. Also increase in pay for your part-time will probably be marginal to go up to full time as pt normally costs quite a lot...

i hate employers comparing a new helper to the old one. why didnt you just hire an experienced helper? keep collecting and comparing ...you'll end up nothing. part timers doesnt like working as full time. it is suffocating looking at your faces every second of a minute, everyday. part timers are dancers , you know what i mean? they can dance accdng to your tunes.

it works the other way around too, there are helpers who compare employers with other helpers specially about wages.


it creates problem when the helper starts being "greedy" and wanting what the other helpers are getting that they are not