Posted by
natemama
16 yrs ago
Our maid arrived a week ago and everything seems to be ok. Today I asked her to go to a store with me. Just when I started putting things into our cart, I saw her holding a magazine so I told her that that was not on my shopping list. She replied that she knew and she just wanted to look at it while we were in the store. She also said that her previous western employer said it's ok to pick up the ones not wrapped in a plastics bag. However, I feel it is cheap to do that. I think that one should buy the magazine if he or she wants to read it. I said to her that they have the magazines here for selling and made her to put it back. On our way home, I told her that she should go to the library (we live very close to it) after work or on Sunday if she wants to read that magazine. She brought up the words from her previous employer again.
I recalled that I had to point out to her that she should stand on the right side of the escalator on her first day. She told me nobody ever told her that in her 20 plus years in Hong Kong.
As I am new in HK and new to hire a helper, I'd like to hear from others if I went too far or was totally wrong on the magazine incident. And as I really want to have a long term employment relationship with her, can other experienced employers give me some more advice on things like these to watch out so I can communicatie with her ahead of the time? something I thought she should know but she doesn't... or I should just pretend that it didn't happen since it is't against the law?
Any feedback is appreciated
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i sometimes flick through magazines in stores, prob 99% people do, really dont see an issue here. when it comes to her work - you can ask her to do things the way you want them. when it comes to "parenting" her - not sure we have the right.
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hi natemama
good for you for wanting a long term employment relationship with your helper, whether it be this one, or any helper you may have. i think your helper is lucky that you have this attitude.
your helper was told by her previous employer that it was okay to pick up the magazine, you are saying it isn't okay. you and the previous employer have different moral codes.
i think you should let your helper decide what she is going to do.
from what you write, it seems the something that you "thought she should know but she doesn't" (reading the magazine) was your opinion.
i think it is also great that you offered her options..going to the library after work or on weekends. shows that you are interested in what she likes. welcome to hong kong and i hope these first few bumps in the road are soon smoothed over.
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I often just have a quick flick through magazines to see if it's worth me buying it, but I do often see helpers in my local supermarket actually reading them from cover to cover. Personally, I wouldn't want to buy a magazine which appears to have been read by several other people, but that's just me. She is however an adult, and just because you don't agree with it, I don't think that gives you the right to tell her she's not allowed to do it. Different people have different standards. Although I do agree with you. Magazines do tend to be expensive here, especially on a helpers wage. If you want to maintain a good realtionship with your helper, and as a gesture of good will, it would do no harm to let her choose one magazine each week to pop into your shopping trolly ... as long as she doesn't read it first! Just a suggestion ....
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Don't worry about it. if she wants and has the time to have a flick through a magazine, then i can't see what the problem is. If the shop assistants don't want it to happen, they will say something. The only time I get annoyed is when i can't get to the shelf to pick up a weekly magazine that I buy because everyone is standing around reading them.
Other than, she is an adult, let her take care of herself. I do agree that if you want to read a mag from cover to cover, then absolutely you should buy it, but if it's just a quick flick whilst waiting in line for the checkout, then i think that's okay.
I honestly wouldn't worry too much about the minor issues, unless it is impacting on her performance.
However, she shouldn't say what her last employer did and didn't allow her to do. She is not with her now, she is with you, and she needs to abide by the rules of your household, not anyone elses, end of story.
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in my opinion, you should talk to her to say that it's not ok with you if she keeps being defensive and comparing you with her previous employer
also mention to her that different households have each their own set of policies.
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thanks to all for sharing your opinion.
I don't mean to be defensive but she was't just doing a flick there. She picked it up as soon as we got in the store and held and tucked it as we were going from shelf to shelf. Frankly, I felt very uncomfortable with that. Sort of the same feeling I would get when my son grabs a candy and starts chewing with its wrap on. I jsut hope that she won't do that again, at least when she is going shopping with me. I certainly hope that conversation is all we need since I don't want to parent her.
As for the escalator thing, I don't think that it is totally an issue of different opinion. There are so many escalators in hong kong and most people are used to stand on one side. I pointed it out to her for not wanting her or my little guy be pushed accidently. Also for the "selfish" reason, I directed her that she should stand behind my son during going up and ahead of him when going down.
And Biz Bang, I did feel a tiny bit annoyed when she talked about her previous employers.
That's all I can say about her, otherwise she is great.
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cd
16 yrs ago
I always flick through magazines so don't see that as a problem. But as to carrying it around the shop, then yes definately a problem, however you didn't say that in you original post.
As to her mentioning her previous employers, it doesn't sound like she's doing it with a bad intent, she probably can't quite understand that what was considered OK for her to do for the last few years isn't now. Just tell her nicely the way you like things done.
And she's certainly not the only person in HK that doesn't stand on the right side of the escaltor, as you say, thats not a legal requirement, just more often done than not.
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F456,dont be too sarcastic here. Do you also pick up magazine and carry it around and return it back on the shelf after you read it.I dont think thats the right manner.Problem with the helpers that has been long time here is that they are very proud and thought that they knew everything.
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miming, that comment can be true at times. (proud)And if I was the helper of natemama, I would not be reading that magazine if I am with my employer. I am at my working hours to say. Some employers might not agree with this one but that I would do if I am the employee!! Comparing is not good. I find that very
obnoxious and shows the attitude of the helper. She is just a week old in your household. I would tell her My rules and tell her straightforward that these rules will be totally different from where she came from.
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Generally speaking, we are happy with our helper. The reason why I brought this up here was I had doubts. Thanks to you all for sharing now I have better ideas on handling things like this. The end.
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