Change of behaviour

My Indo helper has been with my family for 5 months. Last month she announced that she'd been engaged and would be getting married. Her future husband is in Indonesia.


However, she does not tell me when she plans to go back to Indonesia. I told her that since my husband and I work full time, I need to know about it much in advance in order to find a new helper to take care of my 14 months old son. She said she was not going back yet.


However, her attitude changed dramatically: she became arrogant, rude and careless when it comes to her responsibilities. For example, she is a worthless cook, and when I cook something she'd comment that the food is "too salty" or "too much tomatoes", etc.. She "forgets" to do what I ask her and questions my judgment when it comes to dressing up my son or moving the furniture around the house. She never behaved like this before engagement.


I have a feeling that she would leave very soon otherwise why would she become so annoying? Is it a good time to fire her now and have a peace of mind instead of getting a 1 months notice from her and rush around the city in search for a new helper? It would be extremely difficult since we work full time.


If you experienced similar situation please share.

Suggest you start looking and interviewing other helpers that are finishing contracts so that you have something to fall back on. Set aside your helper's potential deceitfulness about the timing of her departure, her unsatisfactory job performance and bad attitude meanwhile are grounds enough for termination. Good luck!

Bad attitude, rudeness and borderline irresponsibility ? You have a 14 month old son you're entrusting to this person ? You do the math. I have a 6-month old, a 5 year old and a 3 year old - first thing I demand of a helper is never to undermine my authority when it comes to my kids, especially in front of them.


My friend is actually finishing her contract next week and is desperately looking for work. She's been with her employer for 14 years but decided she wanted a change. Anyway, I apologise if I sound pushy. I am just trying to help out a friend. If you do decide to replace your current helper, feel free to email me: jcalar@yahoo.com.


Anyway, I'm sure you'll make the right decision.

It baffles me why you would even consider asking this question. You are accepting the unacceptable. Find a new helper, on the morning of her arrival day terminate this individual and pay what you owe plus a months notice, get her a ticket home and be done with her. Dont allow this situation to develop any further.

Thank you all for the feedback. I have decided to terminate her. I do not see any improvement and will have to look for another helper. The reason why I was reluctant and asked for a second opinion is because it is such a hassle to interview helpers: they all smile to you . Since my husband and I have to work full time in these difficult times, I do not have another option.