Argghh - need urgent help

Argghh, I need help.


Here's the situation. I have not had a helper for 3 years as I had 2 before (one good, one bad) and had to fire one and it was a very traumatic experience for me. I've managed without one (with p/t help) for 3 years. I am now expecting my 2nd child, have been really ill, moved to a big house and garden (we live in Singapore) and DO desperately need help with the housekeeping, ironing, laundry, cooking and babysitting (in that order).


Late last week I found a helper who I liked. She came across well and her reference was very good. She had been with an employer for 2 yrs 4 months before they left the country to go back home. She then went to work for another family and has only been there 6 weeks and her reasons for leaving there is a bit sketchy. At first I made her an offer which she turned down as I wanted to speak to her current and former employers. She then called me a few days later to say I could speak to her current employer who gave her a good verbal reference. I have felt a bit uneasy about this as he seems very happy that I am taking her off his hands. I also contacted her previous employer via email who has now left the country because whilst her ref was good, there where some simple gaps like "she did the housekeeping", but no comments on the quality and the dates of her employment and RFL were omitted. To me, a good ref should cover everything and I was wary as to why there were gaps so I emailed her in the UK. Anyway, I have pregnancy insomnia and just checked my emails to find that I have mail. The previous lady she worked for until end of Dec 2008 has NOT left the country and has let her go because she felt she had been there too long (2 years?) and her housekeeping/ laundry etc. is not up to scratch and despite loads of experience she needs to be told what to do down to the T. Apparently she kept her on as her kids liked her. I need someone to keep house and cook and it seems she has been let go because she is not up to par.


Here's the problem. I've made her a verbal offer (no paperwork yet), she's turned down other jobs (apparently) and she will be repatriated if she does not get a job soon. I feel really bad and kind of obligated, however I feel that at best I have been naive, at worst been duped and I am very upset as I do not need another child to look after or someone who is gong to be more of a hindrance than a help. I really do not want to go the route of employing someone who is no good and then having to fire her and stress over doing so, having her in my house etc. when I am heavily pregnant. I've done without so far and the worst thing that can happen to me is having someone around who is not going to do a good job.


I need help to decide what to do.

You don't need to to anything, you have not signed a contract so can change your mind at any time. Helpers always tell you they have other job offers. You main priority is to your self and your family and what is going to make your life easier, and this helper doesn't sound like thats the case.

You need to decide what will work for you best. You can explain to her that you prefer someone who you could trust, and that you've spoken with several of her references and that the story she is saying does not match up with what they are saying/


you said it yourself you do not want to go to the route of employing someone who is not good...


save yourself the trouble - you will have your hands full soon... do you want another trouble

down the road?


If you feel guilty, then give her some contacts who might need a helper


and if you do find someone who you think might be working, it is a good idea to have 3 month probationary period

I wouldn't hire her, she wasn't honest with you so trust is already a problem tell her this and that you wish her luck finding a job.

I didn't think the law allowed for a 3 month probationary period, i thought we agreed to a two year contract or nothing...

Yes in this case that's true but i've seen this suggested on another thread which is HK based. In honesty i don't see the point as you still have to abide by the legal requirements of hiring the helper under the two year contract law. All your really doing is telling the helper she's on probation but if you can end the contract any time anyway makes no odds.

the last thing you need when your pregnant (esp. near the end of term) is to have things around you that make you uneasy...walk away safe in the knowledge that this woman WILL find other work, and you WILL find a good helper for yourself (think positively!)

fully agreed with cd's reply. Why subject yourself to another problem? I don't know about rules in Singapore but in HK to fire a maid costs a lot to your pocket, and from the look of it, the possibility is high...

Believe me, it is so much less painful to rip the band-aid off now rather than down the track when she has signed a contract.

Anyone with a helper to recommend please use this section http://hongkong.asiaxpat.com/helpers/