Posted by
miao miao
16 yrs ago
i've been taking my baby to an indoor playground in the clubhouse of our complex. it's a mixed age playground visited by children ranging from crawling babies to primary schoolers, so the guardian of a younger child need be fairly careful to avoid injuries.
over time i've noticed a helper who often brings a 14-month old toddler (i know her age from her parents with whom i exchange greetings in the complex). the helper, i'll have to say, is kind of negligent in looking after the girl. she pretty much lets the girl crawl or run arount on her own while she's chatting with other helpers. a couple of weeks ago my helper told me after coming back from the playground that the girl was stamped by some running older kids and cried really hard, and that her helper was not keeping an eye on her when that happened. today i saw another accident with the girl -- she fell, HEAD DOWN, from a flight of cushioned stairs and, foretunately, there was another lady sitting three steps below her so the girl did not dash to the ground directly but rather onto that lady. when all these happened, the helper supposed to taking care the girl was sitting far away chatting and the girl was not even within her sight.
i'm really wondering whether i should mention this to the parents next time i bump into them. i really think this constitutes neglecting the child on the part of the helper. on the other hand, i don't want to be the one causing her to lose her job or something. plus, the girl seems quite attached to the helper so presumably she is doing a not bad job at home.
any thoughts? thanks
(BTW, for anyone that may have doubt, i don't mean anything general -- most of the helpers on our playground are very careful, just this particular one kind of bothers me as i'm also a parent with a baby)
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YOU'RE NOT THE ONE CAUSING HER TO LOOSE HER JOB, IT'S HER OWN CARELESS/DANGEROUS ATTITUDE WHO WILL EITHER MAKE HER LOOSE HER JOB NOW OR LOOSE IT AFTER SOMETHING REALLY REALLY REALLY BAD HAPPENS TO THAT KID !
You are not talking about a one-off second of inattention of an otherwise very serious & careful helper / parent / nanny, which should not mean she should be sacked...
You are talking of repeated problems, apparently, which actually could / may induce injuries.... this nanny seems to care more about her conversation than the kid she's supposed to mind, and will do so until :
a) someone mentions it to the parents, based on first hand experience/ testimony of the repeated problems
b) the kid is old enough to complain
c) the kids ends up in hospital with facial / cranial trauma....
Think of it the other way : what if it was YOUR kid ? Honnestly what that minder is doing (or rather not doing) is much worse than if she was swearing or smoking in front of the kid... which, in a lot of ca
For the sake of that kid, pls. do sth...
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if i was the mother of the child, i would want to know.
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Yes, I do agree with the comments above...
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You absolutely need to tell the parents and I wouldn't necessarily wait until you bump into them in the lobby. Going to the clubhouse is not break time for the helper.
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smsm
16 yrs ago
Hi, you need to inform the parents of the 14mth old asap. I would do the same if i was in ur place and would hope to be informed too if it was happening to me. I personally have told off the helpers on the spot too if I have seen them being negligent with abs young babies. Its quiet common for them to be on the phone incessantly or constantly chatting away while escorting kids to the playroom. Its kind of ok if the accompanied kids are big enough but babies, toddlers need special attention and cant be just left alone to look after themselves.
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if you could take fotos too as evidence
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Tell the girl's parents the next time you see them. Just think how awful it would be feel if you said nothing and the girl then sustained a serious injury under the 'care' of the negligent helper. I am sure the parents will be grateful for your concern and I know that as a mother, I would want to know in that situation.
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Joeuk
16 yrs ago
Yes you need to let the parents know. I think all parents would want to know if this was happening to their children. This helper is being negligent with safety and in my eyes would be dismissed straight away without a second thought. Alot of helper's taking children to play areas chat which is fine but ignoring a child of 14 month's is out of the question. My child broke his arm in a play area but my helper explained how and it just seems he fell but she was close and watching, just a freak accident. Since then that helper has been terminated for theft and I will never know really if she was telling the truth. Maybe she was chatting! It's a horrible doubt in my mind even though it happened 18 month's ago. My child recovered 100%.
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if i was a parent i'd want to know. If i was you i'd let the parents know. I think neighbours looking out for each other is a good thing.
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Me, well I would be lambasting both the helper and the parents. The helper is clearly not looking after the child and the parents should be taken to task for sending the helper down with a 14 month old into an area where there are much older kids running around. Seems to be a case of dumb and dumber.
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six
16 yrs ago
i wonder if evildeeds actually has kids?
i would talk to both the helper and the parents. i'm sure the helper puts on a great performance when the parents are around.
i actually think its always nice to let other parents know what their helpers are like when they're not around. positive or negative.
i would really want to know if my kid was being neglected so i could take appropriate action if necessary.
even better, and this is a nice habit to be in everyone, its lovely to know when your helper thought no one was looking someone spotted them playing really nicely with your child. positive feedback is wonderful, and sadly so often neglected!
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six - yes 3 and more on way - what about it?
My point is simple - if there are older kids running around in a place like that then it's not a good idea to take a 14 month old to the same place. This is simple logic. You can't put kids in cotton wool all the time, they need to explore and run around and if this place is dangerous then it is clearly not the ideal place to go.
So six, what I would actually do is tell the parents exactly how negligent their helper is but I would also dress them down and ask them why they are doing sending a 14 month old there.
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cara, fair point and I do agree, the parents of the older children do need to be dressed down. I think personally I am coming from the side that we send the daughter and helper to the local play area when kids are at school so she can run around and enjoy herself. At weekends myself and the wife will go over as we know it can be busier and will take her elsewhere if it's too busy as she needs to explore and see things for herself. If her 2 big brothers are around then she's the most protected kids around!
My point above was that it seems crazy to be taking a 14 month old when school age kids are running around - why not another time of the day? And from the OP it also seems she only see's this toddler there with the maid, not with the parents.
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Miao Miao,
I understand why you are worried that you might cause the helper her job by telling what you heard and what you saw as most of the helpers generally are from humble families and do need a job and the money for their family back home, I would have the same doubts as you of what should I do in that situation? it's nothing wrong being considerate and compassionate but that just doesn't justify the irresponsible, potentially harmful (- to that innocent toddler and their parents) behavior of that helper. She has to own up to her mistakes like everybody else.
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