DH's age.

I interviewed a prospective helper today and she ticked all the boxes. I was very impressed with her attitude and experience. We have 4 children, aged from five to 10. My only reservation is her age - the lady is in her mid-50's. I am really interested in whether people think this would be an issue or not.

This all depends on what you want her to do. My helper is 53 and I have 2 children, 4 and 8. My helper is full of energy (more than me sometimes!). But my children go to school, the 4 year old 7.30 till 12.00 so she has all morning to herself. I don't live in a huge home so the cleaning is very quick. I do all the shopping and cooking for me and the hubby but she will do the kids dinner. My helper is really active with the kids and the cleaning is always done, so I have no concerns with her age. Hope this helps.

My experience of hiring an older DH, we hired her because we are older, and she was good with pets which we have. She has past exp. also with children, has been in HK 24yrs. She said at interveiw she would prefer to work with us as she is past having patience with children ( she has 5 kids of her own and 8 grandchildren), which is fine with us ours are grown up and in the UK, We also asked about her health, she said she was very fit, never any problems, we had a comprehensive medical done anyway, which proved no problems at all. We are only 3and a half months into her contract with us, she made a real fuss about a bad cold she had which we all got, and were happy to take over the counter cold/flu powders for, she bought "back street antiobiotics-not from a DR', my husband and I both unforunately suffer from Arthritis, proved by blood tests and surgery, after having "no problems" she started buying "back street" illegal Volteran. saying she had arthritis too. Volteran is very dangerous when not prescribed, and damages the stomach. I told her she should not buy these illegal drug copies, as they can be so dangerous, She seems to want to have any illness she thinks about, and if I mention she is insured and can have tests done, then she suddenly improves, ?hypochondriac? I think. She has a very easy job with us, lots of rest, sleeps every afternoon, no kids to take/collect from school. I don't know whether it is just because she is nearly as old as we are or whether she has always been like this but it is not what she told us at interveiw and her original medical which we had done just before signing the contract (end of Nov last year). proves she is fit- however its a bit annoying having someone around who is obsessed by illness. roll on end of contract. I see lots of other Dh's her age, some with children, and they are great I think mine is just very manipulative.

I don't think that age, by itself, should stop you from hiring this helper but you do need to consider the helper's age in respect of what you expect from her. for example, I can imagine a helper of this age enjoying a job where the main duties are cooking, shopping and cleaning - with minimal childcare.


I have noticed that a number of the older helpers I have interviewed have been a little "burnt out" with child care - particularly those who have been in HK for a long time. They simply don't have the energy to bond with yet another family and enjoy the child care aspect of your job (and it is tiresome for everyone, including the helper, to see someone going through the motions when working with children). so if childcare is an important part of the job you need to assess how your helper fits with the children.


You also need to consider her work history. If she has spent a long time in HK working with small children she may need a change (eg might be better suited to working for a working couple without children, looking after animals etc). If she hasn't worked with children for a long time, does she know what she is taking on?


Also, it is always easier to go from an harder job (eg looking after a household with 3 young children to looking after a working couple who travel a lot) than vice versa. consider what you want her to do in your household with regard to what she has been doing and ask if your job is easier or harder than her previous job.


It is sometimes hard to assess these helpers who are close to the end of their careers because they present well in interviews and often don't know themselves how "over" they are with being domestic helpers. They want to stay on in HK but don't want to work as hard as they have been working - the body is willing but the spirit is weak.


If your helper is thinking of your job as her last one before she retires, it can go either way - she could find herself going through the motions because she's really wanting to be gone but wants/needs to build her nest egg before she does so or she could work really hard because the end is in sight.


Last, people in this age group tend to have more health issues than younger people - but on the positive side won't be getting pregnant!


i know many successful households who have older helpers so don't be put off just by her age but do balance her age with her work history, your expectations and her health, energy and future plans. It could work!