Posted by
USC Trojan
16 yrs ago
Recently we found a helper we really, really like. She's very kind, polite, seems hard working, and appears to be a very good match for our household.
We only have one concern... and that is her age. She is in her early 50's, and has been working as a DH in HK for about 20 years already.
She appears to be in good health, and her current employer has given her a good reference. She will finish her contract soon, and her employer will return home to the USA once the school year is out, which is the reason they will not continue to employ her themselves.
If we do hire her, we would like to employ her for several years as we don't really like changing helpers too often. So although her age doesn't seem to be an issue at the moment, we are thinking long term.
Any insights regarding her age? Does anyone have experience with helpers who are her age or even older?
Also, any limitations or restrictions as far as immigration or insurance policies are concerned?
Many thanks!
Please support our advertisers:
dasia
16 yrs ago
i agree with beancurd. Our helper is in her mid 50's and is agile, responsible and reliable. She climbs the ladder to clean areas out of her reach, has tons of energy and seems never to tire.
If she is healthy and has good references I would prefer to take her on rather than an unknown younger person.
Please support our advertisers:
it depends on what you need her to do - we have a 45 year old and she is fine doing work around the house and cooking etc - tho she does say every now and then that she is tired and back hurts etc even tho we dont really ask her to do much at all - we have 2 helpers. but i find that running after our two 3-year olds is another issue - she gets very tired - as indeed do I! Our other helper is 26 - and what a different story - she is never tired! So, think about it from the point of view of what you need her to do....
Please support our advertisers:
Thanks everyone... very sensible advice so far. Oh, yes, I forgot to mention we don't have any kids, and have no plans in the near future to change that. I suppose we were just seeking a bit of re-assurance.
Speaking of which... (and this may sound terrible) but would it be possible to ask her to have a medical check-up BEFORE she starts to work for us? We would be willing to cover the cost, of course. I'm not anticipating any serious health issues, but due to her age, we were thinking especially of her heart, etc.
Is there a tactful way to go about doing this?
Please support our advertisers:
hi, we are in a similar situation ie. a couple with no kids, but do entertain.
our helper is in her early 50's and i would have to say think carefully before you hire her. whilst she may be more mature, she is not very sensible (common sense wise) and is unable to change the way she does things. she will listen, say yes 'mam', and then go back to what she is being used to - this is still the case even though she has been with us for more than 1 year. also, our helper doesn't notice stains on clothes, and is quite slow at doing things....
the above is not meant to be a criticism but more a statement of fact. previously we have had helpers who were younger (though in their late 30's or early 40s), where you can see a difference.
do have the medical checkup - you can ask her to do that and ask her directly. if she's been in HK that long, she should know these are things you are entitled to ask.
the
Please support our advertisers:
Yes, that is another issue that we were wondering about... while we like the fact that she is very experienced and stable, we are a bit concerned that it might be difficult for her to make changes.
Thanks for the kind responses! Very helpful.
Please support our advertisers:
I also had an older helper (50s) who was good in character, trustworthy etc, but definatley slower, also more medical problems (even if insured that's more time off where you need to arrange things childcare etc yourself), and easily tired etc. While priority is with character, I would say under 35 is better. They work a long day and older ladies struggle, as would I if I had worked 20 yrs as a helper. Also after 20 yrs as a helper, she definatley was set in her way and not happy/willing to change, and was obviously tired of being a maid and answering to employers, even though she was good and hardworking, you could see this. And in terms of initiative she would only do what she was told, so if the cupboard were a big mess, she wouldn't use her initiative to organise it as she wasn't told too, but I feel this was becasue of 20 yrs of working she didn't want to get in trouble for not doing what she was told. My point is, enthusiasiam also dies after doing a job for 20 years! Good luck!
Please support our advertisers:
"Speaking of which... (and this may sound terrible) but would it be possible to ask her to have a medical check-up BEFORE she starts to work for us? We would be willing to cover the cost, of course. I'm not anticipating any serious health issues, but due to her age, we were thinking especially of her heart, etc."
Asking for a check-up is completely normal.
"Is there a tactful way to go about doing this?"
Since this is a normal procedure for helpers of any age, I doubt she will be offended.
Please support our advertisers:
Thanks all! We appreciate everyone's replies so far.
Sounds like having her health checked before she starts should be a non-issue, and we will do so before signing, if we decide to proceed.
The main issue seems to be coping with changes for an "older" helper.
So, just wondering if anyone has personally had sucess in having an older helper adjust to a new working environment and adapt to a new employer's style of doing things?
Please support our advertisers:
I think you do have to be careful of attitude problems with older helpers. As mentioned they are often quite set in there ways and are also less enthusiastic about work. I had an older helper who had worked in HK for a long time before I got here and really did the bare minimum. She did not like to be told how to do things and continued to do everything how she wanted to regardless of whether that was how I wanted it. She also would not take criticism even though she was quite rough and careless in the way she worked. Finally she snapped at me that she did not like me telling her how to do things because I was younger than her!!! She knew this when I employed her - moreover at 46 years old chances are most employers would be younger than her.
I fired here because I could not put up with the attitude any longer. Not saying all older women are like this but I know if I ever need to employ a helper again I would go for someone younger and more humble.
Please support our advertisers:
How old is too old? Because your helper is older than you (the employer), you should appreciate that she has the life experience of looking after your family. She probably has a family of her own, already grown up, (maybe her kids are older than you too!), but for sure if she's well referenced you won't go far wrong.
Remember this is Hong Kong, not your home country (if applicable) & discriminating against age, race, colour, creed or religion is against the law - Unless of course you adapt that unique Hong Kong colloquialism; "Over Qualified", which seems to be the current acceptable excuse for rejecting anyone over fifty. Employ her, otherwise you will regret it, then someone else will benefit from your dithering about here! She has made her sacrifices, more than you & I will ever be prepared to make. She is a human being & deserves to be treated as one!
Please support our advertisers:
"More often than not, the problem is that the employer has no experience with DHs. So they don't know how to deal with helpers."
Very true. I would even say that many employers have no management experience at all.
"I always wonder why a healthy 30 y.o. expat lady in a smallish apartment needs a DH anyway, even if she has a full-time job."
"Need" is perhaps overstating it. ;) Helpers are a luxury for most people, as in they could manage without. But since they can afford one they grant themselves this luxury. As the deals are structured, having a helper is actually much more cost effective than having a part time cleaner and a part time nanny.
And yes, I know there are some families that really do need helpers, or nannies, or whatever, so that two people can go to work.
Please support our advertisers:
neilbparker, save your angry toned sermon. You know nothing of my age, household, or the helper I'm referring to. Have you even read my OP or other comments? Why would you think anyone who has posted so far is discriminating in any way? Do you actually have any experience hiring a helper over 50 years old?
jardine johnnie, I think various employers have their own entitlements. Although I am not an expat, nor a 30 year old, nor female, nor do I live in a small flat, I think a "30 y.o. expat lady in a smallish apartment" can hire a helper if she wants to, and I'm pretty sure most helpers would love to work for her.
axptguy38, your lenghty, tedious quotes from other people's comments followed by your own quick summary (which seems to occur on nearly every single thread) do not add any credibility whatsoever to their words, and are in fact tiresome.
Thank you.
Please support our advertisers:
USC Trojan, you asked for advice on the forum. People have offered it. If you did not want the advice, why did you post in the first place?
Please support our advertisers:
axpatguy38, I am seeking advice on this thread regarding hiring a helper over 50 years of age. If anyone has any experience hiring such a helper, I would welcome their advice.
I myself have no experience hiring a helper over 50 years of age, which is precisely why I am seeking helpful advice from those who have.
Some people have been kind enough to offer their insights based on their own experiences with employing an "older" helper, and I have already sincerely thanked them for it.
That said, I'm having trouble finding any advice related to personal experience employing a helper over 50 years of age in the comments so far on this thread from neilbparker, jardine johnnie or your good self.
Thanks.
Please support our advertisers:
Fair point. However the phenomenon of thread drift is somewhat unavoidable in these kinds of forums, and often leads to new and useful information.
Back to he topic at hand. I would say that it depends completely on the person. There are 50 year olds who can run their juniors ragged, and 50-year olds who are a bit "tired". Attitude is a big thing. Some people "behave old" and some do not.
Personally, if a 50 year-old seems active and young at heart, I wouldn't worry about her age for another 10 years at least. Of course, health problems are more likely with more advanced age, but I would take that small risk for the right helper.
Please support our advertisers:
Thanks axptguy38. Point taken about "thread drift". I am however seeking pretty specific advice here, and I would prefer it to be based on actual first-hand experience rather than purely opinion, as that would be more practical and useful to me. All comments related to the OP are welcomed though, and I hope others may find it helpful too.
Please support our advertisers:
First hand it is (although at one remove; hang on that's second hand...): Our neighbor has a helper who is over 60. She is energetic, cheerful and good with their kids. They are perfectly happy with her. I have certainly seen thirty-year-olds who move slower. ;)
Please support our advertisers:
Thanks all!
Yes, as I mentioned, we like this helper and the fact that she has lots of experience. We are just concerned that she might have difficulty coping with change. We also don't like changing helpers too often, and all our previous helpers have stayed for several contracts. So we really are thinking long term, and in her case, this may mean towards 60 years of age or even beyond.
Which brings me to a hurdle I encountered just this morning. I've been calling various insurance companies, and it seems none of them are willing to cover a helper more than 60 years of age. Does anyone know of an insurance company which will cover helpers beyond 60? Please share the name of the company if you know of one. Thanks.
Please support our advertisers:
Our last helper was about to turn fifty and when we first took her on we definitely chose to go with an older more experienced helper. However its like with everything there's pros and cons....the pros they know the job inside out - where to buy everything at the best price, how to run the house without being reminded to change bedding etc on certain days but the downside is definitely the attitude. Of course this will not apply to every post 50 helper but ours certainly had a level of defiance if asked to cook something different or do something a different way. It sounds petty but there were occasions when I wanted her to vary the diet of my 3 year old but I was made to feel like I was being overly fussy as 'he wouldn't eat it'. In the end I found myself giving up for a quiet life then feeling guilty that he was always eating the same thing!
Well she has now left and we decided to go younger this time. It all comes down to balance between experience/skills/attitude and energy levels. I don't think you can rule out anybody purely on age though but having said that did notice that the older helpers I interviewed recently all seemed to have a certain 'edge' and cynicism. Maybe its just too many years being a helper rubs off? I don't know it can't be easy living in someone else's household.
Please support our advertisers:
You must be logged in to be able to reply.
Login now
Copy Link
Facebook
Gmail
Mail