xtra rooms

ok, so we just moved to a new house along with a filipino married couple that have worked for us for two years now....the house is quite spacious by HK standards...there is a miniscule helpers room off of the kitchen as well as a more decent room with bunk beds off of the garage that allows for more privacy...it is quite small as well.

We only have two kids, so one of the more traditional bedrooms is up for grabs as well...it is far bigger than either of the helper rooms, but still small, though in the midst of our living space

Here is the problem...my husband asked the male helper which room they would prefer and he said that he would prefer the garage room (more private) but he knew his wife would prefer the room inside our house(not the "helper room", but the proper bedroom). As we are moving our belongings into our new place it is becoming clear that our helpers are staking out their territory in all three rooms. This is irritating as we hardly have storage for out own things and now feel as though they feel all of this space belongs to them! Tonight they were hanging out in the garage room and my husband confronted them about the fact that this was not the room that they chose.... our helpers response was that they had not decided which room they really wanted.

I am annoyed that in the midst of this move we have had this holdiay which has complicated everything...but in our previous house they were in a "proper"room and used the kitchen "helper room" as their hangout. The garage room in our new place is yet another place where they could put their things, but my husband feels that they need to make a choice, I am confused!!

Any advice would be so appreciated!!

You need to sit down with them and talk about it, today. While you gave them choice, they are clearly overstepping their bounds. At the moment, it seems they have little respect for your wishes.


Inform them about which room they will have. If you gave them a choice, tell them they need to decide now. Tell them they should move their stuff out of any other rooms. Also tell them that you feel they are abusing the privilege of choosing a room that you gave them.


If the situation doesn't improve, give them a formal warning. While it is good to give them as much choice as you can, in the end it is your house and you set the rules. If they don't heed warnings, you may have no choice but to terminate them.

I agree with axptguy. As the homeowner you definitely can define the rules. Your husband was being nice in offering the choice, but being nice is different from being "abused".

With our previous helper, we had this problem where she came to us with very little baggage but then in the course of the year, she ended up accumulating a lot of stuff and this spilled over into our space. Specifically, she crammed a lot of her things into the big wardrobe in our baby's room. (I didn't realize at first b/c a lot of it were clothing and she put them in big vaccum packed bags which she stuffed at the back and under my baby's clothing.) Needless to say, when I found out, I was not happy.


With our new helper and our new home, I have established that the helper's room is her space and we even spent money making extra built-in cupboards to maximize her storage space. So she is welcome to do whatever she wants with it (so long as it doesn't contravene fire and safety regulations!) but she should not exceed it. (Obviously she can store her food in the kitchen...)


I've learned that it is important to set the rules first and play nice later. That way, there are no unpleasant surprises for anyone.

Wake up; you (or your employer) are paying the rent, not the helpers, so it is your house.


Helpers are ere employess, not housemates or friends. There are no rooms "up for grabs", merely those to be allocated amongst family and helpers as you and your spouse decide.


Yes treat helpers with respect and dignity and look after them, and of course give them a larger room if you want to make them more comfortable, but this is your decision, not theirs.