Posted by
kilwinning
15 yrs ago
Hi there,
Need some info/ comparisons. We have a 2 month old in the house and my husband/ I have always been doing the through the night feeds. However, this is destroying our sleep and we hardly have the energy to entertain our other 2.5 year old daughter. On the other hand, my helper is getting 8+ hours of sleep (from 10pm to 7:30am) and isn't ready to work until 8am or later as she has a shower (she has 2/ day), etc. Sometimes my husband and I don't even have time to get a shower in the morning! This time of day is a crunch time with all of us trying to get ready and out the door and our helper is upstairs eating breakfast/ having a shower. So we are going to ask our helper to do the one nighttime feed and give her an official starting time in the morning too. Saying this, what time do you think is reasonable to ask her to start work in the morning if she has to do a night feed that lasts a max of 30 minutes and she can go to bed from 8pm onwards...? Thanks.
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Joeuk
15 yrs ago
I don't think that asking for a help with a night time feed is wrong at all. You have hired someone to help and thats what she should do. I think that you should give her a start time according to your family start time. My children get up at 7.00 for school so my helper gets up at 6.30 to get ready and is always around to get kids up and ready. My helper will then go to her room at 7.30 - 8.00pm, but she has no children for most of the day and has plenty of time to herself. This is just how it has worked out for us and we have never had to give start or finish time she sorted it herself. Be reasonable and think about what hours would suit you, if you ask too much she will get tired and you could get more problems with slack work etc. Hope this helps.
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ceeh
15 yrs ago
You mention "This time of day is a crunch time with all of us trying to get ready and out the door"... Do you mean that both you and your husband work and the helper is home with the 2 month old and the 2.5 year old all day?
If that is the case I consider it unreasonable for the helper to break her sleep during the night and then care for a small child as well as a baby during the day.
Also have to consider what was discussed when you hired the helper but you never know - put it to her and see whether she agrees or not. You will never know if you don't ask!
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there are 3 bedrooms on one of the floors of our village house. Each child has a bedroom and our helper has her own room on the same floor so she does not share with a child. I do not work and I am the kids' main caregiver. I never leave both kids with our helper alone as it is a lot of work. When I say "crunch time", I mean trying to get myself and 2 kids dressed, fed and packed up for playdates, school, etc by 9am. It's hard to do all this when a 2 month old is screaming and I have a rebellious toddler running around. Anyhow, I'll experiment with the schedule and see what works best for everyone. She will still get 8+ hours of sleep, but she will need to be up approx. 30 minutes each night. My helper seems to need a lot of sleep so it will be interesting to see how this change affects her productivity and demeanor!
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cd
15 yrs ago
I think its perfectly resonable to give your helper a set time to start, say 7am, and for her to have her shower and breakfast at a later time, say a break from 9 - 10 so that she's around for the busy morning time. Then maybe give her a proper lunchbreak, then a tea break, but have her work into the evening a bit longer, as evenings are usually then second busiest time.
And I know I'll probably get some negative feedback on this but personally I would never have wanted my helper to feed the baby, the children are and always were our responsibility. My helpers always had minimum input with them when they were small. But if you want her to, then suggest you go down Caras route and have a rota.
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I think it is totally reasonable to give start time. However I do not agree that your helper should help out at night. People hire night nurses for it and pay a LOT of money for them. So i would suggest that you get one of those - maybe for a month or so until the middle of the night feed is dropped. you can of course ask your helper if she would like to help you out and offer to pay her extra. Otherwise, it is your baby, not your helper's, why should she get up in the middle of the night. we had a night nanny for 4 months - was worth every cent. I would not ask my helper to do that.
As for the helper sleeping with the baby, well, I would be seriously against it. No sleep for the helper and a bad habit that is hard to shake off later for the baby
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Thanks for all your replies. My original question was about a starting time, not about whether it's right or wrong to have my helper do an early morning feed. This a personal choice and to each his own. I will chat with her about an appropriate starting time. I'd like to end the thread on this note. Cheers.
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What are the usual hours for a helper, is 7-8.30 ok with a 90min break during the day or is this unreasonable? and occassionally later if my husband and I go out for dinner say 10pm?
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Thank you, I have just arrived in HK and 1st time helper, the helper has been with us for 2weeks, she is asking for holidays in advance after she returned from the Philippines and payment for her toiletries etc, and since I have saidI am having a bit trouble, I just want to be able to sit her down and have everything in writing and be reasonable. At the moment she doesn't cook or clean up dishes etc, so she wants to put my daughter to bed at 6pm so she can finish and my daughter is not ready to go to bed and then wakes up at 10am. So in short I just want to ensure that I am not being unreasonable.
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FKKC
15 yrs ago
I also have the feeling this new helper of yours is trying to rule and run your household. Better sit her down to talk before things get out of hand. Have an open mind but don't give in to something you don't feel right or uncomfortable with.
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yes, all very true, at the moment I feel very uncomfortable being at home, she wont talk to me and I have to ask for things to be done she says NO it doesn't need to be done!
Thank you for all your feedback.
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written warnings and let her countersign with witnesses if possible.
then give her a written list or handbook of her duties and what you expect her to do and not do. (yes, let her countersign that too)
not only are you the boss, you are also paying for her services.
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kelsta
Your helper is clearly taking advantage of you and the fact that you are new to HK. Firstly it is not required under the contract, nor is it common practice, for employers to pay for toiletries for the helper.
If she is not even able to wash the dishes after meals what on earth is she doing all day??? She is obviously very slow and inefficient or else lazy.
I saw your other post regarding the leave in advance and that also clearly indicates she is trying to take advantage of you. She is only entitled to 7 days annual leave which is payable after 1 years service not in advance. If I were you I would get rid of her and start again. Unfortunately you have to be really strict with Filippinas -most will do as little as they can get away with and will try to get as much out of you as they possibly can.
As to hours many helpers start early (7am) and finish late after dinner but have reasonable breaks in between. In most households it is not necessary for them to work the whole day constantly. If your child is at school she could get up get everything organised then take a breakfast/shower break after the child leaves.
You are not being unreasonable. Even with babysitting till 10pm it is fine as the child is probably asleep and the helper lives in anyway so you are really not overworking her. She will probably be happy to watch your tv, lie on your sofa and use your phone while you are out!!
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