Suspect dh doesn't wash hands

Hi,

Our dh has been with us for over a year and is generally OK. However, one thing is really bugging me...I don't think she washes her hands after using the toilet. The reason I think this is that the same bar of soap sat by the sink in her room for a year until we moved, and was never touched. There were definitely no other hand-cleaning products in there. Now we're in our new place she's using the spare bathroom, and again, definitely isn't using the soap.

I suppose she may be using the kitchen hand wash, but I don't know how to find out without asking her, which seems kind of awkward. However, with her touching my baby and preparing our food, it would be really horrible if she doesn't wash her hands!

Any advice on how to tackle the subject with her??

Thanks!

Agreed with cara. Be delicate, but the message must be clear. You can sort of skirt the issue by saying she must wash hands thoroughly before any food preparation and before holding baby.


By the way pee is antiseptic so it isn't really a hygiene issue. It's #2 you have to be careful with.

I am reminded of the saying that common sense is not so very common.

axptguy38 are you a full time stay home dad? do you work, if you don't mind me asking? I am looking for part-time work maybe in the near future but was wondering how it feels to be home all the time? Do you look after your kids most of the time?

Yes I am a stay at home dad. I also do some consulting work on the side and I have some other projects that may bear fruit financially in the future. Keeps me busy at least part time but not at all like a full time job.


How does it feel? Well it varies from person to person. I know people who have been at home 6 months and are itching to get back to work. Others, like me, are ok with the stay at home pace (which, with a helper and in HK, tends to be pretty chilled out). Some feel they "must" work from a sense of duty but would rather stay home. Some are pressured into working by their wives. ;) It depends on your personality and how it works within your family. My wife is totally ok with it. No piercing looks or trying to make me guilty about something. It is important to be frank with each other about what you want and how you feel. Also, you must be realistic about the financial realities.


Another thing to think about is not letting yourself go. The wife might not be so pleased if you are still wearing your dressing gown and three days of stubble when she gets home in the evening. Also, having a Martini for lunch every day is not ok just because one is at home. One should wait until at least 3pm. ;) I jest but all these things come into play.


As for the kids, well, our helper does a lot of the heavy lifting with them. I do all the grocery shopping and other errands, as well as taking the kids to and from school.

I must admit you have a pretty chilled attitude, which is great! Sorry, I digress from the original thread. What sort of consulting do you do? I find people's self-esteem these days has become everything to do with earning which is so sad. It's good to know there are ppl like you, what do you do all day?And how old are you? I ask because I find it pretty challenging to stay at home and feel the world is leaving me behind pursuing the rat race!

And yes I do suspect my helper often doesn't wash her hands after using the toilet and even worse she uses our towels, even when I have told her not to.

I do computer consulting. If your PC is broken, I can fix it. ;) Or I can build you one or whatever.


"I find people's self-esteem these days has become everything to do with earning which is so sad."


True, there are a lot of people like that but many aren't.


"I ask because I find it pretty challenging to stay at home and feel the world is leaving me behind pursuing the rat race!"


If you are a man, there are certainly many potential employers who would frown at your CV if there is a 2-4 year gap labeled "stayed at home". This is unfortunate. It is one of the realities of being a stay at home dad and needs to be carefully considered.

I bought a re-fillable liquid handsoap dispenser. I wrote on it with a permanent black markers. "Hand soap Please Use" and made a smile face.

This way I have put out notice that I have the expectation that ANYONE who uses the bathroom will use the soap.