Dishonest Helpler

I recently suspect my helper steal money. so one day i purposely counted how much money in my husband's wallet. he always forget to put the wallet, always leave it lying around in the living room. after have counted how much, i wrote it down on the paper in case i forgot how much i've counted. then i went to sleep, when i woke up i counted it again, it is the same as last night, so i went out, then when i returned i counted it again, $20 dollars was missing. My husband said he didn't touch the wallet until i found out this. it's only $20, but each day take $20. how much would it be??? and how would you sort this case it if you were me?


thank you.

Hebe

I have a similar problem, my helper takes lots of things out of my cupbaords, and more personal things like art materials, and my prescription drugs and uses them herself. As I have no photographic evidence or hidden cameras, it is difficult to prove, I just know she has been taking things. I now take my handbag upstairs with me at night, and have locked my prescription drugs up. I have told her she must not take anything out of my cupboards, and she must ask if she wants to use anything, however this doesn't work for long, she reverts back to 'petty thieving'.

It is almost as if she thinks because she lives here it is her God given right to take and use, and lend out anything she fancies. It is so annoying that I have locked so many things away. We are at the point of dismissing her very soon, and I have just written to immigration to find out if it is possible and legal for us to ask her to leave the house when she is working her notice, if I could find rock solid evidence (like a vidoe-actually taking the stuff)provable to the police and immigration, I know I could diismiss her 'on the spot", but without this we can only give her a months notice, and she will probably take more while still in our house.

My only advice I could give you Hebe is a hidden video cam, you can buy them in Sham shui Po, I thought about it but haven't got there to buy one yet, as I'm a bit worried about going there on my own,if you catch her red handed taking the stuff you can dismiss her immediately, you just need to report it to the police then and immigration, and pay her air fare home. Have you checked if she is taking other things? Our little theif has been operating for months now, bits here and there, but it does get you a little paranoid after a while, having to lock so many things up, and I don't even feel like booking any holidays anymore, because I know she will have taken all sorts of things, she has a good root in high cupbaord while we are away, so I've chained the step ladders up now.

Hi Cara, It is because I don't know that area too well and I don't speak any mandarin or chinese, and I would need to be able to have it explained how the cams work and record.

if you feel technically challenged to go to ssp then maybe try pccw's service as a start.


http://pccweasywatch.imsbiz.com/en/


PCCW EasyWatch provides a one-stop, easy-to-use, remote monitoring and communications package that enables customers to keep an eye on home or business premises effectively and with the utmost convenience. Our tailor-made camera with remotely-operated pan-tilt-and-zoom function provides total control, one-button recording and a unique choice

of access platforms enabling users to keep a watchful eye from

anywhere at any time.

A helper is supposed to help you not to give you stress....if you feel uncomfortable with her behaviour, you should dismiss her with a month's pay in lieu of notice which I've noted was also advised by Greenvalleys.

It would be unwise to give notice to any helper and let her stay the month if the trust is gone.

hi Susie


thanks for sharing the similar story with me. I've thought to go to Sham Shui Poo, but it seem too late to do this now, i would get one when i get the new helper and would tell the new helper clearly so she won't tempt to steal.

for my present helper, actually, when we came back from holiday two weeks ago, i found her have thrown a bag of my old clothes away. firstly she said i 've asked her to do so then she said she thought i didn't like it so she threw away. Also she didn't clean the house properly while we were away e.g.stove, ventilation in the kitchen, didn't tidy up clothes in my children draws....only did what we told her. we gave her $500 to buy things for the house urgently but she also spent it for her own foods, i already gave her $400 each month plus eat with us.

I never like to have a helper, i like to do things myself and feel so free at home on my own.. that's why i had a part time one before, but my husband always argue with me and prefer to have a full time and i'm so angry with him for trusting helper so much, how come you can trust someone you totally don't know her, she is a stranger......i am angry because she must had search everything while we were away......if i get a new one next time, i will absolutely make a lock in my bedroom. but now too late to do it with this helper.

I really think that not having a helper is the best way to go, that is, if your circumstance allow for it. It's just too much stress and hassle dealing with cases as discussed in this thread.


Again, after having said that, I love and so thankful for the help our FDHs provide for us. In my family's case where blessed with a not perfect but a good one.

yes, i understand no perfect helper, they don't earn alot of money, compare to those who earn like $25 per hour in a resturant with non-stop standing and servicing customer. sometimes i'd think they're being spoiled, for part-time helper they get $50 or $60 per hour. for full-time, we provide food and accommodation, she doesn't work all day long, as my children will be in school. she doesn't wash car each day, no need to mop the floor every day.....i don't understand why she steal money......i'm so regret not to have lock in the bedroom, she must has seen all our document. she must know our signature, our bank account....... i am already keeping my eyes on my checkbook, what else can she do if she want to steal money except from the wallet?? does anyone know, i'm so scared.......your advice will be so appreciated!!!


Hebe

Not trusting your helper this way and being made paranoid by it is not healthy. You need to fire her and maybe stop hiring helpers altogether, it's going to give you peace of mind. Can you live without a helper?


However, ask yourself this: How much was on the wallet initially? Why did she steal only 20$? Is she going to escalate to stealing thousands or millions?

you could hire a cantonese speaking helper in the meantime until you get over the fdh trust issues or transition between helpers


http://hongkong.asiaxpat.com/forums/hong-kong-domestic-help/threads/129753/hiring-a-cantonese-domestic-helper/

Hi Punter


I don't work since my first child was born. she is now 6 and her sister is 3. I have lived without helper before. It was sept last year when my younger child had started full-time school, and we moved into a smaller house. for privacy plus i don't work so i discussed with my husband not to hire a full-time. so we gave a very nice reference letter for her to leave. she's happy. Then we have a part-time come 4-5 times for few hrs each week. actually we paid nearly full-time money but we don't mind and i thought we can manage, then not long later when Christmas and CNY holidays arrived so the children off school then my husband complaint that i couldn't manage well plus later on they started to have other after-school activities. so we've no choice but to get full-time again from this June until now. sometimes i feel very relax with the help of the helper as she play with the children when i have enough of them but sometimes when they're in school, i don't like her to be in the house, so i always ask my helper finish your jobs quickly then you can go to library or...so i really don't know what i want. full-time and part-time also have their own good things.


i know it's only $20. at the time she took $20 because my husband's wallet only have 100 and 3 pieces of $20. so i think by taking $20 won't notice. i think if he had 3 or 4 pieces of $100. she might choose $100. but anyway, she might has been doing this for sometimes, nobody know.


Wiz Band, thanks for your info. i'll check it out.


Hebe