How can I hire a good helper?

Help! My last helper was dishonest and I terminated her contract. I went out once a week as we'd agreed before i hired her and i'd come home and find the kids up and she was asleep with her door closed. The kids said she told them to go to bed and she said they were asleep when she went to bed. My kids are in primary and pre-school!! It kept happening. there were other lies happening and she was getting bolder and bolder! she seemed nice, was educated and had a great reference. in retrospect, she complained about her last job. do u think that's a sign that she would have been unhappy with me/my job too? ugh. it's so hard to hire someone honest, pleasant and reliable. If you can give me advice on how to find the best helper, I'd be very grateful! I feel unsure about what to do. i belive i should meet her and then if i like her, let the kids meet her. do you agree? any other advice?

Evelyn can help http://hongkong.asiaxpat.com/helpers/

Thanks!!

Hi

I have worked out a rule that maximised my chance of getting a good helper. Basically I would not consider or interview ANYONE unless I could speak on the PHONE direct to the current/last employer first. This narrowed the field down by about 95% or more to the genuinely good ones - which is what you want. Of course you need to be fast acting on these ones as they understandably get hired quickly. Then you can ask a list of VERY specific questions that you have really thought about in advance to see if the helper could be right for you. I see lots of people hiring the wrong person and getting disappointed because they never asked the right questions and were not specific enough. eg don't ask if they are a good cook and whether they can do 'Western' and 'Chinese' food etc. I’m using cooking as an example here as I am a foodie but of course your list would be all about kids :-)


Our first helper's employer said she was a good Western cook and when we hired her she was completely hopeless in the kitchen and could not cook ANYTHING to an edible level. Everyone has very different ideas of 'good'. So even a conversation with an employer is far from foolproof UNLESS you really work on the questions. Instead, ask them to tell you names of dishes they like to cook and where do they buy the ingredients, what method do they use to make the dish, could they cook for a dinner party, just how many different ways can they cook chicken* (insert your favourite ingredient here) etc etc. Only that will tell you what you want to know. This kind of detailed questions will also quickly flag to you if the person giving the reference is their genuine employer or just their mate helping them get a job. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I honestly can’t see how I could accidentally employ anyone who was even slightly dodgy or dishonest - if their genuine employer tells me direct on the phone that they can trust all their precious things and all their money to that person and never have to lock anything. Of course someone who was previously an angel COULD decide to become dishonest or lazy or whatever overnight but it’s unlikely if they have been working for 2 years plus for someone and never done wrong. I found it easy on Asiaxpat to get a very short shortlist of good prospects as the good helpers had a phone number on the written reference(attached to the web posting if available) of their employer or it was available once I called the Asiaxpat agency or the helper. I did not even look at the rest, which sadly is a lot. And I know that in some cases that means a good helper is missed when a bad employer does not supply a good reference that is deserved. But to have someone living in my HOME who’s last employer would not even TALK to me...hmmm...just not a risk I would consider taking. Of course the other side of this is that you need to sell yourself and your wonderful family and how fair and good an employer you will be up front. If they do a good job (be specific on what that means), tell them what benefits you will give them at the interview. Even if you can’t offer extra bonus money, offer extra 2 weeks holiday instead etc. You need to offer fair and good benefits – if you want a really good helper to choose you. And the good ones DO have a choice on who they work for.

I would never expect any agency to be able to know if a potential helper was honest or not. How on earth do they know? Even if an agency does vouch for someone, to not establish this definitively MYSELF to ensure my family members/possessions are safe should be considered a big risk. This is not aimed at you but I am very surprised when so many people expect an agency to automatically supply a hard working trustworthy person with a genuine list of skills for you to meet. Well in a perfect world that might happen. How would they know unless they had spent time on the phone with current employer? Of course this would then mean they would have very very few helpers on their books and so no business profit so it’s never going to get done that way.

Going back to the cooking example, when you interview the helper, think of specific ingredients you use that you don’t get in Wellcome or P&S and ask them where they would get them? They may not know at all, but if they say, “well I would try here, there, this deli, call my friend who knows” etc then you know they can at least solve the problem and be left to get on with it. Anyway, you get my drift, think of many real world examples that apply to you your family situation and your’e in business. Don’t try the one I tried from interviews in the UK which is “what would you say are your good points” DIRECTLY as this is excruciating for them to praise themselves directly like this. Oops. The poor prospective helper was squirming in discomfort and looked in serious pain to try and answer. Just not Asian way. You need to be indirect as possible in getting the real answer !


For our current helper, her employer effectively interviewed ME as a prospective employer to make sure I was suitable to have her wonderful helper. Then I knew I was on the right track...I now have a wonderful helper who is not only a good cook but really LOVES to cook. For us, apart from a bit of cleaning, this was the most important thing to us. I knew she was the one when her employer told me that...

Also, it helped me find out the few things she wasn't fantastic at in advance, which were really very minor, so even that was not a problem or disappointment at all as it was not a surprise when she started working. I was told she did not have the best memory, but that if you wrote everything down for her she would ALWAYS do it. So that is exactly what I did when she arrived, and from day 1 she did a perfect job as I had already found out how she works, what makes her tick. No weeks of disappointment and re-training, communication issues or confusion. I just asked her employer who had worked with her for seven years how she likes to work, how she likes instructions, how do you resolve problems with her, when she likes breaks, etc etc and so the transition to us could not have been easier.

I have a doc which lists ALL household chores with frequency. What needs cleaning with what product and when etc. Precise expectations, no confusion. Also, my helper knows that once that days chores are done, she can go play, sleep etc and not be concerned that we need her to do anything. I never have to remind her to do something, it's all there in black and white. So some very specific questions on literacy is key or this would not work of course!

Good luck.

make sure before you sign the formal contract with her, make a written document of items that both of you discussed and agreed upon like pay, pay rise, vacation leaves, transportation and food allowances, chores, include rules like your stance on vale or providing advance loans, working hours, usage of phone, dress code etc.


make sure the new helper reads it, understands it and have her sign it with a neutral witness present.


and yes, it would be good if she has your manual of house rules and chores as sarah jane has made before the contract is made so she knows what to expect and again minimizing her making up allegations that it wasn't in the contract or wasn't agreed upon.


you want to make everything clear from the very beginning without her having room to make up stories or very minimal room for making up stories later on.


ps. i have heard cases wherein helpers give the prospective employer the number of their ex employer but it turned out to be the number of one of their friends. so make sure you are talking to the right person.

Thanks very much guys!

I've interviewed 3 and have one more to go.

So far, 2/3 are possible dh's for me. Thanks everyone. I weeded most out over the phone or from several phone calls...

We are now processing papers for a lovely helper. Thanks so much everyone!! I am very excited to get a new start and I feel so relieved! SHe had a great reference and my familiy feels we can trust her. It's just too bad though that we aren't allowed to test them out, but I prefer to follow the rules than risk getting in trouble and will hopefully be able to teach her whatever she doesn't know. I'm told the YWCA has courses for helpers in cooking, etc.

Sarah Jane, I have also had this experience of hiring a helper and being told she was a great cook or great at ironing or cleaning and found out I did not agree at all. For me though, I've found that finding someone who is also a middle aged mother, who smiles, tries and is flexible is the best thing for me, especially since I am around most of the time. I'm afraid I'm too insecure to have a young single hottie who dresses provocatively and I'd feel too guilty about hiring someone my mother's age in failing health, so whether it is right or not, I believe we have to find someone who suits us best and who we will be most comfortable with. having someone in your home is just such a personal and possibly emotional thing.