Posted by
squirrel66
15 yrs ago
My helper has been working for us for 10 years. Recently i have noticed that some personal items have disappeared. Even my children have complained of disappearing stuff, such as cds, gameboy games..I have called immigration and asked if i can look in her room. The officer said it would be best not to even if technically there is no rule against it and i should file a report with the police. A quick peek in her bathroom revealed part of the missing items. She is coming back in a week. Any suggestions? Confront her of course but how do i prove she took the stuff? Taking photos could work but she could say i planted the stuff. Threaten her with a police report? if i don't i might have to pay long service unless i make her sign a statement as to the effect that she is leaving . Any ideas for the best course of action?
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dont get into her room and dont remove the items! there's another thread of someone who just did that and thereby screwed it up.
file a police report and ask them to come by to open the door when she is back
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I agree with Cookie09, you must wait till she is back and get the police then, let them deal with it.
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actually thinking about it and given that she has been with you for 10 years, i would suggest the following:
1. report the loss to the police
2. once she is back, tell her that you are missing a few items and ask her whether she can look for them
3. if she doesn't 'find' them, call the police to open her door to catch her red handed
doing step 2 at least gives her a chance, which i think is fair after 10 years
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If she just 'finds' them again, or says she has just 'borrowed' these missing things, would you feel you can still trust her?, Also if you ask her about missing items it gives her the chance to think up a story!
10 years or 10 days- she is still a thief, and needs to be dealt with in the proper way, to face the consequence of her actions, if you are too lenient someone else in HK will end up with her.
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Are the stuff did disappear and was not thrown as rubbish? Has the gameboy games not given to her by your kids?
I'm aware of employers who disgard still usable items in the trash, and some helpers would take and keep them. Others would tell their employer, but as far as I know, not everyone did. Also I know some wards could be kind to their nannies and would give their stuff to their nannies for her kids.
Unless you could say, without a doubt that they were indeed missing then as Susie said....10 years or 10 days does not matter. Stealing is stealing.
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Thank you all for taking the time. Some stuff has definitely disappeared, there is no doubt about it. And why would my 14 year old give her GB games? no, i asked my daughter and my helper doesn't even have a GB. Honestly i am starting to wonder if she is a cleptomaniac because the stuff that has disappeared is indeed not the most obvious choice for a theft. Toiletries, such as deodorant and hair products, medicines, sunscreen and hairclips {???}then we move on to a bikini...silk pochettes from jim thompson, a silver plated photo frame and then biscuits and food bought for my daugter's birthday party for which i specifically asked becfore her departure...and the answer was" no, there isn't anything left"...as if i didn't know what i had bought and what was left...Canned food has also vanished into thin air...and i could go on and on..i have a feeling she thinks she is "entitled" to take her pick and stash away...i know the best and most rational thing to do is call the police but it is indeed a drastic solution and i never for one moment thought it would come to this after ten years.
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Squirrel 66
I assume that you have now read JKLL's post "Need Advice".
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Yes of course. I have read his post. so you all advice calling the police?
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Of course.
Why should she get away with what she has done to you (you would obviously let her go now) to just go and do the same to someone else?
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ferd
15 yrs ago
Don't ask her shortly after she's back. She'll know you've found something.
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I think the best way is to speak to the police before she gets back, inform them of all the missing stuff, then have them surprise her in your home to do the search and deal with her. I wouldn't mention a thing to her that you suspect before the police arrive, gives her less chance to move the stache or invent stories.
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