Perfectionist and demanding employer

As long as there is no abuse or excessive hours involved, work hard and do your best to fulfill the employer's expectations, however high. If the pressure is too high for you, try to finish the contract instead of breaking it.

grytch,


Are you alooking for specific advice? It doesn't sound like it because it's clear that your own employer does not fall into that category. If, however, you are looking to start a lengthy debate on what might be an emotice topic then I don't think this is the place for it. This forum is for "Providing answers and advice about employing a domestic helper or driver in Hong Kong", not for lengthy vocal debates. I suggest that the "Think" forum would be a better place.

Sometimes it is just a case of give and take. For example, maybe there are some aspects of the house that your employer is more picky about than others. The trick is to know what's important to your employer and what's not.


And if you find that you are doing too much, you could simply discuss this with your employer. Chances are she probably is unaware that she's asking too much.

You could say, "Mam, you wanted me to clean the fridge and wash the clothes tonight but I don't have enough time. Can I clean the fridge tomorrow?"


Then it also depends on work hours. I know a couple who do not have children but have a helper. The most important task for this helper is dinner time because she does not need to cook breakfast and lunch for her employer. And of course, without kids, her employer does expect a reasonably clean house. How much mess can two adults who are not home all day make anyway? She also does not need to work long hours because there are simply no kids or elderly to take care of, but during the hours that she works, she has to do her part.


Then maybe perhaps your employer needs you to do more work when the children are in the house, but when they are at school, your employer allows you to do your own things like surf the net or take up a hobby?


It's hard to advice because we don't know the circumstances but I think it's just probably a matter of discussing with your employer if you feel you are doing too much and see if you could compromise.

grytch,

Apart from the good response already from others I don't have anything to add. I'm just observing and thinking back to several of your other recent posts that turned into quite heated debates rather than being particularly related to what this forum is supposed to be about. And based on those other threads I'm also a bit wary of making any comments that are not in total agreement with your own ideas! I have had perfectionist employers who have been terrible to work for, and others who have been great. I have also had far-from-perfectionist employers who have been terrible to work for, and others who have been great. To me it's all about the inter-personal relationship and relative tolerance levels.

Hmmm a well disguised Ad? J/k.


I find what you stated contradictory. In my opinion, as a domestic helper myself, demands should/would stop when perfection was achieved. The fact that you said she wanted you for another contract base from your excellent job, simply means you've met her standards.


As for her asking you to drop what you are doing to do something else, that is normal. There are works than can wait and works that cannot. Part of being an excellent helper is having a good judgment . Next time she asked you to do that again, think whether it is a reasonable order or not and politely tell her why it can't be done. ( Like you are in the middle of cooking-- so could she please wait 5-10 minutes until you're done/could put fire on slow/ etc).


Just a thought.

An interesting thread that I was just questioning myself today. I used to have two helpers before I become a stay-at-home mom and so in the last 5 years, I let 3 helpers go for various reasons. My new helper came in a couple of days ago and asked for direction from another helper in the same building, the other helper warned my new helper that my husband (she called him "the white one") is very difficult and the fact that we let 3 helpers go in 5 years. My new helper was concerned and told me what she heard and I was reluctant to tell her what happened between those 3 helpers and us.


For the record, I let one of the two helpers go because I decided to stay home. We don't feel the need to have two helpers and also I was trying to cut my expense. The other helper in fact left us because she enjoyed being the babysitter rather than the cleaner. Since the second helper left and I care for my children, she became the cleaner. As for the third one, she lied about her experience of her child care experience. She told me 4 months into the contract and I kept her until my baby had an accident.


I often ask myself if I am being good to my helper and honestly I can't imagine being in their shoes. Therefore, I aim to give my helper a better salary, at least one paid long vacation and short working hours. However, I would appreciate to have a helper who show appreciation instead of taking advantage of us.

Sorry it wasn't clear enough for you, grytch. I AM demanding and a bit of a perfectionist. I offer almost twice the basic salary but definitely has high expectation and that's probably what you mean by being demanding or being a perfectionist. I am upfront during the interview. I have high expectation on work performance which doesn't mean long working hours or unreasonable demand. In fact, it's quite the other way around because I am not interested in micro-managing her work and as long as she is keeping the house clean and work done properly, I don't care if she is sleeping during the day or talking on the phone. This work relationship only works when the helper takes pride in her work and I am glad to have found someone who fits well in our family now. If you are not comfortable with your employer's expectation, it's best to part as soon as the contract is finished.