Posted by
Slammy
14 yrs ago
I don't want to be a mean employer, but where do you draw the line when it comes to things that the helper takes from your flat?
Our helper is great and I'm very happy with her. She lives with us but pays for a flat with her relatives so they have a place to go on Sundays.
I noticed 2 rolls of toilet paper went missing so I moved them all to my bathroom cupboard. Food regularly goes as well - such as, I notice that suddenly, the rice or salt has gone down a lot. I saw bacon in the fridge on Saturday and thought, great, I can use it on Sunday on the helper's day off. Then I couldn't find it anywhere the next day.
She goes shopping to the market and I'll see vegies in the fridge and then they'll be gone - not cooked for us, so I can only assume she took them to her flat on Sunday.
Of course, I don't mind paying for her food... but sometimes I feel like I'm contributing the items for her flat, which houses her relatives as well!
Should I just not bother about it - keeping in mind that she's a great helper in all other respects?
And all I should do is keep an eye on how much grocery money has been spent and what it's been spent on - so at least she knows I'm trying to keep tabs on things?
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Draw the line well before that. She is stealing. You should talk to her about it. She should never take anything of yours unless explicitly permitted to. And even if you pay for her toilet paper that doesn't mean she can take more than for herself.
If she is a great helper, you should start the conversation with focusing on that. Also you can if you want say something like "I don't mind you taking the occasional thing, but I would like to know about it ahead of time. Perhaps we can agree that some things are ok and some are not".
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Thanks for your replies.
I wasn't sure if it's stealing or not because if we pay for her food, then I thought that should include food on Sundays as well.
It's tricky though, because I don't want to make her uncomfortable because she's a great helper. I mean... look at it this way - don't we sometimes steal stationery from our office? It's small things, right? Sometimes you wonder whether you should just allow for some small things to keep your employee content.
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You still need to tell her exactly what she can and cannot have, that what she has been doing is technically stealing, and you don't like that, if she feels uncomforatble having this pointed out, well tough.
She probably does help herself to other things, and it is better now to try and nip it in the bud, than prentend you don't notice.
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Ask her first what she think happened to the things that have gone missing and wait for her answer. Perhaps there was some misunderstanding and can be easily explained. This could be the end of the story.
However, in my experience with my staff at work, if I cannot trust someone with small things, then there is no way I could trust them with big things/tasks etc. If my trust of my staff is lost, then I find it very difficult to keep them on, I always wonder what is happening behind my back.
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Thanks for your replies. Still trying to work out how to handle the situation. I said something to her... because I wanted to tell her that it's ok for her to take things as long as she tells me. But she got acutely embarrassed to the point that I couldn't even talk to her!
I don't want to micro-manage her, but how else do you check up on someone, when you know they go to the market and buy food and you think - how come it cost so much money just to buy XX. And of course, she's taking that food back home on Sundays.
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Much more questions I want to ask but my helper is quite computer savvy and will probably read this post!
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Taking things from your home to give her family is not OK. You then have to go and replace them. I would say to her - I've noticed that we are going through rice/ toilet paper/ bacon a lot faster than we need to. Are you taking it out on a Sunday?
I once noticed that on a Monday morning my cupboards would be half empty and that my maid was making her friends picnics from my cupboards. She would also split her toiletries with her friends who had mean employers. In the end I did tell her that her friends are not my problem and it had to stop. I've not had any problems since.
Unfortunately if you let it go on it she will only push the boundaries further and further. To be honest, your maid may be great but she is taking you for a mug.
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