Domestic Helper's Life- A Closer Look

*no advice needed, but comments are welcome, I just wanted to share the what it's like to be a domestic helper. Yes, I'm the writer , this has been published, this is the unedited version.


Heart, Mind and a Dash of Lunacy


If we could see most lives from the insides, there would be a long list of disappointment, loss and failure; but there will be kindness, friendship and love. Love that keeps us going.


The chance to work abroad came to me at an early age. To any 19 year old who have not explored the few square miles of the city she lives in, it could be frightening, daunting and even to a point, cruel. However, to me, it was a once in a lifetime opportunity. A glimmer of hope. A mean to survive. It would mean food on the table, school fees for my sisters, and perhaps soon we may be able to fix the thatch roof, the rickety floor, and the wobbly walls instead of praying that the next typhoon will not blow our house away. Also maybe, soon my parents do not have to wake up at three in the morning to go to the market for our turo-turo (take-away) anymore.


With those aspirations, I boldly ditched my mother’s application and sent mine instead. No one knew. No one was expecting it. Why would I leave? I was a campus figure, an event organizer in our community, and for the first time, my elusive heart was in love.


Love that guided me as I traveled the dark side of migration. Love that cheered me up and help define whom I would be in the years to come. A love that stubbornly refuses to see the ugliness of the world. Instead, it patiently and tenderly understands.


People back home view life abroad through the beautiful pictures their love ones sent them. By the enormous packages they received and by the remittances they drew from a hole on the wall or delivered to their door. I was one of them and could not wait to start living the life of “privileged” commonly enjoyed by those with relatives overseas.


Hong Kong, however, has its own story to tell.


No one told me that to be smart, you have to be stupid. That to be beautiful or acceptable in a jealous (?) Madam’s eyes, you have to be ugly. You have to forget who you are and be someone else- a maid. An extra pair of hand to do what they want done. You cannot be sick, you cannot be sad. You have to switch off your feelings and mind because you are being paid to do as told and emotions, especially homesickness have no place. You have to learn to hide it, and learn to put a smile on your face no matter how much your heart aches. Your world evolves on the four walls of the flat/ house of your employer.


No matter how much we portray it to the outside world, the truth could not be any further than that. Lucky are those whose employers know the word- compassion. Or those who is longing for home and affection found them with their wards. Our wards, with those tiny little hands, tiny little people with sticky fingers wiping your tears away and saying “ I love you” was the love that is a salve to an aching soul when no other love is around.


Many of us feels inferior and would say, “ I’m just a maid” when asked what we do for a living. We forget that to be a maid, you have to be an exceptional person. Someone who must have strength, courage, selflessness and enduring love. That is why it saddens me when I meet people who denies the nature of her/his job and would rather live in a make believe world, falsely thinking that a job description defines a man.


After 17 years in Hong Kong, I have seen the juxtaposition of life. The good and bad. From the denial that Santa is not real until secondary school so we could have an apple and chocolate in our stockings , to now playing Santa to the street children for their memorable Christmas. From borrowing clothes to wear whenever I needed to go on stage to receive an award, to now having more than enough new clothes to wear for the next 2 years. From running away from my employer’s house at dawn to escape the grandfather who almost raped me to traveling across the world, standing in front of the old masters, admiring the beauty of Autumn, now flakes on my face that I only used to read about and seen on TV or movies. From being called stupid once a week on lucky days to working for someone who encourages, inspired and motivated me to grow to become a better person and employee.

Life has been difficult, mostly because I have been too giving and kind and extremely tolerant of others. But I have so much more to be thankful for. I am lucky to have found friends who in themselves are priceless. Lucky to be working for a wonderful person who redefines kindness and compassion. A proud “ mom” of my baby–The Writers’ Guild and the little difference it makes to people.

Like everyone else, my heart has been broken and maybe would still be, but I know I have broken many hearts as well, for a reason. If there is something that makes me proud of myself to this day is this: in solitude, when I try to think of someone I hate, wish ill or angry at, there is no one. Only love, understanding and maybe a little sadness for some.

We all have our own reason why we are here and we chose our own destiny. I know what mine is. To make sure that Kindness, the most beautiful face of love becomes a continuous cycle, or at least try.


Life abroad is a playing field where double-faced individuals are plentiful. You will never know which face you will be dealing with next time, which one to trust. Do I judge them? No. We are all the result of life's tapestry and whilst we have all had many trials to face and overcome differently, I can say that they make us a better person. Stronger and more understanding, far less cynical and more made us willing now t than ever before, to be tolerant and spend a while walking in other people's shoes.


Life has a habit of throwing things under our feet to trip us up from time to time these hiccups make us the people we are but we should always remember that we control who we will become. We must pick ourselves up; put the past into boxes and never forget they are there because they are life's experiences. We keep them for future reference but try not to carry them as a burden into the future


To survive and triumphed the overseas saga, we need these: Heart, Mind and Lunacy.


A heart that over flows with love and compassion, a mind that could talk sense to our vulnerable heart and educate us that it is okay to say no and seek help. Lunacy, where we could laugh at ourselves and with the world. We must remember that Manners make the man , but it is Love that makes life worth living. Love that has no measure, except when there is none.


What you have read is not just my story. It is yours, too. No matter what we are here for and why we need to find the balance between our heart, our mind and our ability to see things from the lighter perspective. In a way, it is innate to each one of us, but THE difference that would define us as individuals and would set the good from the bad apart lies with one and only one word -Scruples.


Without which, no one should stand tall.

I enjoyed your article. It is true that helpers often sell themselves short. "I'm just a maid", when in fact they are a vital part of many households, and enrich them beyond measure. I think the average helper is a very brave person.



This part though, is true of any job.


"you cannot be sad. You have to switch off your feelings and mind because you are being paid to do as told and emotions, especially homesickness have no place. You have to learn to hide it, and learn to put a smile on your face no matter how much your heart aches."

axp. Thank you. It was difficult to write as I was in two way--write from my own personal experiences or from the founder of my group 's perspective. I chose the later as my views/experiences are not necessarily shared my my groups.


On a bigger view ( and controversial) there are those who pretends to be otherwise-- shop girls, stewardess, dependents etc. I guess, to each their own.


As for the part you quoted, yes I do realize that's true for every job but I think with helpers, ut is not so much as an option. Girls were fired for having a sad face, etc. Petty as it is, but then employers do have rights to chose who to employ.


Also the reason many tends to prefer expats is that they could relate to the homesickness part.

Expats hold a very small part in hiring Filipino helpers. If they are so choosy and stuck-up, then the local employers can choose Indonesian helpers over them too. From statistics, the number of Indonesians have out-numbered filipinos which was not the case years back and I think Filipino helpers will eventually be decreased to a very small number in the near future if they continue with this attitude.

To be fair, good employees and employers regardless of race should work well together provided mutual appreciation are shown when the right ones match and only the cheeky ones with prejudiced preferences will lose out. From this forum, I can see these cheeky helpers who work for expats aren't holding out too good in their jobs even when their employers try so hard to please them. Some 'green' employers get bullied thinking the blessing of comfort for having a helper got stress instead.

Take heed when a helper talks badly of her former employer during the interview as she will do the same on her next interview with somebody else after leaving you. Never believe in generalization.

viper342, I really don't understand where you are coming from. You cannot say that all helpers of a certain nationality have an "attitude". And why do you assume that expat employers would accept an "attitude"? A good helper is a good helper, regardless of nationality. Believe me, most expats would not accept a helper who is stuck-up for a very long time.


You seem to assume that all Filipinas have an attitude. I have personally not found this to be the case, but heck, you can't make statistics from that.


Find the INDIVIDUAL that works well. Don't look at nationality.


"Take heed when a helper talks badly of her former employer during the interview as she will do the same on her next interview with somebody else after leaving you. "


Same as every other job.

SouffleQueen

I read your moving article and I am touched because I have met many who feel or have felt very similar feelings toward their role as an overseas worker. However, I can also see it from another perspective because I am in this industry also. The entire idea that a person needs to go outside of their own country to find work to provide a roof over the head of their loved ones means that something within their own country is broken and broken badly. If the government of that country cannot or will not enact changes, then the thought of working abroad will remain without end. I know that domestic helpers are called Heros in the Philippine. I've heard girls laugh at that, they say "So Heros are now cleaning toilets? Well, if that's what it takes to support my family I am willing to sacrifice."

To suceed at this job means you can adapt yourself to your circumstances. If you are a beautful girl, you need to be careful because your Mrs. will have some problems if they already have either self esteem or marriage problems. So don't dress sexy or joke around with the Sir. Don't be around when he is in the house unless you really need to be. Find something else to do. Don't sacrifice yourself to become "ugly." Be strong. I could say to much more on this topic, but in my experience those girls who can "balance" or "dance" make it here.

The other side of the coin is that it is as hard for a person(employer) to find, interview and choose to hire a complete stranger into their home to care for their house and children as it is for the girl to come and work. There are always 2 sides to the coin.

The Hong Kong culture of a work day and a work week is undefined and often unbalanced and not fair. The pressure at work is eased when you know that you have someone in your home offering the additional care and love (just being there for them) toward your children that you can't because of work. Nearly every person looking to hire someone describes their desires as "loving, patient, good character" As with all people some make and some fall short.

The saddest thing to me is meeting someone who has worked already in HK for many years, even up to 16 and still feel they cannot go home because they would not have anything to show for it. When did they build the roof over the house. What is the plan? Financial planning is not a word within the vocabulary. Why must an overseas worker (talking Philippino here) ALWAYS support the extended family simply because she is working abraod? Is the code of the family so extended that by birth your are directly related and responsible for every single branch of the family? Break the cycle of corruption in the governement, and self respect, initiative and pride of country will follow.

"Why must an overseas worker (talking Philippino here) ALWAYS support the extended family simply because she is working abraod?"


Amen. Many helpers don't even want to go home on vacation because their entire extended family expects them to pay for EVERYTHING when they are home.

Viper, that's true there's just a small number of expats among the employers in HK that is why it is a preference, not a must for everyone. If that means they are choosy, by all means they are entitled to that inasmuch as local employers could chose any other nationality for helper. Being able to have a preference DOES NOT make one stuck up. Those who think it is, simply made a loud statement about themselves.


AS for your statistics, I can tell you why the number of Indonesian is growing. The question is,are you prepared to take the answer as is or will you just shrug your shoulders and turn your nose up and make it an attitude problem again? But for the purpose of informed information, up to this days, Indonesian are still getting less pay and days off than what is stated in the contract. They still work in the kitchen , in the store room and god knows only where else and are not ( yet) as well presented and informed about their rights as Filipinos. Note the word yet. Concerned groups are working on it.


Those who are in the know, would notice than some NGO's who used United Filipino in their group's name has been changed to United Migrant.


As for being cheeky, I think my employer likes me for it shows a sense of humour as opposed to having an attitude. Even our guests would remember having a laugh or two from those cheekiness. I know, I know..you meant it in a different context. I got your point. Just fooling around.

"Being able to have a preference DOES NOT make one stuck up."


Very true. No one says anything if an office employee prefers a certain company to work for, but as soon as it is a helper she is stuck up...

@ xpat I do agree with Viper ( and you) about the bad mouthing previous employer. However, we have to give a reason why we are changing employment etc. Not everyone have the gift of the gab and could not express what transpired in a more logical, calm manner and could easily be mistaken as an attitude or bad mouthing.



@ grythc I don't think you are being critical and it's good that you find it relaxing and enjoyable to exchange ideas online. Just be aware that not everyone in this forum are open minded enough and your ( and mine) actions/views could easily be easily be taken against the whole helpers ( Filipina) community. I did have issue with you when you failed to give credit to the author/source of an article you posted and your responses to the other posters. Remember, "I'm sorry" is more dignified than any other excuses that simply means sticking one's foot in one's mouth further.


@ Cara- your points is much closer as the the why's there's more Indonesians here than Filipinas.

souffelQueen


I appreciate what you are saying and understand your feelings. I have only hired Filipino helpers all these time and was and am always happy with them. Some of my friends have changed to hiring Indonesians due to various reasons. A lot of locals hired Indonesian helper solely because of the language problem as they can speak Chinese and can communicate better with the elderly at home. Some have fair deal and some not, I am sad to say, as I do agree to some of the points you & cara wrote. No matter what, since you wrote about The Filipino helpers' preference, I had to point out that it was one of the main reason why locals are hiring Indonesians instead of Filipinas and changing the growth of Indonesians FDH in HK.


On the whole, as a woman and mother myself, I do have compassion for all those women (any nationalities) who come to HK to make a living as FDH, leaving their families & their home-town.

So many wives work their heads off forwarding money back to their families and some (actually a lot) of lazy bum husbands stay at home and cheat on these hard working women. This is not hearsay, souffleQueen, you should know....I am not been cheeky as I myself and so many of my friends have comforted our helpers through these difficult stages when they found out their husbands have cheated on them, some even with their very close friends and relatives. What can they do? Nothing as their responsibiltiies are to earn MONEY & MORE MONEY. It's too sad!

beancurd,

your post makes me "sigh" because there are so many DH's just like yourself working away in Hk and they are sending their own blood sweat and tears in the form of remittances to support a NEVER ENDING supply of need so many people back home. I want to ask you this.....who will take care of YOU when you are old and can't work any more? If you have nice children who will support you then that is nice, but really what about investing in yourself?! Making some of your money work for you and STILL help others?

I agree with you Hk watcher, my Dh sends all sorts of things to her family, they've got computers, flat screen TV's. etc etc which she has sent, then complain about the electricty it costs to run them! they get greedier, a lot of them don't work.

She has however, bought her own house and plot of land to grow things on, so that is some kind of investment for the time she retires.

Interesting responses, and although it's a bit off from the original subject, it's nice to read other people's input.


Short response as to the why-- same reason why many expats are here in HK. How much we send back home is irrelevant, the principle remains the same.


Will try to address comments later when I have more time.


I just have to say that many of those who know me think I'm a success story. In a sense, true. I have my own house where my mom lives, three rooms to let, sent some friends to college and I could afford my weekly Thai massage and foot reflex among others. This, is the fruit of years of denying my wants. Of discipline- no drinks, no karaoke, no gambling, no smoking.


HSBC upgraded my personal account to business account and I will go home a millionaire ( in pesos, hoping for HK$ ) but that did not come from years of being a helper. It comes from doing research and having the guts to invest in AIM ( alternative investment market) listed companies who strike oil . ( Falklands and Kurdistan) NOT for the faint hearted .

I agree with you souffleQueen that in becoming a DH, a Filipino must be stupid, looks ugly, and never show if they're having a heartaches. They should hide their emotions to keep or fit in the jobs. Even when some of the DH were in fact smarter, prettier and sexier than their employer. That's painful but indeed applies to some. Some employers who had those helpers at home will end up, sending back to their countries for replacement, lol, funny, but some helpers, are really smart before they were send back to their country they will look for another employer who will understand what they presently possess and luckily keep their work for long. Some helpers have learned their lessons well, not to over smart their employers. Because, helpers must feel and act stupid. lol. Funny but thats the game. Being a helper is a game to play with. You must know the trick, to win.

Interesting story writer, yet bloviated and cryptic. Simplify your sentences to drive those highly valid points home.

Tune, did it hit a nerve? Does a tutorial for creative writing on offer?

Nice essay! It's not just FDH's who work abroad to make more than they could at home. My husband took a job here because for the financial advantages it offered. By age 35 he was earning out here as much as his parents combined salaries at the peak of their earning in middle/upper management positions. When you look at his entire package and the potential to make a killing on property with his company paying our mortgage with the housing allowance, we're making double our old household income on just his income. We could have stayed in Scandinavia with all of the wonderful lifestyle it offers but we made a call with our future in mind and here we are.

End of the day most DH's get a raw deal. The local way of justifying it is that they are better off than their home country and can always leave. The same could be said about mainlanders paying snakeheads to go to Europe.


Nicely expressed article .

adele, thank you for sharing. Your post validated what I meant when I said some helpers prefer working with expats as the could relate what it is like to be away from home in search of the greener pasture.


@ Beancurd I could clearly see myself in you. I did have that "guilty" feeling when I indulged myself knowing that say, HK 400 -600 for a pair of shoes is almost food allowance for my mom and sisters. Now that I could afford it, guilt free, I still see to it that their needs were taken cared of before my wants/needs. Also it is just my luck that I earn a lot more than the minimum wage plus almost the same amount when we travel in the UK ( where I am at right now) so it's easier to for me to save BUT also it could be easier to splurge. I like that you have thoughts of income when you retire. Many among our kababayans thought a property is enough, forgetting that properties need maintenance and to live on, we need income. I hope that someday, the Filipino culture of "one day millionaire, one year sufferer " ( loosely translated) will become a thing of the past.

Quoting hkwatcher " To suceed at this job means you can adapt yourself to your circumstances. If you are a beautful girl, you need to be careful because your Mrs. will have some problems if they already have either self esteem or marriage problems. So don't dress sexy or joke around with the Sir. Don't be around when he is in the house unless you really need to be. Find something else to do. Don't sacrifice yourself to become "ugly." Be strong. I could say to much more on this topic, but in my experience those girls who can "balance" or "dance" make it here."


Ohh I've learned to dance, got a PhD on it, in fact. But it's tiring, until I find someone who does not mind seeing me in shorts and stilettos or looking elegant as she put it, as she is the epitome of Elegance, herself.


There's a few anecdotal on the subject though. I once learned that my bachelor ( American) employer told his friend that a helper should be like your favorite painting, nice to look at as you will be seeing her everyday for at least two years *laughing softly* His gf demanded I used the back door and should stay in the servant's room, not in the guest room. The GF was replaced; the smart, great cook helper/secretary/PA is more difficult to find.


As for the cycle of corruption.... I will not even go there. I would rather focus my energy to something more productive. It's sad, embarrassing but it is what it is. We either sit and hope for the best or sweat it out someplace else and have a decent living.


As to the family code. It's not always the case. I know of women workers here who do not help their family. Not every Filipino family is lucky enough to have someone like me as a daughter/sibling/aunt or beancurd as a mom/sibling/aunt. But generally, yes we do look after our family, a trait that may seem foolish but some people find it endearing/admirable.

adele's post reminded me of something I wrote way back in 1993, when I was 19 and a newcomer in HK .


( Tune, please edit ) *grins*


A Migrant's Cry

By: funnyface

Don't call me a stranger,

I may be engulfed in darkness,

But soon, dawn will come

The sun will start to shine


Don't call me a stranger

I may want to give up

But I persevered,

And will continue to do so,

Until success is mine.


Don't call me a stranger

I needed to be loved

More so because my beloved,

Are miles away from my grasps.


Don't call me a stranger

My feet may be in shackles

But like you, I want my freedom

My right from birth.


Don't call me a stranger

I’m a drifter, bouncing around

Like a Pilgrimage lost

But I too, belong to a family.


Don't call me a stranger

I am not an outside interference

Think of me as an inside help

Hand in hand with you,

Towards a common purpose.


Don't call me a stranger

Today we’re here,

But tomorrow, who knows?

From ash to ash,

Don't you remember?


Don't call me a stranger

My sighs may be that from tiredness

While yours from happiness

But soon, through life's mysteries,

It could be me squealing with delights.


Don't call me a stranger

I may be bedding down on a hard pallet,

In a tiny, windowless room

Inhaling stale, stuffy air

While you surrounds yourself

with satin and lace

Breathing perfumed air,

But it is rest, from the toil of the day

That we both want.


Don't call me a stranger

We see things differently

Express ourselves in languages

unknown from each other,

Molded by different cultures,

Worship God in different ways,

But we all live in one beautiful world.


Don't call me a stranger

I feel what you felt

For as great our joys are,

We also have pain.

Excruciating pain…

That is a challenge to our soul.


Don't call me a stranger

Yes, classes are like water and wine

And one must not dare to mix them

But please do remember, it was our God…

Our creator who managed to turn water into wine


Don't call me a stranger

Yes, I’m a migrant but so are you

All of us are passing figures in this world

We all have our moments under the sun

Until our own time will come.

Life is beautiful, life is good

Let there be no stranger amongst us

We breathe same air, basks under the same sun,

Blanketed by the very same stars from the sky

And is loved, romanced and enticed

By the very same beauty life has to offer


Don't call me a stranger,

Or him the black one

Or her the white one

Or anyone, for the matter

For strangers, we are not!

Beancurd,


What you are doing for your nephew's kids brings tears to my eyes. The joy you take in your selfless act is also clear for all to see. There is no self-pity, no resentment at being burdened by someone else's lack of responsibility. I am sure your children will grow up to be equally big-hearted, compassionate people who will take care of their mother well!

Beancurd, I agree with ABL in fact when I read your post I was still in London, praying for my nephew who was pre-mat and had to be sent back to intensive care a week after he was home. My sister was a complete mess and the only help I could is by making sure he got the best care and pay for it. Although I truly wish I could be with them.


I think we should have a coffee date, I have an invite to chronicle our lives here, and would love to include your story. It will be my last "gift" ( Ed said so) as I'm retiring as soon as we could find someone I could mentor.

soufflleQueen, Heart..Mind...is quite good to share but some is not easy to get by a simple and busy like DH and our kababayan. I like your "A Migrants Cry" very inspiring esp. to those people searching their luck in far away places. it gives inspiration, encouragement, esp. to our kababayan here in hk. i can see your strong personality, your guts with your words and thoughts. :)) would you mind to share some of your literaries to me (including this "A Mig..) and share it to our kababayans here in hk.even your ..heart and mind.. my email address: astighk@yahoo.com


thank you mam.

nhed

RDN, thank you. No, not at all, more than happy to share as I have quiet a lot but what do you want them for? All of them were published, so there could be a copyright issue.I'll email them to you ( including where it was published and when if I can remember and the pen names I've used). A friend added guitar background to it and another group wants to turn it into a song .

* Quoting susie1 in part "I agree with you Hk watcher, my Dh sends all sorts of things to her family, they've got computers, flat screen TV's. etc etc which she has sent, then complain about the electricty it costs to run them! they get greedier, a lot of them don't work."


In fairness to the families left at home, they got "greedier" because we allowed them to.

"NO" is a forgotten word when it comes to our family. The way I understand it, it is because we are trying to fill the void with material things. That knowing they live a life where their needs and want were met, it appeased our own guilt for not being there with them when they needed tending to when they're sick and needed comfort. For all the missed birthdays, graduations, Christmases and etc.

That, I think is something that everyone who left home and work overseas tend to do, not just us, the domestic helpers.

We forgot to teach them to fish, and spoon-fed them instead.

SouffleQ' hope you'll not get me wrong, of course it's all yours. actually i am a part of OFW non profit Organization here in HK. and one of our objectives is to uplift the life of our fellow filipinos, in our own little way, one achievment that we have right now is our Magazine that we share it FREE to our kababayan. see it for yourself, www.astigbalitahk.com, our great honor if you can share it to serve as an inspiration to our fellow filipinos' too.


thank you mam.

Been there, and saw some familiar faces and recognized group names. I'm more than happy to share, and will see if I have some unpublished ones. I have over 100 blogs, but they are more personal and not really related to HK life and (sadly) I can't write in Filipino.

On the other hand, I have lots of (unpublished)articles submitted to the Guild, and many more sent by mail. I could furnish you copies, just give the contributor credit, please.


O/T : I have the feeling that we have met, or heard of each other *lol* I never wrote under SQ though :) and I was actually asked to launch a website like yours, except it has to be current events ( told them impossible unless they hire full time writers)

Hi! I am impressed with Ur article.. galing ha! I am interested sana to join Ur Writer's Guild, pls let me know how I can get in touch with U.. here poh is my number 62572766.. I am a writer too, back home kaya lang.. I need to refresh my skills.. thanks

hi GUys,

you are free to share your ideas,and most welcome to write an article in Astig Magazine as long as it will help our kababayans, Tagalog or English, or taglish contribution will do. you can send your article to astighk@yahoo.com or contact duds #25633 222,


...and of course your article will definitely credited to the writer who will contribte.

our Magazine is available at: CENTRAL WWhaus, Calisons ltd. 2nd flr./ jollibee cntral, LBC, 3' sim shop, WANCHAI AREA: Cinta-J, Premium Nannies.


thank you guys.

i wish you'l be a part of our good cause.


astighk

nhed

@ Mei thanks and will call you. Sadly, I'm retiring soon so most of the "work" with the group will be online ( as it is, really as I'm often away and hardy have any Sunday off) Will call you.


@ Nhed


Just got your mobile, you did not answer. I thought of writing two pieces for your magazine -- The Living Will ( we don't normally have one, but a conversation last night made me realize I should have one) & Sister Shock - my baby sis is here, 25 with the physique of a model ( and modestly pretty) and I go "berserk" when I hear someone's courting her *lol* I'll do it from a satirical point of view.


@ Ed- maybe a literary section is needed on here?

Just off topic but related to living in HK.


I often go to this place for a foot reflex as they're good and another place in Central for Thai massage. When I went for reflex last Sunday I was told they were full. I found that strange as they often accommodate me even if that means the owner himself will tend to me. Also I saw two therapist not doing anything. I asked for another time slot later in the evening but was told "sorry, no". I tried again last Monday and Tuesday but got same answer. This morning,after trying to make another booking, the owner faced up. He told me that one of those who sadly died in the Philippines during that terrible day was related to one of the workers there. I was told I could come on Monday as he will be off.


My reaction? Not good business wise as I normally go for 2-3 sessions every week and give 15-20% tip. BUT I understand. Everything is about strong emotions and I probably would feel and react the same way even if logic tells me otherwise.


It reminds of of another Filipina poster here who often carries "racism/unfair treatment" in some of her thread and realized, We will ALWAYS feel that way if we allow it. And people's preferences does not make him/her a racist.

Sorry to hear about that souffleQueen, hope you can just take it with a pinch of salt as I can see you've got a big heart. A nephew of mine was lining up in a bank in Australia and an Australian woman poked him on his back with her umbrella (or walking stick - not sure) and said "young man, go behind the line", seeing that she is old and a lady, he went back the line and 'took it with a pinch of salt'. Life is too short to linger on some minor injustices. Only fight for important things. I used to be very emotional before but nowadays, I try (sometimes) to reverse the roles to see how the other party felt before proceeding to a reasonable reaction.


The sun will shine when the rain stops. Tomorrow is another day!

Viper, that is very true, there are bigger issues in the world than our little misery that could easily be just charge to experience.

I did apologized to the other people when I was in Central after I heard about the mixed up. The lady owner told me in details what they saw on telly and no matter how much we wished for things to have gone differently, we can't. We can only apologize so much but I don't think other people could see how sick we feel about the whole thing. I chided my sister for being paranoid when she told me she did not want to go out, and saw how other Chinese talked to the Filipinas in the market. The only reason she was "spared" ,she thought was because she looks more Korean than Filipina.


On the other hand, a quick trip to Central yesterday, a few Chinese gentlemen held/opened the door for me when I was in Landmark and Princess building.


@ Nhed , thanks for the call, the vote of confidence enjoyed out chat and I'm more than happy to help. I like and admire your humble/modest approach . Writers' Guild is my baby and I would rather fold it than tarnish its name, but as I typed, I'm going through my files.

SouffleQ'- thank you for your time and i enjoyed the long hour of chat with you, and the info that you shared, i hope for a positive outcome of our meeting.


cheers

Nhed

Nhed, happy to share . You just caught me in a bad time--swarmed at work after being away for three months- but I noted your deadline.

Again, good luck. It needs a lot of polishing but for a young organization...hat's off. You pulled it off pretty good. Just stay focus and keep away from politics . *lol*

i noticed that most of the comments/replies here are dated a year ago more or less. hope you are still available to answer my inquiry. i am going to work in HK as DH too maybe around October; just waiting for my visa. My question is this:


If you are an office worker aged 38 at this moment, getting a net salary of 14K (though sometimes it's delayed by two months max.). A husband who has work too and with 3 kids ages 14, 11 & 7. Would u leave ur job here in the Philippines and work as DH in HK?

Other circumstances are: we dont have our own house

my eldest son wants to go to med school

Do you think i'll be getting more compared to my salary here?

What do u think is the worst aspect of being a DH that i should expect by now? Are the madams strict/jealous? Do they tell and guide you once you get there on the things that u should do daily?

Thank you in advance..