Posted by
axptguy38
13 yrs ago
Two words: FIRE HER!
She is taking advantage of you in a big way. It doesn't matter how many good qualities she has. She is dishonest and a thief. If she has money troubles it is not your responsibility to fix them.
There are plenty of honest, cheerful and hardworking candidates out there looking for a job. Start fresh.
"Im not very good at dealing with servants as I have never done it before."
Treat your helper as you would any other employee. Be clear in your requirements. Be clear in your communication. Be clear in your feedback. Do not make the mistake of thinking she is really your friend. There can be "pseudo-friendship" but a good boss keeps a measure of distance towards subordinates. There is a book out there called "Hiring and Managing Domestic Help" that discusses the subject at length.
"I didn't get her through an agency which believe is the best thing to do as they handle any problems."
I don't see how an agency could have fixed this apart from doing the termination paperwork. As the employer, management is your responsibility.
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don't judge from her to any other philipppino. like axptguy said, there are many other philippino helpers who are great.
i would also not worry about the gardening, etc. there are many others who have been farmers back home.
seriously, fire her right away, get yourself a part time while searching for a new one.
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Be honest and firm when you fire. If you don't want to be alone, get a friend to "sit in". Worst case, call the police.
As cookie09 says, don't judge Filipinas from this one. I know many lovely helpers who work very hard, including ours. On the other hand there are some awful ones. Sri Lankan, Filipina, Indonesian, really makes little difference on that score.
Don't think a gardener is that hard to find. Our maid grew up on a farm so hardly a big stretch. Big green thumb.
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Fire her, call the cops and press charges so no other employer will be victimized by this thief.
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I still think you're generalizing. There are about 150000 Filipina domestic helpers in Hong Kong. You have had experience with but a few. There are plenty of lovely ones out there.
The interview is important, as is setting expectations.
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Rumdoodle, you have been far too nice and soft, with these helpers.
If your present helper ( the one who is stealing), is actually sponsered by you, she should live in your place all the time, also she is not allowed to do part-time work for anybody else, if she has been doing this without your knowledge, and you have proof of who she is working for, then she could be fired instantly for cause--gross disobeidience, but you have to be able to prove it.
I think it would be a good idea to go to the police and report thefts of money from your wallet, maybe they can advise you how to catch her out, by marking notes etc. Have you noticed anything else going missing in your home? thieves like her don't usually stop at just cash.
If she could be caught out and charged then she wouldn't be allowed to carry on working in HK.
If you get another domestic helper you must start being tougher with them, be very fair but firm, and keep an eye on your valuables, it may help you to read the rules of employment of a domestic helper, and be wise as to what they can and cannot do legally, I will send you a pm with a link for domestic help agencies, but first fire this one you have and try to get her charged if you can. Make sure you document everything and have a witness present in all the dealings with her.
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tgm
13 yrs ago
Rumdoodle,
Not 100% sure this post is not a wind up, but in the event it's for a real:
Re: your original post - terminate her immediately, pay her one month wages in lieu, show her the door and change your locks. Your choice whether or not you want the hassle of involving the police - it appears to be your word against hers, so it's difficult to see how you could prove a case against her.
Re: your last post - have to agree with axptguy and cookie that 3 cases out of 150000 is a bit of a gross generalisation. We've had 3 helpers, all Filipina and they've all been good - the 2nd was extremely good at her job and made life very easy for us; if she was still in HK then i'd take your bet (but to be frank I'm not sure she'd want to work for you).
Have never used an Agency to find a helper; always found ours through personal references from someone we know and trust.
Good luck finding a replacement, if you've discounted all Filipinas then your pool of potential helpers has drastically reduced - at least it will mean less interviews i guess.
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"No I'm absolutely convinced that the Filipino mentality is not at all trustworthy. Cultural differences perhaps but there it is. Its not my culture and so what?
I must simply look for one that suits is it not?
I want some one bright and honest and intelligent who knows the more they please by good work the more they gain. Loyalty and honesty these things mean more to me than some freaky church goer."
So not only are you judging an entire culture based on three people, but you are also church goers are "freaky"? Wow...
Our helper, as just one example, goes to church every Sunday. She is "bright, honest, intelligent", not to mention hard working, loyal, full of energy, full of initiative and cheerful. Her nationality: Filipina. Ok so that's just one person and not statistics but if all Filipinas are untrustworthy (what a thought!) there wouldn't be 300000 of them working in HK and Singapore, not to the Middle East and the large number on cruise ships and in hotels around the world.
"What about an Indoneasian male? Anyone had experience? I'm not at all sexist."
If you're not sexist gender shouldn't matter.
"Its just how to get rid of this one and find the next, is this an endless quest for most expats?"
No. In my experience the quest is only endless for those who don't manage properly. Oh sure, many people encounter the occasional dud, but if ALL the helpers are bad that's bad interviewing and bad management.
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Be very clear; having domestic helpers at home makes your home a work place. Do you leave your wallet hanging around unattended at work? Maids are not family members. If you offer employment to people in your home be prepared to modify your behaviour accordingly especially with regards to cash and valuables as well as financial and identity documents, be careful of gossip and personal conversation details, as well as being more aware of your dress code.
The majority are trustworthy but people mostly come to work in the DH profession because they are desperate for cash and desperate people can be capable of desperate things, nationality is not an issue in this regard.
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You make a valid point. The home becomes a workplace but it is also still your home. Hence one of the main points from whence trouble can start.
I would say that even if an office is a workplace, you need the office workers to be trustworthy. It is quite possible.
It's about finding the right person, but also about removing temptation. Certainly a helper can always steal, but it is more tempting if you leave your wallet or jewelry lying around. Having said that, my wallet is in plain sight when at home and not once has it been touched.
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tgm
13 yrs ago
You don't have to accept any level of stress from a DH - you can always choose not to employ one.
However if you do then ask probing questions during interviews; better still employ a DH based on a personal reference from someone you know well who is leaving HK or knows someone who is leaving and can vouch for the DH's performance; set the ground rules early on and manage/talk to your DH during their employment. Good management of a DH is no different to good management of staff in any workplace - good communication is key. Of course there is no way to manage staff who are dishonest and there is no room for negotiation with someone who steals, be they DH or otherwise - in this case simply terminate her and show her the door.
Btw Rumdoodle and Reconnoitre - do either of you have any Filipino friends or are all of your observations about Filipinas based on your employment of DHs? If you do have Filipino friends are they aware of your low opinion of their country??
It should be about the individual not the nationality - there are far too many generalisations in some of your posts and a lot are bordering on (or are outright) racist. There are good and bad DH in all nationalities, just as there are good and bad employees in any office regardless of nationality, just as there are good and bad employers...
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If a DH have done wrong that cannot be forgiven then fire immediately.What are you worry for?
And if the employer is abusive (mentally, psychologically, verbally) then sue her in the LT. What are you worry for?
DH wrongthen fire and sue..
Employesr wrong then sue..
So that theres a fair and even game..;) NOT ALL ODDS BUT EVEN..
Recon,
My advice to you is DON'T HIRE A FILIPINO HELPER ANYMORE..So that you don't have to worry ok..As you said Philippine helper is low profile and bad helper..
scan the book first before you judge the cover..The wrong of Ana is not the wrong of Maria..
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Rumdoodle I have always hired Indian/Nepalese helpers and they have been amazing. Of course you have to interview carefully as there are bad apples in every barrel, but the ones I have been lucky to employ have been honest, thorough, trustworthy and a pleasure to have around.
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Hi,
Just read your post but I think the thread is from a year ago or so. I feel sorry for your experience but not all Filipinos are thieves but I think you should fire her in case you haven't. I have one filipino maid and she is honest but not so good cook. I still keep her because she is honest and I can leave the house any time and comes home late without loosing anything. Though recently, because I treat her like equal, she's become bossy around the house and holler to my son. I let it passed thinking she is tired from all day work. But noticed it got worst so I asked with to sit down with me and told her she doesn't change for the better, she can leave. After that she changed her ways. She doesn't want to loose her job or even look for another employer thinking she is better where she in now compared to other helps. My point is, if you've given your help chances and warned her many times and doesn't change, just ask her to leave. If you have other experiences pls feel free to share or message me. I can learn too from your experiences.
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