Posted by
lmbtv
14 yrs ago
I'm not sure if this is too much to ask for?
A married helper who has experience with infants, or one better, has taken courses in nursing or the like - with a husband who would be hired as our driver. Both would live in.
I know a select few friends who have found the perfect 'helper couple'. I imagine this isn't easy to find?
When we first moved to HK my husband and I only needed someone to care for our home. We ate out a lot and didn't make too much of a fuss about anything else.
Now we are excitedly expecting out first child and so our needs have changed.
Unfortunately our current help, as fantastic as she is otherwise, is lacking experience with children. I could use advice on...
1. How do I fairly release my current help? It's not her fault that our situation has changed and she's very happy here.
2. Where best can I start looking for the type of help I now need?
Thanks for any and all advice!
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You'll have a very hard time finding that couple, but there are some out there. They get snatched up quickly.
Regarding the nursing degree, it is much easier to find a helper with a good attitude and then send her to a 2 day nursing/first-aid class. A nursing degree is way overkill for taking care of an infant and will severely limit your choice of candidates. There are plenty of helpers out there with no more than primary school education who are stellar with infants and toddlers. It's not like parenting requires a nursing degree.
"I know a select few friends who have found the perfect 'helper couple'. I imagine this isn't easy to find?"
Speaking as someone who has found the couple of which you speak, I will say it is tough. If nothing else, the husband in our case didn't enter our employ until after several years. He wasn't a driver in HK to start with and we paid for him to get his HK license. So you might have to look at a two-step process.
1. Give her one month notice. Give her a good reference. State your reason for dismissing her.
2. This site has a ton of helper listings.
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Nuri
14 yrs ago
If I were you, I would not fire your current helper if she is a good person and a capable worker who is willing to learn. I have 2 kids, and had both types of helpers: experiences and not experienced in childcare.
Experienced. She did not meet my expectations and she was too relaxed with the baby. Her general attitude was "Don't worry, mam he'll be fine. I brought up 3 kids of my own, I know." I could not blame her as in her village the kids are brought up differently to what I am used (e.g., hygiene, safety, quiet environment, etc.) We had to part ways because of this.
Not experienced. She was brilliant as she was very willing to learn how to take care of the baby, and I taught her to take care of the baby in the same way as I would do it myself.
Good luck with your decision.
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Nuri makes a very very valid point. Well put. I'd add that I would rather take someone (experienced or not) with a great attitude, a good work ethic and a willingness to learn than someone who has paper credentials.
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lmbtv
14 yrs ago
Thank you all for your advice. I do agree to a certain extent that teaching someone how to care for a baby and trusting their good nature could ultimately be the perfect solution.
Our current helper does have a good attitude and does work very hard for us. However within my first two years here we adopted two Labrador puppies. There was a time that she left one puppy alone in our kitchen with the doors shut next to a bucket of hot water with bleach in it. Another time she had walked both dogs at once, taken her eye off of the smaller one, within which time the puppy went back into the lift and rode it down alone. She ran down stairs to get the puppy which eventually somehow rode the elevator back up again to our apartment.
All was ultimately okay in the end, but I think understandably, I'm set on the fact that as much as I trust her with my home - she will not be the one to watch my children. I feel bad saying it, but not bad enough to risk the safety of my infant. I had a hard enough time dealing with the mistakes with my puppies.
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I see why you wouldn't want to retain your current helper.
The important thing is to separate how you feel about the current one from the process of hiring the new one. Start fresh, having learned from the current experience but not having preconceived notions about the new candidates because of it.
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Ed
14 yrs ago
http://hongkong.asiaxpat.com/helpers/
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lmbtv
14 yrs ago
Thank you axpatguy38. I appreciate all of the advice.
My goal is now is to keep the help I currently have and then also hire someone for our future children. If I can work it out monetarily, that's what I'll do. If not, I will do all I can to help set her up with another good employer.
In fairness and with respect I did have a talk with my current help yesterday to keep her in the loop on what our plans were. She understands what our concerns are and how our needs have changed. She is of course planning to stay with us -so hopefully all works out in the end.
I on the other hand will remain conscious not to have unreasonably high expectations for any prospective help for our coming baby. It's our first and I'm a bit nervous. But I'm also aware that that's exactly where my high aspirations for help are stemming from...my own insecurities and my wish for the safest of havens for my child. I'm sure when I meet the right helper, I'll know.
Thanks again.
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