Terminate or not?

My new helper has been with us for over a week now. Before she started and during the week, we went over our basic rules at least twice eg. no lying, no stealing, care of employer's belongings, no excessive phone calls etc...


But over the course of just one week, we have observed the following:


1) She made 3 dents on the edge of our walls likely from banging the mop/broom/vacumn cleaner on the wall.


2) A 6 inch-long and fairly deep & irrepairable scratch on a rubber play mat.


3) Talked over the phone a lot. A few calls a day and usually calls last for 20-30mins during her work hours. We have a webcam in our house as we have 2 older dogs and we are expecting a baby. She knows it even before she decided to take the job.

We have explained to her at the very beginning that we are okay with brief calls during work hours but not extended chatting like that. It was mainly for safety reasons as we do not believe that a person can really focus on the job while on the phone for so long. She understood it well.


4) Lying to us on at least 2 occasions. This relates to the phone calls we observed she was taking. When we saw she was on the phone for so long while she should be doing her work, I called and asked her if she was on the phone. She repeated said no. When I told her that I heard her talking to someone over the camera, she just said, " Oh, I am sorry". I told my husband and he decided to have a serious talk to her. To my surprise, she again lied to my husband and said " when ma'am trying to call me, maybe the phone was not working"... then, he said , we saw it on camera. She gave a few other stupid excuses including she was listening to music and etc.. Finally , after again we told her that we heard her over the camera, she admitted she was on the phone chatting. It's ironic that she admitted to me but chose to lie to my husband. Would have been glad that if she just apologize when my husband talked to her. I dont know what made her think that she can get away with that lie with my husband.


It seems like either this helper does not really take our word seriously or probably genuinely careless or scared...But either way, do you think I should keep her? How can I trust this person taking care of my baby next time? Should I let her go? Does all these provide sufficient grounds of immediate termination without notice or pay in lieu?

if you are unhappy with the way things are working out with your helper, then let her go. if you don't, you will always have to worry about how things are doing in your home all the time.


a domestic helper should be able to assist you with the running of the household but it seems she is more concerned about other things.


so let her go.


as you already have given her the house rules, the best way imho is to give her a written warning (and let her sign it), 2 warnings and she is out.

terminate her , no need to sit down and talk , she is a DH she needs to do as she is told as per LAW (WHICH THIS CLASS LOVES TOO MUCH) and use it whenever convenient...my last maid acted the same we immediately terminated her and sent a letter for her dis-honesty / bad behaviour to immi...which she regrets till date and now in Phill...even the emplyment agency does not want her...

Problems already within a week.........I think things will only go downhill from here. Perhaps have a serious chat with her about your expectations and her duties as a domestic helper and explain how you are not happy with her performance so far. Put this down in a letter, highlighting the main points discussed. Make sure she has understood everything (put this on paper too) and both to sign letter and a copy for each of you. Give her a time frame within which you would like to see improvement after which if no improvement - then hand her 1 months pay in lieu of notice, any salary due and a one way ticket back to the Philippines.

Thanks all. I had a talk with her and gave her a letter acknowledging the issues we have found in her. Then she told me that she has a domestic problem, her husband is pressuring for her to return to Manila as he has another woman... she said she doesnt want to leave HK. I dont know what to believe to belief anymore. We spent the last 2 days dealing with her long face since she was caught lying. I will terminate her sometime this week as in the process of finding a temp fill-in for her.

Gaijin, I think she will be very happy to get extra 5000 for working just a week. It seems that the law does not protect adequately the employers for genuine bad behaviour from helpers. Likely, many helpers are taking advantage of this to buy extra money and time to look for another job.

Terminate her now. There are honest, hardworking and cheerful helpers out there who will gladly take here place.

I think if you read the rules carefully, you can let this helper go within a few months of her employment for doing a bad job. I wouldn't bother paying her the extra month since she sounds like a horrible dh. I was in a similar situation but I unfortunately gave mine too many chances but after 1 year of breathing down her neck, she is working out fine. Keep in mind, since you are expecting, you probably don't need the stress of this not so great dh. They are suppose to help you not cause you grief. Oh and btw, most dh's are not so bright.....that's why they are dh's. Lastly, I am not sure if I would want to be "observed" by a webcam constantly....you are showing her you don't trust her...etc from the beginning.

I think if you read the rules carefully, you can let this helper go within a few months of her employment for doing a bad job. I wouldn't bother paying her the extra month since she sounds like a horrible dh. I was in a similar situation but I unfortunately gave mine too many chances but after 1 year of breathing down her neck, she is working out fine. Keep in mind, since you are expecting, you probably don't need the stress of this not so great dh. They are suppose to help you not cause you grief. Oh and btw, most dh's are not so bright.....that's why they are dh's. Lastly, I am not sure if I would want to be "observed" by a webcam constantly....you are showing her you don't trust her...etc from the beginning.

Buttercuplee, one month in lieu is probably to protect ourselves. The rules are not clear what constitute as summary dismissal via dishonesty, habitually neglecting duties/ not follow reasonable orders etc.. It would be nice not paying since I dont think she deserve that either but really may not worth the hassle. Re: webcam, I do agree with you to some extend. I think its a very personal choice to have a webcam at home. There is no one during the day at home and we just need to go to work at peace. Occasionally being able to see what is going on, does help for me at least. Its really not so much of monitoring/observing the helper. If she does not clean or do her job, it will show up for sure. Just this time around, I discover my new helper has the tendency to chat a lot on the phone night & day. On her nights, after work which is none of my business, I can hear her on the phone in her room for as long as 1-2 hours every night..During the day, I am not sure how long she is on the phone as we are not stuck to the webcam all day long. But half the time we logged on the net, we hear her talking to someone for 20-30mins.

Anyway, liek you said many things can be sorted out as in the case of your helper but the lying part is the toughest. If she is prone to lying, I cant trust her...

@buttercuplee saying "most dh's are not so bright...that's why they're dh's.I do not think so.most dh's in Hong Kong specially those from the Philippines are College/University graduates.They are Teachers,Nurses,worked in banks/offices etc.The main reason they are here as dh's is the money/dollars they'll earn.

@kamaole,axptguy38 and beancurd.I agree and couldn't say more :)

Most DH's are bright. Come to think of it..... who has the highest percentage of employment in Hongkong??? They are the DH's :) (Filipinas, Indonesians, Sri Lankans etc) DH's learns their employers language but their employers can't learn the DH's language.

@buttercuplee "Oh and btw, most dh's are not so bright.....that's why they are dh's."


I heartily disagree. DHs become helpers due to social circumstances, not because of lack of intelligence or education.

Well put beancurd. And in that vein I will say that our helper excels at cooking. I have the utmost respect for her skill in making meals that are both delicious and nutritious.