Posted by
HKM3
13 yrs ago
We just hired a new helper, she started last weekend.
I was supervising my daughter's homework while the helper was giving my son a bath. He's a bit sick, didn't nap and a bit on the cranky side today. From the other room I hear him shouting "No pinching ME, NO pinching ME". He just turned three. He's never "lied" to me, and when his sister bops him he is very certain to say "no hitting me".
I walk into the bathroom and ask "did you pinch him?" She turns to me, smiles and says, "No" - and then proceeds to "pet" him gently on the head.
I hate to say this, but I believe my son - he has no reason to say "no pinching me" without a cause, and no reason to make it up. He's not really capable of having a proper conversation with me about this - and I don't know what to do.
Any advice?
Thanks
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There is not much you can do in this situation. Examine your son, make sure he has no marks on him, if there are none, all you can do is to give your helper the benefit of the doubt whilst monitoring the situation carefully.
I would however sit her down at some point in the next few days and tell her that honesty is your primary expectation of her, that if something happens, even if it is bad, she needs to tell you and you can work it out together. If however you catch her lying to you, then the trust is broken and she won't be able to stay in her current employment. Also a simple statement of fact about what you expect in terms of her disciplining your children.
Good luck!
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Sorry before I signed off, I should have said, seeing she is new to your household, making sure she understands your expectations is key to the long term viability of your relationship.
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I think it's a cultural thing. I've seen many asians (of all sorts of backgrounds) pinching kids at the park or on the bus if they misbehave. I think it's a lot less blatant and obvious than a smack so it can be delivered without being as noticed.
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jblee
13 yrs ago
3-year-olds don't lie. Make your expectations clear to her, then continue to listen to him to be sure she got the message.
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