Communication breakdown...

I would like to start a debate about employer/ employee relationships. In particular between the mam and helper. What is an appropriate level of friendship? What are the expectations of each? I am really interested to hear examples of good relationships and poor ones. What are common reasons for break contract situations and has anyone overcome any issues with their employer/helper to make a successful partnership out of a struggling one?

"What is an appropriate level of friendship?"


Zero friendship to start. You are not best friends and being friends is a bad thing. She works for you. The appropriate thing is to have a cordial professional relationship. There can be great affection in this relationship, even pseudo-friend behaviour. But you are the boss and she is the employee. We adore our helper and we believe she feels great affection towards our family. But no one should forget she is with us because we pay her to be.



We have a wonderful relationship with our helper. She is a straight talker (oh yes!) and we encourage her to let us know if she has thinks we are making a mistake, for example with the children. But she does this is a very "appropriate" way. While we often take her advice, WE make the final decision and she abides by it. However we do know that she understands how we think and if we are not around will try to do things as we would want.



"What are common reasons for break contract situations and has anyone overcome any issues with their employer/helper to make a successful partnership out of a struggling one?"


Poor communication is one of the main reasons. Talk to your helper frankly and often. Don't avoid thorny issues.

Thanks, that is very good advice. What if, perhaps, I was a little naive with my current helper, and as a result she has taken advantage? for example- we were friends on FB until I found her 'answering back' to an issue I had with her on there (knowing I would see it and be upset). Yes, completely stupid but... what would be the best course of action? And I have learnt my lesson now :(

Agreed with cara. Unfriend her but certainly explain why. Sit down for a nice cuppa and tell her what you like about the relationship and what you think should be changed.


She probably doesn't feel comfortable with the relationship right now either!