Posted by
AaliyahM
12 yrs ago
I've recently hired a helper who used to take care of 3 kids. There was another helper who did the housework while she took care of the 3 kids.
She came to work for us and within a few days, decided to resign. She said she was homesick because she just got a new boyfriend in Indonesia when she was back there for 2 months. She also said that it was tough working for me because I have two kids (expecting a 3rd - the 3rd not even here yet) and doing the housework.
Her suggestion is that I get two helpers. I only have a very small house and only one room for a helper. I'm not sure how feasible it is to fit another one in my home and to take on all the added expenses of another helper. My husband and I work full time.
Any thoughts? I've been told by agents that I'm undesirable for helpers because I will have 3 kids and they don't like that.
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Imagine you are a helper...would you want to work for a family that has three kids? I would not. However, people are willing to work harder or longer for EXTRA money. This is true in all lines of work. You could try offering a larger salary....say 5k to entice/compensate for the extra work load your large family presents. I am sure their are some helpers that would like the extra cash and you wouldn't lose any space in your small house.
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yufie
12 yrs ago
u can hire one helper with increase salary takecare your child nd do household chores..
B'cos all helper come here work for money,right..?
I think increase their salary is good thing.
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To find out if it is too much for one helper, you should try to do it all yourself, laundry, cleaning, cooking, and taking care of kids. If it is too much for you, then it would be too much for 1 helper as well. It would be ideal to have one helper for cleaning cooking etc and another mainly for taking care of kids, but as you say you only have room for one, then maybe hire a local to come in daily to clean and cook and do laundry.
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Thank you all for all the lovely suggestions.
I think I'll definitely increase her salary when the new baby's here. We'll have to work out how much increase to give her.
And I think it'll be tough for her to do the marketing also and may hire a local lady 3 times a week to help buy the groceries and maybe cook us a meal at dinner. If she cooks more, helper and the kids can have the leftover for lunch the next day. My eldest is fine because she gets cooked lunches from school daily. It's only the helper and my 18 month old that will need to eat.
Will also consider getting help with doing the major cleaning like the bathrooms/balcony/windows - although I'm home Saturdays and Sundays and between the helper and I, we may be able to manage.
I agree, that ideally we can hire two helpers but financially and space wise, it is a major concern for our family.
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Jim Fit said ... "So why the helper has to eat your left-overs ?"
Well, saying it like that makes it sound like the employer is intending to give the helper what they've left on their plate! To any normal person it's pretty obvious that the OP is meaning to cook extra portions of their own dinner for the helper and child to eat the next day ... this is normal for many families ... not just to give to the helper!!
My helper eats our 'leftovers' most days ... as do we ourselves on occassion when I make extra portions to freeze. Knowing the kind of meals I cook, I think my helper (and I'm sure many others) are eating far better nutritious meals than they would if they were doing their own cooking!
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"I only have a very small house and only one room for a helper. I'm not sure how feasible it is to fit another one in my home and to take on all the added expenses of another helper. My husband and I work full time."
I'm just curious if you thought about this before having a third child? I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but I can't help but be a little turned off by your post. Why have a third child? It sounds like you don't have the time or resources neccessary to afford three children and you are hoping someone else will come to your rescue. Having children should be a well thought out decision, and it doesn't sound like you really thought things through to well.
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To Jim Fit, I am more than happy for my helper to cook for herself and the kids from fresh if she wants to. I was just thinking that she could be too busy with the kids and may not want the hassle of cooking lunch. So the idea is that if I can get a part timer to take care of all the cooking, it'll free her from this task. I for one, do not mind leftovers either. Nor do I mind that my kids have this or congee from the freezer. Sure it's nice to have everything fresh and if she's willing, I'm more than happy for her to do so.
unattendedbag, our third child was unexpected. All our previous pregnancies were assisted after years of infertility so this was a surprise. It's a bit harsh isn't it to judge? But we are pregnant right now so we will try our best to cope with the situation we are in. Hence all the planning we are making.
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AaliyahM - congratulations on your 3rd 'unassisted' pregnancy.
Unattendedbag had absolutely no right to judge or question why you were having another child ... it's nothing to do with your original post or the queries for which you wanted advice.
At the end of the day, your helper came to work for you already knowing that you had 2 children and, I assume, she knew that you and your husband both worked full time and you explained what her duties would be? Yet she decided after only a few days that she couldn't cope ... perhaps she shouldn't have accepted the job in the first place ...
You seem to realise that looking after 3 children and a home is a lot for anyone, not just a helper, and you are willing to take on extra part-time help so that your helper can take better care of your kids. However, your helper also gave the excuse that she is homesick and wants to return to her boyfriend. You need to have a frank discussion with her because, even if you do take on extra help, is she still going to be homesick and want to leave? Better to sort it out now, so that you have time to make alternative arrangements with a new helper, preferably someone recommended to you who has experience with kids, before your baby comes along. Good luck!
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Dang, I was just thinking that about the unattendedbag post! I mean, what rock does one have to be sheltered under to think that all pregnancies are meticulously planned. If anything, most pregnancies are not, especially the early ones and with younger couples...
As for OP - congrats on your third, and no doubt although unexpected, you guys will have more than enough room in your hearts and home for the new addition. I reckon, the rest of it, it'll work out. I suggest paying the helper more, although I would say that your present helper is kinda wishy washy purely because she is missing her bf...give it a few months and its unlikely her bf will still be her bf, it just takes time! You are right in thinking of the arrangements you are...it will all work out, and if not, get another helper, one capable of doing the job and with experience with 3 kids.
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I would also be concerned about this helper's ability to cope once the baby is here. I do not think taking care of 2 children plus housework is too much work for someone whose job is that exactly. OP indicated her older child is in school (with provided lunch), and with 18 month old that presumably naps, is there not enough time to do the housework too?
Of course I don't know how much housework and other duties the OP is requesting, but from the the sounds of it, she's rather reasonable so I don't think she's asking to clean the entire house top to bottom with 5 course dinners everynight while taking care of the children.
Once the baby comes, you could be left in a real pickle if this current helper is still homesick. But then again....finding a new helper is a lot of work too and there's no guarantee the next will be better....well, this isn't a easy decision to make. Best of luck.
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Cooking is not a problem, its just 10 to mins. Heres a suggestion, have a stock of meats, vegetable etc. for a week. Ask your helper to clean all and divide it before putting in frigde. in that case, its easy to cook coz all is prepared. when she cook for dinner she can make more for tomorrows lunch. tidying is just a basic. she can make your children busy but ofcourse she have to look at them everytime or even if shes in toilet for cleaning she can talk to them, at least shes hearing them. Some helpers are smart and clever to do things in their own way. especially if the boss are not demanding.
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