Posted by
mtan
12 yrs ago
Hi there!
I have a very sweet looking, but very foul tempered domestic helper who has worked with my family for half a year and is driving me crazy!
There are many issues, but the latest is I was told by a neighbour that they bumped into our helper working part time during her day off. They hinted the "part time" work is not domestic. This comment came after a few neighbours commented on the strangeness of our helper leaving for day off "all dolled up like she is going partying". And whenever we have guests coming over, she will dress up and put on make up.
She is also wearing tight fitting and short T shirts, and short shorts at home.
I have had a talk with her requesting for more decent dressing, but it only worked for one day. I know what she does on her day off and how she dresses is her business, but I really don't want to end up with all the issues of infections and pregnancies!
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Well you could ask her not to dress up like a 'tart' when you have guests coming over, she obviously likes to flaunt herself.
If you have strong suspicions she is 'a working girl' on her day off, there is not really a lot you can do about that, as it is her choice, as much as it is annoying! what she does in her spare time.
The real issue I think is that her behaviour, foul temper etc is a problem, and yes if she is 'playing about' with various men on her day off, that is a worry, she is more likely to get an STD or become pregnant.
The possibility of her being a 'working girl' is only hearsay, which she would probably deny, and is difficult for you to prove 100%, and could not be used as the reason for dismissal.
The only option you have is to terminate her contract, as she is 'not fitting' your expectations, plus she shouldn't be foul tempered whilst working for you, she has no respect for you-or herself for that matter. I don't think many people would knowingly, or want to, employ a tart, who has no respect for the employer as a domestic helper- too much of a risk.
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mtan
12 yrs ago
Guess I can. I didn't ask her not to dress like a "tart". Just told her there is a major renovation project going on in our compound and with so many workers around, it is safer for her to wear loose fitting tops and longer shorts. Everyone around has been saying how sweet and pretty she looks, and she is enjoying the attention. She even needs to "powder her nose" before taking the dog out for its business!
I have read so much about DH pregnancies and the corresponding headaches on this forum, so am really afraid I might have to face the same. Otherwise, what she does and how she dolls up is her own problem.
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If she's employed as a full-time foreign domestic helper with your family, then doesn't working as a prostitute on her day off constitute a breach on her conditions of stay? Morals aside, but earning money from a part-time job on the side of the FDH employment is illegal.
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mtan
12 yrs ago
I know, it's just that it will be difficult for me to prove she is working unless she owns up to it - don't think I want to start stalking her !!!
A friend of mine faced a similar situation and questioned her helper, who claimed the man was her boyfriend. Then to spite her, the helper started added stuff to their food and getting all depresssed, sleep walking in her underwear, etc.. They had to pay her a lot of money to make her go (claimed the depression was caused by them).
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STDs are a real problem. One of my friends had a DH who was hospitalised for a few days with a 'urine infection' and then kept having to take off a day every couple of months to go to the public hospital outpatients. Turns out she had genital herpes and because she was so terrible at taking her medications, she kept having breakthroughs. She was in charge of two children including an infant under 1. Needless to say when her employer found out, her employment was terminated as my friend could not deal with the repeated days off, the lying and the risk to her children.
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Buy her simply a pair of Uniform and ask her to wear it always. And for make up let her do it. that is her face, let her enjoy decorating it.
for her part-time work while on day off or holidays. Not your business, you just make sure you take her signatures on a piece of paper for each and every holidays you gave her. if she would be unlucky and arrested while working on her day off. you will have paper to prove that it was her day off. again it would not be your business to control her "illegal" activities on her holidays, this should be done by immigration or police.
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mtan
12 yrs ago
Thank you all, for your replies.
If she has not been putting on uniform for the past months, I don't think she will agree to put on now. Do I have the right to demand?
Just today, she disappeared with my dog for 2 hours. She was supposed to let the dog out to do it's business before bed, which should have taken 2 minutes!
She came back with a big plastic bag. When questioned, said she decided to go for a walk with my dog, and bumped into her aunt who was barbrqueing near by, and her aunt has given her some food.
Taken for a fool! This time, I told her zi didn't believe her, and she slammed the door. Time to look for a new one.
Anyone with good Hellers to recommend??
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