Dissatisfaction

Hi,

Have you ever come across your maid(s) with bad attitude, emotional, disobedient, complaints about tiring of cooking and cleaning everyday, grievance, renege, denial... etc. Also, she compares to her ex-employers (rich Chinese entrepreneur and an Australian lawyer) who offered her $6000 for salary, gave her bank holidays, allowed her to off for rest when she's done her duties in daytime, extra $1000/month for personal allowances...etc..Whilst, I offer her $4500/mth including allowances plus a monthly $250 installment of her octopus card and she is allowed to utilize everything at home. I offer her a mini notebook and birthday bonus and CNY bonus. Dinner preparation needs 2-3 times a week, since her focus is on my son.

But she treats my son so well and likes my son lot. She does a good job at cooking, cleaning, taking care of petty cash and other basic requirements. I have no surveillance systems at home, never have black and white notes, fully trust on her ability and respect her.

I understand my situation isn't that worse compare to out there. Since I am a newer to employ a maid and her contract is going to end in August and she is going to 54years old. I would like to hear some advise on how I should deal with this.


Thanks,

flo

Flo, it looks like you are treating your FDH well, we had one who sometimes tried to compare previous employers, ours had such an easy time, with only a small dog to look after, that she told me she would look for extra work on a Saturday!she earned an above average wage, had most Saturdays and Sundays off, and never worked after 7pm.Oh! And had a sleep most afternoons.

Of course we told her she is not going to work part time else where, that was illegal, and we were not being party to that.

Our helper was just very greedy, and would 'try our patience' by saying, previous employer gave her this and that, or her friends employers gave extra money etc etc!!!!! She was very manipulative, and had been in HK a long time,24yrs, so knew all the tricks helpers could do. She had never finished a two year contract in all those 24 yrs. we managed to control her little whims, by knowing all he rules of employing a helper, we downloaded them off the HK Imm website, so when she tried to quote, she is entitled to various things, we could quote the rules, she thought as we were first time employers of a helper she could manipulate us, we simply told her, if you don't like it here find another employer.

We put up with petty theft, and when her contract with us was about to expire, we told her that we wouldn't be renewing it. She tried to find other easy employers,but, she didn't want to work for anybody but a westerner, didn't want to work for anybody who had more than one child-over the age of eight, and didn't want anybody with more than one little dog, so she didn't get another job, and went back to Fils for good, and we never wanted to employ another helper after her, once bitten twice shy!

I am SOOOOOO TIRED OF THIS ATTITUDE IN HK!!! "Maids" are human beings...they have feelings...they need to VENT! How many of us, non-domestic workers complain and bitch about our bosses, the long working hours, and our co-workers?


DOMESTIC WORKERS HAVE THE RIGHT TO BITCH, JUST LIKE THE REST OF US! Man, if I got paid $4500, and I have to clean someone's toilet and take care of their children AND have my boss talk about me on these forums, I would bitch about my boss too!


Man, if a white collar worker demands health care from their boss it is "fighting for their right" and it a domestic worker is asking for their basic rights it is "manipulating".


If your helper is doing a good job, but just wants to bitch that is fine. If ppl fired employees for bitching, no one in this world will have a job! If you're helper is stealing from you or abusing your child etc, then that is NOT FINE! Ppl, use your common sense! And if you can't handle a helper, don't get one!

Thanks Susie1 for ur sharing. I won't renew her contract. As an employer we pay for one's working ability and attitude towards work. As my senior said, we have no responsibilities to pay for an employee's emotion and comparison. Good luck to her if she could find one that fits her.


I would not compare my previous working experience once I accept a new one. Once I committed, I will do my best of best and no regrets, as well as no complaints.


Think it twice BJCC, I wish you could be an employer one day.

It seems from OP the helper is doing her job well enough.


If as an employer, you do not pay for "employee's emotion", then you should not expect her emotions to be under your control either.

szeszehung I guess you have never ever complained about your job. Such a good employee. You should get an award of some sort, especially when I have NEVER encountered anyone who has never bitched about their job before.


And I do employ a helper, and I understand that she is human and she will complain about me sometimes. BUT I am grateful for her doing a great job.


Although I think it is normal to think that employees can bitch about their bosses, you may have a different opinion. In this case, you are the employer...you can do whatever you want. If you can't stand your helper, then fire her. You don't need to come onto a forum and ASK people whether you should fire her or keep her. Obvisouly you are NOT an experienced employer.

Dear BJCC,


I am perplexed by your comment "You don't need to come onto a forum and ASK people whether you should fire her or keep her. Obvisouly you are NOT an experienced employer. " --- as the OP clearly indicated he/she is newer at employing a helper and has posted on an ADVICE Forum for....some advice!!


Dear szeszehung,


While I too have complained about my job, I don't do so to my boss. This is what friends and family are for. While it is normal to show emotion during work and be unhappy at times (we all have ups and downs), "disobedience", complaining about doing one's job functions, comparing to previous employers about how much better they are/were, are not acceptable actions to me.


Why did he/she leave the previous employers then if they were so good? And each employer and situation is differenct. The helper should have known upfront and if she agreed to the salary and job duties, then she should not complain.


Seems this helper is not a good fit for you -- she wants higher salary with less work. It is for you and her to work out if it's so unbearable to end earlier than when her contract is up in August.

Thanks Bjcc for your advise and sharing. Her emotions are pretty extreme. I will advise my boss to give me some time to get my duties done when necessary in a nice way. But i won't literally cry and shout at boss for complaining about the duties assigned. Besides, her duty is focusing on the baby not the adults. I manage my own households most of the time. Moreover, she likes showing her emotions in front of my baby and the whole family, instead of in a quite area. I certainly believe that ur helper wouldn't do that to you.. For salary wise, i did discussed with her if she needs more as she mentioned several times about her ex-employments.. She said money is not an issue. Just the duties are made her exhuasted. Since the commencement date, she agreed with the duties and compromised she could handle... I asked if she would like to resign months ago.. But she rejected.. And we had also discussed about her emotions yesterday too.. Just that she claimed she couldn't change.. And made me more confused is she wants to look after my son and asked me to hire another helper for her... and also request more other illegal stuff.. She concluded that she had no intension to end the contract...


She is good with no doubt.. But as per your and others advise, i won't continue her contract and i could just wish her luck to get one fit her requirements.. I could only offer what I could afford..


In the end, thanks again for all ur thoughts and advise. Much appreciated.

Thanks BananaMom, I was refering to being an "employer" period, not "newer at employing a helper". My point is that I don't understand why people treat helpers so differently from any other employees.


If I bitched to my boss' face and gave him attitude, he would not be on a forum asking for advice, he would straight up fire me.


And szeszehung, if that's her behaviour, then I think you made the right choice. There are better helpers out there. Just be very careful next time and check their references, especially when the helper will be around your children. I have seen many good helpers out there, and have heard horror stories too...when it comes down to hiring a helper, make sure you do your due dilligence, just like when you are hiring for anything else.