Terminate my helper or not

My helper has been with us for 8 months now. While I think she is honest and hardworking, she just cannot seem to be taught or remember things especially when it comes to cooking. She can forget an instruction a few minutes after it was given. She cannot follow recipes because she cannot adjust seasoning amount according to food portion or she will forget something. I bought this up with her and she said it may be due to an anesthetic overdose when she had her wisdom teeth taken out back in the Philippines. She said that even her friends notice it. She always seem to daydream or lost in her own thoughts. Although she is kind and patient to my young kids, I wouldn't trust her to look after them on her own.

While I can help out with minding kids since I am a stay at home mom, I am however starting a small business and work like part time at home. My helper spends whole afternoons 3-4hrs in the kitchen just to prep dinner and sometimes not even nice. I am slowly losing my temper, if I get a dollar for every 'I forgot' she says day in day out, I will be rich.

My else daughter has grown on her. But shall I terminate my helper?? She is someone who cannot perform her duties without reminders yet I hate to go through the trouble of looking for a new one. I keep telling myself hat there is no perfect helpers out there so that I can up up with her forgetfulness better. I. The beginning she can even forget to buy some of the groceries even though she had the list with her! Can forgetfulness be mend as they work their brain more? She also can't do menu plan properly...

Terminate her, she does not serve your purpose and she is an employee!

Would your boss put up with this behaviour - NO

Helpers are supposed to help not hinder, yes all helpers have there own issues due to there upbringing but there are some good ones around, you just need to pick the right one and explain the requirement before hiring. Trial them at cooking, writing and a reading test ext. This shows how capable they are especially when kids are involved.

8 months I think is long enough to be able to work independently . As for her forgetfulness, that can be attributed to what she said it was, or to old age, perhaps? BUT then again a conscientious worker will do something about it. i.e--write a note and carry it with her at all times, tick off the list what has been done.


Can you live with a more "alert" helper that may not be as honest and as good worker as she is? I would suggest a final talk with her and see how her "memory" can be improved. Let her understand that unless something positive is going to happen, you will have to let her go as you need t have that peace of mind when you're away from your kids.


@jgb.... what does helpers upbringing got to do with the op? and what's " a reading test ext"?

My real suggestion is to sit her down and lay down the rules


Clearly she is not a bad person, so indeed it could be a lot worse. She is honest, hardworking and your kids like her. I think these are strong arguments in favour of her.


On the downside, I think you mingle quite a few things into one pot. First I would ask myself what is most important: kids, cooking or cleaning. You will seldom find a helper that ticks all three boxes, so ask yourself which one you cannot compromise on.


If kids are her most important task and you indeed cannot trust her with the kids (have you actually tried?), then that’s a fail right there.


If cooking is most important and she cannot menu-plan, do groceries and cook according to recipes, then that is a fail.


Sometimes we get carried away since we spend so much time with them, but from a pure employee management perspective, list down what is most important and what skills are required and then measure her against it.

Even better if you give her a second chance by explaining what is more and what is less important to you, what skills you expect and how she currently performs against that. Usually employees work much better when they know their priorities and expectations of the boss.

^ agree!.


also if i may add, lay an ultimatum that if this continues on happening then she may have to be terminated. make her understand your situation on why are you telling this issue and i hope she would snap out of it and prove that she's worth the patience that you have given her during these rough times.

Thank you all soo much!!! I will have a big talk with her when both of us are calm :)

Agree with cookie, you have to work out what is the most important quality to you. Very few helpers can be that 'super' helper which we are all looking for.


I have a helper who has an amazing attitude with kids, is honest and has a lot of initiative BUT can not cook to save herself. She can not adjust seasoning, forgets to add ingredients in despite a recipe being given and has ruined very expensive ingredients. But to be honest, cooking aside she is a super helper, because the cooking is not important to me, I have someone else for that.


If your helper is just bad at everything, children, cooking, domestic chores then although she is kind hearted and honest, you might just have to let her go. If however she is good at one of the above, then perhaps you may have to readjust your expectations.


Goodluck!

You can turn a blind eye to many things, but if it comes to responsibility of children and trusting her with them, you have your answer...