Helper in distress



ORIGINAL POST
Posted by setanta 10 yrs ago
I was in the supermarket today.

There was a Chinese lady shouting at her helper- 'you don't buy this one - you buy that one' etc.

The girl was crying. It was horrible.

When I left fusion, the girl was sitting on her own - still balling her eyes out. (Her employer had gone to church, ironically)

I asked her if she was ok. She was very unhappy and said her employer does not let her have her phone when she is working.

I got her number and said I'd call her next Saturday (her day off).

Of course, I can't vouch for her - but she seemed sweet and her situation is certainly genuine.

If anyone can help this poor girl find a new employer please let me know.

Cheers.

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COMMENTS
pkw888 10 yrs ago
Unless she's totally new in HK & hasn't yet established the usual internal network amongst all FDH's, then the best & quickest option for her is to pay a quick a visit to the nearest employment agency (or better yet several agencies to speed things up) ... they will be most eager to help find her a new employer!

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NuinHK 10 yrs ago
In my experience interacting with FDHs, I realized that many of them do not have adequate English skills for effective communication. In this case, the DH claimed that her employer does not allow her to have her phone when working. My guess is that she's not allowed on the phone (take or make calls) when working. That I think is pretty reasonable to expect of the DH.


Also let's face it, being loud does not mean shouting. Even though HKers complain about mainland Chinese tourists being loud talkers, they do not realize that they themselves (HKers) are notoriously loud talkers.


Any one who's had decent experience learning a foreign language should have gone through the phase in which s/he speaks loudly in the foreign language in an attempt to be understood. I would venture to guess the employer probably has limited English herself. Although HK was a British colony for over a century during which English was made official for business transactions and HKers in general have a misguided sense of superiority of their urban sophistication as manifested in their English skills, their English is in fact found wanting. I could come up with other reasons why the helper was so upset but thought it would be best to stick to incident itself just in case any self-righteous persons come out swinging with PC crap.

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pkw888 10 yrs ago
Good observations, NuinHK ... same reason I stuck to addressing the incident itself! :)

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scorpio01 10 yrs ago
"HKers in general have a misguided sense of superiority of their urban sophistication as manifested in their English skills, their English is in fact found wanting."


well said !

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GemmaW 10 yrs ago
I've been told by agents that helpers nowadays are resigning from their jobs more freely in the last few years and they have no problems securing another job, even without references. Most cite irreconcilable differences with the employers. These resigned helpers are also choosy so many do not wish to work for a large family with many kids, with pets, in the New Territories, with another helper etc. She could and should look for another job.

Even my own helper threatens me that I could terminate her if I don't like her and it could be a simple thing I've said like the minibus right outside my daughter's rugby goes straight to the train station, there is no need to take a taxi. Didn't blame her because given our communication barrier, she does misunderstand me but such pointing out was enough to get a threat from her. Her work is only so so - I always have to do the major cleaning in every room during the weekends but she at least makes sure that my 3.5 year old eats her meals and goes to school on time. I have asked the agent to speak to her after a few threats like that and the agent agreed to talk to her (didn't help) but the agent also warned me that it isn't easy to find a helper, even the ones who resigned unless I want to get an overseas one.

So I'm sure she'll find lots of good employers out there. Helpers are in demand now, as I'm being told often from my agent.


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asiaXdreamy 10 yrs ago
Just take a look on the issue in a more fair and reasonable way.


Well, the scenario was taken at a glance , just like viewing several frames without watching the whole movie. We all don't know what's happening between the duo.


Maybe the employer is too harsh as assumed or maybe there were some repeatedly wrong , or "threat" as GemmaW so quoted, between them.


It is just like watching a couple fighting with each other, we don't even know the whole story. Now, the audience commented.


By the way, I thank EVERY EMPLOYER SHOULD PAY DUE REGARD to whoever work for you as they are not slave but human.


However, the control is tightened now. Unreasonable self-resigned or being terminated many times ( not by only one employer, as why so many employers feel the same/terminated the same? there should be an adverse reason), that would be harder and harder now. Some agencies were making money by provoking the fire between the employers and employees, and receive commission again and again. The authority and embassy are doing something.


So, both sides may pay due respect to each other and stop the unnecessary fight.

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RevJim 10 yrs ago
It is interesting how some of you try to explain away the employers behavior. I would like to think most employers treat helpers very well, but abusive employers reflect badly on everyone. The fact the girl is in tears is a clear sign of an abusive employer. If I had witnessed this I would have recoded the event on my phone and reported this incident. If the employer is comfortable behaving like this in public, imagine what is going on in the home.

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asiaXdreamy 10 yrs ago
The rage of being a helper which might be caused by some badexperience. But don't provoke the fight by spreading such message invarious thread without knowing the fact. As mentioned, no one knows the whole story. It is encouraged that we should report to authorities if we directlyexperience badly. This is called direct evidence in laws.There are many "in tears", employers or employees. And some "in-tears" cases turned out to be criticized by thecourts that some facts were exaggerated or even fabricated. I meanby both employers and employees. There were court cases with written records. Individual incident doesn't mean the whole nationact like this. Similar to the following hyperlink, I do not think thatevery employee is like this. https://youtu.be/08TYtXW9xaw?si=m-5oD11Al7WsGzlb Be considerate to each other and the world wouldbe better. We just need to put trust to each other and do not provokethe fight or play saint if we don't know the whole fact.

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RevJim 10 yrs ago
Setanta witnessed the event. What happened is not in question. Did I not state that most employers probably treat their employees very well?I also stated that had I witnessed the event myself I would have recorded it on my phone and reported it to authorities. That would allow the police to decide for themselves whether the incident was abuse or not.According to China daily 18% of domestic helpers suffer physical abuse from their employers, another 6% are sexually abused, and a full 25% "suffered violations to their contracts such as receiving lower pay than promised, no time off, or seizure of passports"The above statistics prove that the vast majority of employers are honorable and abide by the laws regarding employing domestic helpers, but 25% of employers abuse their employees in some way. That 25% that are in violation of law reflect badly on the rest of us. They should not be tolerated and should be reported when we witness or know of abusive behavior.Reference:http://www.chinadailyasia.com/opinion/2014-01/23/content_15114480.html

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asiaXdreamy 10 yrs ago
Critically reviewed the content. How large is the sampling ?By what method and from what objects did the statistics come from? I found the source, and it's just.. and did not want to create another argument. If you run a survey on employees that " Do you think that you are underpaid?" You would get a probable and expected answers.As pointed out by you, most of the others are good, so that some cases may warrant special attention and we should always support the ones who are really being treated badly. No matter you are employers or employees, ones should first communicate with each other with respect and honesty, then find out the mediation (if so needed), or seek authorities' assistance (if really needed).If the statistics is really true, don't hesitate, call someone to defend for your rights immediately to stop the deprivation. There is no reason to let crazy things go crazier every day (a sentence to both sides)As you've clearly pointed, most employers probably treat their employees very well, and most employees probably act sensibly under the preset framework with high integrity.

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RevJim 10 yrs ago
I'm not sure why you would assume that MFMW would use such poor wording in a research study. This is a group that petitions the government for reform and such sloppy wording in a study would cause them to lose their credibility.In many areas of this study the respondent would be more likely to be embarrassed to admit they were abused. These types of statistics usually under report abuse. In any case I am sure a proper standard of deviation was used to deal with potential errors.

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asiaXdreamy 10 yrs ago
Same question if we quote facts.How is the coverage and by what means and questions the survey is done. would like to study.Need not to quote the survey, we should treat human like human and pay better human with better pay.

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asiaXdreamy 10 yrs ago
I may talk in brief and straight forward, cruel in criticising but from the bottom of my mind I understanding helpers from other places are great and the occupation is holy, with sacrifice and dedication to their families. They suffer from boredom and being lonely away from their families just to earn money to support their families as some of them have elder family members to take care and children born at helper younger age. It is a great and decent job. They are not underclass in Hongkong. People look down themselves with lower self esteem because of how to view the matters through a different len from a different angle.However, only rely on the employer side to treat them better is not the only way out. We should align both sides' expectation by advocating them to be better emoloyers and better employees. We cannot neglect the facts that there are nasty ones on both sides. That create the tension over the media and rumours against each other with mutual mistrust.However, don't get me wrong , my.understanding is as follows.Helpers are contributing locals and expat families like us. They are great, most of them are kind mothers supporting the livelihood of their families(because of the relatively poorer job evironment or government policies in home countries, not the fault of hirers).They should be better paid if they are worthy for, and trated like human and like a family member. Both sides have the responsibilities to pave mutual trust.Do not abuse the kindness of the opposite side. We should educate employers for better management and also employees for expectation alignment.All in all, helpers are good. If not, we don't need to hire.

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