Interviewed a helper terminated by her boss



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ORIGINAL POST

Posted by hybridE4t 5 yrs ago
She has only been to HK for three months as a DH for the first time. Unfortunately she was fired two days ago by her boss - she told me that her boss (wife) had a very bad temper and she kept throwing things at her for very small mistakes she made. She worked at my place for half day as trial and she seems nice. I've asked her employer's contact number for reference. Has anyone experienced similar thing before? Her previous boss probably won't say anything nice of her. What shall I do?

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COMMENTS

asiaXdreamy 5 yrs ago
Yes, as far as practicable, it is the most efficient way to know about the true comments.

This is also one of the most popular excuse to let the next employer stop thinking of asking for reference. I believe some of the employers are good and some are bad, of course. If the previous one has bad temper, from the tone and choices of words you can also feel the same. Then you can put aside those bad comments against your potential next helpers. But in many cases, you may learn more about WHY THE PREVIOUS ONE DOESN'T LIKE. Be fair, if the points the ex-employer made is pointless, as I have experienced, I will still go ahead to hire the helper. However, in many other occasions, I also received their comments like....."be good at first and keep talking on phone and do nothing bit by bit", "smoking", "bring others to home".....It is another window for you to judge which side is telling the truth rather than listening to one sided story.

I always put my contact opened for helpers' next employer to ask. Some conversation can help them get the job more easier as they found the helper matched their need, and I honestly addressed that every helper has different strengths, doesn't suit me is not equal to doesn't fit every others. Some conversation also help the employer know how to pick. I think it is also good for both sides, if they are not matched to each others and they know it before signing, they can save time to bear each others and make a happier match in the vast market.

So, if you have the chance, having direct talk is more efficient than reading the standardized praising reference. (if the employer wrote, they should praise as the helper is still working for them....and why wasting the effort to write bad comments as they could opt for not writing any word.) Such talk can also test the authenticity of good writing reference, as in common sense, someone committed to write good reference should have no or at least less negative comments when you talk directly.

And, believe your own feeling and judgment, rather than just listening. Use your eyes and heart to feel. After all, he/she is your helper.


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sunshine929 5 yrs ago
No helper is going to admit that they were fired for their own mistakes.

Beware of the helper who says that the boss has a bad temper.

Employers spend a lot of money on paying agency fees. There has to be a good reason why she was fired.

Also, anyone trying for a job would be on their best behaviour.

Ask the helper to give the boss' telephone number. If she refuses, then you know something is up.

If she says, the boss doesn't want to be contacted, why would it matter, she has already left.

Ask her to show you the old contract. It would have the boss' details on. You could google.

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marje 5 yrs ago
Helpers are poor. They spend also a lot of money and effort , leaving their families behind and have to face the hardships working abroad in a different culture and people.
F or no reason, they will never leave their job if they are happy with it.

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lagrue 5 yrs ago
I agree with asiaxdreamy 100%, speaking to the ex employer is of paramount importance. Helpers as Marje say are poor and in some ways desperate with only 2 weeks after a termination to find a new job. They will say anything to secure a new job, particularly as the deadline for the expiry of their visa approaches. I would be very wary of helpers who give a complete sob story and who refuse for it to be verified.

Sure, as Marje says a helper will not leave their job if they are happy with it, BUT not all helpers are fit to be a domestic helper, especially as the demands can be extremely varied. Perhaps they don't like their employer not allowing them to chat on the phone all day (happened to me with my first helper in Hong Kong).......I'm talking about being on the phone up to 6 hours a day! Perhaps they have no chemistry with children, are unable to maintain basic hygiene, can not be taught how to cook, have committed crimes, have a bad habit of telling white lies when they make mistakes (cultural problem of people from SE Asia, E Asia to save face and avoid confrontation) ect.

No one is saying don't hire someone with a terminated contract, just talk to the ex employer, and work out whether the problems they had with the helper would be problems for you. Relying on the helper to be 100% fair in recounting why she was terminated in foolhardy to say the least (anyone notice the HUGE conflict of interest). Relying on gut instinct can also be risky when entrusting the care of your home to someone else. At the very least ensure by contacting the ex employer that the helper has not engaged in anything illegal e.g stealing money, forging checks ect.

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lagrue 5 yrs ago
I agree with asiaxdreamy 100%, speaking to the ex employer is of paramount importance. Helpers as Marje say are poor and in some ways desperate with only 2 weeks after a termination to find a new job. They will say anything to secure a new job, particularly as the deadline for the expiry of their visa approaches. I would be very wary of helpers who give a complete sob story and who refuse for it to be verified.

Sure, as Marje says a helper will not leave their job if they are happy with it, BUT not all helpers are fit to be a domestic helper, especially as the demands can be extremely varied. Perhaps they don't like their employer not allowing them to chat on the phone all day (happened to me with my first helper in Hong Kong).......I'm talking about being on the phone up to 6 hours a day! Perhaps they have no chemistry with children, are unable to maintain basic hygiene, can not be taught how to cook, have committed crimes, have a bad habit of telling white lies when they make mistakes (cultural problem of people from SE Asia, E Asia to save face and avoid confrontation) ect.

No one is saying don't hire someone with a terminated contract, just talk to the ex employer, and work out whether the problems they had with the helper would be problems for you. Relying on the helper to be 100% fair in recounting why she was terminated in foolhardy to say the least (anyone notice the HUGE conflict of interest). Relying on gut instinct can also be risky when entrusting the care of your home to someone else. At the very least ensure by contacting the ex employer that the helper has not engaged in anything illegal e.g stealing money, forging checks ect.

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lagrue 5 yrs ago
True case, happened to my close friend in the last 12 months, her domestic helper driver lost her licence for speeding and a car accident where she rear ended a stationary vehicle. She refused to pay for the car damage, she acted up to get herself terminated and was employed immediately by a new employer as a driver even though she would not have a valid drivers licence anymore. Too bad the next employer will work out what is wrong only when the next accident happens and insurance won't pay! Employers beware.

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marje 5 yrs ago
That"s true...there are helpers like that...irresponsible and abusive...better no helper than to have such...but I know how could it be hard without them..many employers are still lucky they found good ones.

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marje 5 yrs ago
I was an employer too of 7 helpers back in the Phil's.when the business was still good. Now yes, as a domestic helper in hongkong and once worked in Korea for more than 10yrs. I can relate to both, helper/employer relationships.
But for me, as a worker I always make sure I satisfy my employer with my honesty and hard work that in return it benefiit me a lot.

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marje 5 yrs ago
That"s true...there are helpers like that...irresponsible and abusive...better no helper than to have such...but I know how could it be hard without them..many employers are still lucky they found good ones.

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asiaXdreamy 5 yrs ago
ha ha... some helpers just tell lies and insult the intelligence of the listeners. Actually telling truth would be better as a human being and as the caretaker for the home and children , morally and in common sense.

Sometimes, telling truth would gain more than telling the useless lies.

So, be honest, and be considerate is the key for maintaining good relationship with people, no matter you are employer or employee.


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ShazP 5 yrs ago
The employer being angry..abusive..shouting...crazy are common complains from a Helper who has been terminated or quit their employ. You will hear it from many helpers. Over the years, I have learnt not to fall for that immediately.
Agree, speak to the employer, you can judge from that if the employer is insane, an angry person or just plain honest.
My helper is just completing her contract with me and I have refused to sign another 2 years with her. It has been hard putting up with her but I did anyway as I have been too busy with work and my kids are grown.
I have been hearing that my helper speak ill about me now, saying similar stuff that I have been shouting/ angry at her and therefore she will not do a contract with me!!!

Sadly, it leaves a bitter taste. At the end of 2 years it now has come to this.
Therefore, speak to the employer. Whatever information she gives you, it will make you decide if you want her or you can manage her differently. A reference always helps to learn about someone who will be living in your home...

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marje 5 yrs ago
Seems employers here are always right...where is the helper's right ? Why so many helpers here are so desperate? So the employers as well...can't it be a give and take relationships.like neither can be easy without thevother.?
I myself as a helper, I help my employer as she help me in return..simple.

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asiaXdreamy 5 yrs ago
Yeah, respect to each other is the key to build up better relationship.

Yet, the key to know better the picture is still..


S.P.E.A.K. T.O. T.H.E. E.M.P.L.O.Y.E.R.



Hearing both sides' stories. Judge by yourself.


Fair enough.

Cheer up !

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hybridE4t 5 yrs ago
Hi many thanks to all of you who have replied. We took your advise and insisted in talking to her previous employer as a condition of hiring her. We are glad we did... it was a completely different story and the lady has also shown us some photos as proof..

Many thanks again and it is true that SPEAK TO THE EMPLOYER is very important.... we were desperate to hire someone and that we felt sorry for her that she was treated badly..

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