Helper is pregnant and we want to support



Posted by ELLAW 3 yrs ago
Our helper has just recently announced that she is pregnant. She has been with us for 4 years and has really been great, so we have decided to support her if she decides to have the baby (she has told me she is undecided and considering an abortion). If she does decide to have the baby, weare willing to have her back after she gives birth, provided the baby stays in her home country with her family. However we are afraid that this can become a very tricky situation, both for her and for us, because the father denies been the father and will not acknowledge the child, let alone offer his support (financial or otherwise. He is an expat living in Hong Kong).

If she decides to have the baby, we are willing to support our maid through this process (to an extent) as she has become part of the family, but we also want to advise her of what is the best option for her. If she does finally have the baby, there are a few points that we would need to understand, so we can also decide in which ways we are willing (or not willing) to help her. We would appreciate if someone could enlighten us and clarify the following matters:

1. Giving birth. She says she still has not decided whether she wants to give birth here in HK, or go back to her country to do so. if she decides to go back, we would need to give her an extra leave time and this would be unconvenient for us. Is it in her best interest to have the baby in HK or in her country? will the baby be considered a permanent resident / HK national if she gives birth here?

2. Obtaining support from the father. If wors comes to worst and the father refuses to acknowledge the child and support her, what are her options to force him to support the baby? I understand that in Hong Kong she can get the court to issue and order to the father to take a DNA test, and provided that the results are positive, to force him to pay child support. Does this also apply to her as she is not a premanent resident? What are the chances of this claim succeding and her getting the support she deserves? does it make a difference if the baby is born in Hong Kong or in her home country for this? and finally, can anyone recommend a lawyer that is willing to help and perhaps offer their services for free?

3. As her employer, what should we be wary about? what would you do in our place? as I said we want to support her, but we would like to understand what would this mean for us. Has anyone had a similar issue and had the helper come back after the pregnancy and continued working?

Thank you very much for your replies.

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asiaXdreamy 3 yrs ago
First, there is no fantasy for domestic helper to give birth here, as the actual difference is the cost of living for giving birth and onwards livelihood as compared to giving birth in her home country ---- since case law as ruled that there will be no fixed place of abode to her child.

There is no mandatory law to face a man to conduct DNA test except in a rape case. Don't put too much hope for the methodology as suggested in your message for testing who is the father.

Moreover, when you "support" her, your family may have to bear her "expectation " issues. If
i were you, I would practically ask her if she loses everything ....."the father". "the right of abode".. will she pursue her choice? If yes, then she has to face.

Many filipino girls have fantasy to get a western one to take her out but in most of the scenarios, those "men" meet in such situation would just like to have a free one-night-stand rather than bearing the parental responsibility of their own products.

Wake up, girls !

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Baap 3 yrs ago
1. I don't know if the kid will have HK citizenship. If yes, it might make sense to have the baby here. But you need to check if she can have the baby in the government hospital. Otherwise it's incredibly expensive. If she has the baby in Phil she might need 3 months until she can come back. If she has it here you will need to set aside a room for her and the baby?

2. Yes, I am sure you can force the father to have a DNA test. It doesn't matter if she is in Phil or here. Though of course in Phil it will take longer, since the legal process would be more complicated. Yes, of course if he is the father he has to pay child support, which means she can comfortably retire in the Phils :)

City councils offer free legal advise once a week or so. You can go there with your helper. Better if you go, or you might have someone like Asiaxdreamy laughing at their faces.

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asiaXdreamy 3 yrs ago
Just to share the alert to the community about "think before you do" .

There is no laughing in such stories,after all , the children suffer.

I had a helper with the same suffering, if you don't mind , drop your contact and i shall ask she to whatsapp or even phone you directly about what happened to her with a runaway expat father.

There is a responsibility here to talk to educate those who might have fantasies. We are not asking people not to pursue their dreams, but we have to point out the practicability and cruel reality.

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mars2012hk 3 yrs ago
To your last point on 1., the answer is no. The child will not be a PR unless the mother is a PR and - if confirmed that the father is not a Chinese national - the child will not be hongkongese either.

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