Expectations for Domestic Helper w/ Child?

Posted by outkast_3000 59 days ago
For the past couple of weeks I’ve been observing how our helper is with my 20 month old daughter I’m off at work. My wife is stay at home, but our daughter is an early riser and we do ask the helper to handle around 2 hours in the morning so that my wife can get a bit more shut eye (generally 6:30am-8:30am). I’m off to work by 7am myself so can’t be much assistance.

While there have been no safety issues or anything, I’ve been struck by how cold and stand-off-ish she is with my daughter. When we’re around she makes a show of singing and talking to her, but when we’re not around, she sits in the corner checking her phone occasionally while my daughter sort of wanders about.
I know I’m not paying for an early childhood educator, but I just found it odd at the complete absence of engagement or interaction. Our expectations aren’t that she teach her anything per se (numbers, alphabet, etc.), but I also think it’s important to at least be responsive to her. Are most helpers like this? I know it’s easy for me to say this, but I don’t think we run her into the ground with other household duties. By 8:30am my wife is there to take care of our daughter.

For the record I’ve been observing her through the home security cameras and she is fully aware of them and knows that we check in from time to time - so this isn’t a game of “gotcha”.

Anyhow, her contract is coming up, and we’ve thought about hiring someone warmer and more cheerful who will actually play and interact with our daughter. However, this is our first helper and we have little experience. Is our helper kind of par for the course when it comes to childcare? Are my expectations unreasonable or unfair?

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To start with...you expectations are valid and rational, there is nothing wrong in the basic expectation you are having from helper. Easy way to justify, at your work if you dont give attention to the project your are working and not showing special interest in project your boss or management will either fire you or will show his dissent towards you.

Your baby which is most important for you is your helpers project for which you pay her. If she misses to fullfill any of your requirement towards baby you have all the moral rights to either fire her or show your dissent. Pls do not tolerate any kind of negligence of bad attitude from helpers. You are paying her and she is there to earn money she is not doing charity so she should know the requirements clearly and follow.

Remember one thing if you provide a situation where your helper knows that you have seen her slacking and dint complain, she will see this as new normal.

I have had this terrible experience where we had to change our attitude to please our helper but at end she emotionally hurt us a lot as most of they just see you as employers who pay rather than family.

But on contrary there are lot of very good, warm and professional helpers, finding one is matter of luck. Do not tolerate stupidity from helpers immediately let her go and find another one. Never ever tolerate negligence towards kids.

After my horribly unprofessional helper left, now i found new one who is a wonderful person. Just a suggestion, I m not sure it will work for you, try hiring someone 40+ they are generally compassionate and less aggressive.


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Chenfran 18 days ago
Totally agree. Hire someone who is on the older side and preferably has kids of their own. Make it clear upfront that childcare is involved. Good luck!

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chunster 10 days ago
omg if she is like that with cctv there, imagine if you didnt have any cameras around, she will probably be sleeping or messing abt.

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