You get what you pay for...

being treated as regular employee is much better at least for me.. i keep some semblance of privacy..


i have been with the family i work for, for 12 months and i dont know anything about them other than their personal habits i see in everyday life.. and i prefer it that way and so do they. we have a silent understanding that i am an employee and they are the boss. we are on friendly terms but are not friends. they keep their private life private and i keep mine.. the things they know about me are those i put down in my bio data.. we have this respect for each other as human beings..


they pay me to do the job and i do it.. in return they allow to use their things ie washer, (i wash my clothes about once a week), i can use the landline phone to make personal calls..


it all depends on the person self discipline... im still shy to use other things in the house even tho they said i could..


i buy my own stuff ie toothpaste and bath soap, etc. and i dont expect them to buy for me. but they do provide from time to time..


they have their moments from time to time (who doesnt anyway??) i just keep quiet and smile.. even if they would shout at me for no reason.. i dont take it personally.. i have been shouted at in my previous jobs (office) so its normal i think.. esp if the boss if loaded with some problems.. the mood goes away after she/he have shouted :D


its a matter of people skills...

It's not just helpers who get yelled at and have to keep quiet. I was definitely expected to be 'cooperative' with my principal in my teaching job and I know my husband says everyone is yelled at at his work, including him (he is a banker).

Primrose,


I agree with you that many of us (me included) spend a lot of time here winging about things that we could leran to live with or change Unfortunately, I don't think tat extra pay means better performance. We paid our last DH 50% more than she had been earning, gave her 2 days a week off and paid for 3 trips home a year. I mistakenly thought that if we made the job attractive and treated her with respect that she would realise that it was in her interests to work hard to keep her job. Part of the reason for the increase was, however, that our house is much bigger than the apartment that she used to look after. In short, I was wrong.


This time, I am playing things differently. I am sticking with the salary, but only giving a second day off as a reward every now and then. I could not care less about how many times she used the washing machine, how much food she eats, and I will put a phone/tv etc. in her room, but I am not going to confuse 'treating with respect' with being taken for a ride.


I must confess that what jbebeb says about the whole charity case thing is valid. I would not have tolerated an employee in London disregarding my instructions, but somehow I put up with it because of my guilt about DH salaries (in sterling terms). My attitude was condescending.


I think that rather than getting what you pay for, you get what you expect (assuming that you are not unreasonable). Just be fair and professional, make your expectations clear and you are much more likely to have a successful relationship. Do not think that a 'good' salary will 'buy' a wonderful helper.

Mrs Miggins, very valid points in both posts! Too many DHs play the poor me card, yes there are some good ones but far too many not so good who will take as much as they can with very little given back!

There is a market for everything. HK DHs are the highest paid in all Asian countries. A college graduate here in a good corporate job only gets paid slightly over $10,000 and they have to pay for everything. People are paid for what they are capable of doing. Maids are maids. Of course they should be treated with respect. But a maid is only worth that much.. Try to raise the min. to $5000 there won't be a big market for them. Just like us, bosses will pay you more if your market value is high, otherwise, you get what you are worth. HK average families don't make very much. If you are an rich expat and somehow want to pay a lot, that is your choice.. Get in touch with reality!!

Imported beer at my local shop is only $3 a can. To me that is ridiculously cheap, considering the effort that goes into making it, shipping it, etc. Should I pay more for it, becasue I can afford to? No, because the price is set at a market level. The shopkeeper is happy to sell it to me for $3 - otherwise he would be in another business.


If you want to pay more than the minimum for a helper then that's fine. My boss pays me twice as much as most of the people in my office (completely different job nature, mind) and I do far less work. You don't always get what you pay for. Paying a helper the minimum salary doesn't guarantee a bad helper, and vice versa.

You know what I don't understand? Primrose, on this thread you've described what you provide for your DH - her room, food etc etc. But 9 days ago you wrote on another thread under "Women-only" that you've never had a full- time live-in helper??!! That you just have some one come in to clean twice a week...


Which is it? You know, having a part-time is a completely different ball game. If you only have a live-out part-timer, how can you comment on how people should manage their live-in helpers?

Well spotted.


It's all gone very quiet........

All very strange.