Posted by
ellie55
19 yrs ago
She dropped the picture from her wallet without herself knowing,i picked it up,was shocked surprised to see my child's picture.I know this could be a very small matter,she has been with us for over a year and we seem to get along well,perhaps she loves my child so much she took it for keepsake.But to discover a small matter like this one,to some people(quite a big matter to me since the trust is broken.)...what should i do?is only a picture right,i shouldnt be worked up?
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I also needed her help now since second baby is on the way,should i just pretend nothing's happen??
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yes she stolen it secretly.i had one prev helper who stole our family's photo and even claimed she fallen for my husband.so this issue disturbs me a lot.
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Is this a photo that you consider especially precious or is it one of your "many photos"? I have a lot of photos (many duplicates) of my son lying around my living room. If my helper took one without permission, I would not consider it a big deal. She probably just likes your child and likes to show her friends what he/she looks like. Now, if she says that she loves your husband and carries a picture of him around, that's a different matter...
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I agree with john, you had a bad experience with a previous helper and this could cloud your judgement.Since the second baby is on the way , you do need help, do you really want to train a third helper?Treat it as a trivial matter unless something further develops
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well,she took it ,(we think),because she likes the child.(i just dont like the idea of something s taken without permission,esp what had happened before with the prev dh.)
Roger is right that i needed her now since the second baby is on the way,my husband thinks we should treat it as a trival matter ,but be more wary of her in future.
She works hard and we get along well,so i should probably just keep her under observation.
I agree with aqsm.The ex dh stole our photos,and cuts out his picture,sow discord betw my family and husband against me.Because she is such a sweet angel in front of us/me,there were some unpleasant in the family.we fired her after my husband told me something isnt right about her,(was with us for 2 mths plus.)we also later found her half nude photo taken by someone.she had a son ,we felt pity for her because she was divoured.Wrong judgement ,huh?
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Ellie,
If you like her and she works well, you might just let things be. The important part is that she takes good care of your child. Especially if another baby is on the way.
Maybe you could give her another photo of your child as a gift for her and tell her that if she wanted a photo or anything else, next time to ask before taking. My helper recently saw me printing photos of my baby and asked if she could have one to show her friends. I think it's great that my helper cares about my baby enough to carry her photo around. If you think that is why your helper took the photo, congrats. Good luck!
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ShazP
19 yrs ago
Ellie,
Like Momster, my DH too asked for a picture of my daughter when I was printing them out & I gave it to her happily.
Your DH should not have taken the photo without your permission. Talk to her & let her know that she can ask for things like that, but she cannot just take them. Like momster wrote, give her a photo of your baby to show your DH that you dont have a problem with her, but expect her in future to do things the right way.
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thank you all,now i have a better idea of how to handle the situation.
about printing the pictures...i like to know are they very much clearer of same or better quality ,cheaper than going to the shop?
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Life
19 yrs ago
Let me re-kindle this fire. I just interviewed a bunch of maids. One told me that she could take care of babies. She then proceded to pull out of her purse and show me a couple of babies (I assume twins) that are obviously no her own. She may be using it as a sort of do-it-yourself recommendation.
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before ..when we hired helpers,agencies always claimed they have lotsa experience in handling babies.take my for eg,if her contract ends with us,she goes look for another new employer,she too will tell them,she has 'experience' with toddler,actual fact is im the one at home handling the kids while she do the housework.
they will do anything to get a job,at the expense of many employers who will be wasting their time with them.but i guess each to their survival,more money better life!
my gf's maid is very good at taking care of her child,and the day my gf decided to quit her job to take care of her child,her maid started playing emotionals games..ie,crying and tantrums,already.
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I totally agree with Mrs Miggins.
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WWcC
19 yrs ago
I dont have a maid and I dont have children but for what its worth and a total outsider's point of view. She took some photos, you're not happy about it, should you think it trivial and/or ignore it. What's the problem with being honest with her. That's what trust is all about, isn't it. Speak to her, ask her why she took it. If she has a good reason, so be it, if not, explain you dont like her doing this etc etc. Why ignore it and pretend it doesnt happen. Be straight with your amah, like you would with your friends, family etc. I really dont understand why some people want to treat these girls differently. How would you like if your employer spotted something he/she didnt like but held a grudge without even asking you.
Sit down with a cuppa coffee, talk about it, sort out her reasoning, dont jump to conclusion or judge her wrongly. As you say you need her just as much as she probably needs her job. Be straight and the air will be cleared. You'll feel better when you know the truth and know where you stand specially as new baby is coming along. Easy-peezy! Good luck.
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ladies i ahve a question.So,ellie 's maid drop her pictures accidentally.For me,i intentionally searches my maid wallet after reading this thread.The action is unhonourable but to my surprise,me too found some pictues of our son,taken without asking.
What would you do?Should i be questioning her?...knowing i shouldnt have search her things without permission,in which case,im also at fault.but i would really want to clarify the matter.help!
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Yes, you're at fault. If you go through someone's wallet and find things you don't want to see, that's just bad luck. Don't go snooping next time.
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Life
19 yrs ago
too funny.. too funny.. you are just as bad as your maid. But then again, 'birds of the same feather"...
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well finally decided to 'forget' about the matter tempoary until the day she will resigned.keep the peace....
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Stealing is stealing. First it's a picture. What next? Remember - it always starts with small things. She may care for your child but what she did showed disrespect to you. My DH asked for a picture of my daughter but then after that (when I'm at work), she would dress my daughter up and took tons of pictures of her. She showed me some of them. She didn't think there was any harm in it but I was quite uncomfortable abt it esp when she told me she gave copies to her friends. I talked to her abt it and discovered that within the DH community they love showing pictures of children they take care of - sometimes it's a competition to see whose "child" (and they do call the kids their child), but mostly it's bragging rights esp if the kid is pretty/handsome, smart or well-mannered. With other things as well, if your DH is doing sthg you are uncomfortable with, talk to her and find out more abt it. After talking to mine I saw things from her point of view and realise that sometimes it's so easy to make up rules without having any regards for your employee.
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well,yeah,still dont like the idea of my hidden pictures somewhere in her bags.but she is a hard worker,no complaints so far,have 3 children of her own,still she should have asked.
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