Please give me your thought!!!

As I posted just before. Now our DH eats the same food as we do. Because I thought that it would be more efficient in terms of time. She doesn't have to cook separately. In addition, it could make a good relationship between us and DH.


What happens is; we have shared food with DH for over 1year. We buy organic or high quality food & Drink for 3 kids. They do not eat much.


However, DH eats and drink a lot. Food disapper very quickly although we don't eat and drink a lot.


Does anyone suggest what should be the best way for Food with DH? Sharing food or providing food allowance? Or anr good rules for Food?


Please advise me.

I understand your situation very well. However, I'd feel very uncomfortable to tell her to stop eating my food after a year. If I didn't have a choice, I'd tell her that after revising food costs I want to cut them for the whole family (not just for her) and I'd feel more comfortable if she planned her own meals. When she needs to cook for the kids I'd specify how many pieces of, say, fish she needs to give to every child and how many bowls of salad, etc..


My observation is that some DHs think that ALL the employers are very rich and don't count the money. My DH was very surprised when I told her that WE pay for the electricity. She thought my husband's work pays.

Thank you for your advise, Nuri. Yes, I agree with you totally that I also feel uncomfortable to tell her after over 1 year. But, I was pregnant last 10 months, and my brain didn't work properly. Recently I reviewed the food cost and was surprised.


I found that our DH offerred our sweet, coffee or tea to her friends without asking us, when her friends come to our home. Also it seems that she sometimes takes our RICE to her friends on sunday. I understand that she needs socialization, but I wonder if she has her own food budget as we do, she could do with more sensible way.


And, what I don't like is that; I buy good quality bread, fruit, juice, vesitable　and even sweet for kids, but kids don't eat much, but these are gone quickly. I feel that most are eaten by DH.


Everyday (Mon.-Fri.) I go food shopping and cook our own dinner including hers so far. I also want change this. She is our first DH and I was ignorant!


I would like to improve our cost and system with reasonable and efficent way. I do not want to be mean to our DH.


If you have any better thought our advise, please let me know.

Honestly, it's really hard to advise on this situation because it's been over a year already. I fell in the same trap with my first DH: she ate everything and wasn't reasonable. To the second DH I gave food allowance but it still didn't work! I gave her HK$500 and allowed to use our rice, bread, sauces, sugar, even coffee. She did NOT buy her own food and did NOT cook for herself. She used to say "Oh, I forgot to cook" or "Oh I had to send extra HK$500 home". So she was receiving food allowance but still ate our food because I was too soft and couldn't leave her hungry. I felt like a fool.


Now, with DH number 3 I do the following: I don't give her food allowance but I buy the food in Park&Shop for her: chicken, fish, rice, noodles, coffee, tea, soft drinks, milk, eggs, vegetables, cookies, chips and so on. I do it twice a week. I spend around HK$600 a month. She can use our cooking oil, sauces and other miscelaneous items. We share pizza take aways and cakes with her as well. It works the best.

It's a hard situation.


Maybe the biggest problem is that she is offering food to other helpers and using it to cook for others on her day off.


Could you tell her that she is not to do the above and the monitor how quickly the food is used? It could be she is giving more away than you realise....


My colleague's friend, had a situation where his food bill was going up and up even though he was travelling a lot. He went home one day unexpectedly and found that the maid had been running a 'take away' shop from his kitchen. she had used his food to cook and sell meals to other meals....

The food in your home is for the family. Your DH does not have the authority to take it our to feed her friends. I do not have my DH's friends coming over..its not allowed.

Talk to your Dh. Tell her to curb her food & activities & that food is not for anyone else, so it should not be taken out.

This is not about being mean to your DH ....it is about your DH following your terms & conditions.