the best employer

I agree, helenahk.


I was interested to see souffle queen's reply to mrsl's question as it was an interesting question. Can an employer be overly generous to the detriment of the relationship?


I think that the cornerstones to a successful DH relationship are certainty and respect.


It is possible that a generous employer can create uncertainty for the DH - eg the helper who has 11 weeks paid leave a year may think that she is expendible and therefore feels insecure in her job. Conversely, a helper who gets extra leave for extra work is more likely to feel that her work is important but appreciated.


I think that one of the reasons DH relations with local people are generally good is that both parties are very clear about the nature of their agreement. By and large, I think that most local employers stick close to the terms of the contract (which are by definition fair) and so both parties know what to expect. Once you go beyond these terms it can make the employment terms and duties vague and uncertain.


As to respect, i think it is possible that a DH could feel less valued if they feel that the employer is overly generous (the value of the gift is always determined by the recipient). i can see that a Dh who thinks that an employer is too generous could feel uncomfortable as a result. After all, she's being paid a salary for doing her job and, if her bonuses and extras exceed the salary, it diminishes the job satisfaction.


I think that most people like to feel that their jobs are a fair exchange of their skill and labour for monetary compensation. It gives us a sense of dignity.


Before I am howled down, I want to emphasise that I'm not being critical of mrsl who appears to be a good and kind employer. Nor do I think that people should not pay above the basis wage or buy gifts and give bonuses to their DHs if they wish. These extras will be different in each case, depending on the circumstances.


My point is that an employer's generosity is judged by the receipient and if, that person thinks it is excessive, it can work to the detriment of the relationship by creating uncertainty and lack of job satisfaction.

Fair point mborderform. Just as background, wen we offered the job, the deal was that we would give 2 flights and 4 weeks leave a year(at times to suit us - when we are on holiday). I feel that this is fair, as her children are relatively young, and she'd miss out on too much of their lives by being away for 2 years at a time. This year, due to her mother's death (yes, I got a death cert.)and her child's ill health she spent considerably more time in the Phils. We paid for the flights, not becuase we are 'made of money' but because she is certainly not, and last minute fares are not cheap - we figured that the last thing that she needed at such stressful times was additional financial pressure.


The expendibility point is also valid - she is. Most DHs in HK are expendible in reality (in the case in which only one parent works); no matter what we tell ourselves, we can and have all survived without them, and will do again. I stay at home with the children and she does the housework. The point is that we were crystal clear about that when we offered her the job. I wanted her to be under no illusions that she was not being employed as a nanny. We were equally clear that by her taking on the housework, she was making a valuable contribution to our family life by allowing my husband and I to spend quality time with our children. That has not changed.


I will give her 2 flights again next year, because that was the verbal agreement that we reached before employing her. I have learned from my mistakes, however, that everything else will be at her own expense.

im a tourist here in hongkong and im looking for a female employer widow or single im hardworking and trustworthy, i know how to do all the household tasks.

i know how to cook. im here at the carribean coast living here at my brothers uni anybody looking for a stay out helper im willing to apply. no need to give any transpo allowance and board and lodging...so it i s my advantage to some other helper. im looking for a employer who also live here in carribean coast.