Forums Hong Kong Domestic Help Advice

DH wants to get married

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ORIGINAL POST
Posted by aemom 18 yrs ago
If your contract is the same as mine with my DH, then it says one week's holiday after one year of service. Why does your DH think that she can take 3 weeks after only 6 months' work? Is it something you agreed upon at the signing of the contract? If not, (this will also sound heartless to some people) then tell her to arrange her wedding at another time.


To put it in perspective: can anyone take 3 weeks off (to get married or for any other reason) in the middle of a work term without previous permission and agreement of their employer? I'm a teacher and I could NEVER do that!


You hired her to look after your dog because you didn't want to put it in a pet shop. Tell her if she cannot accept the terms of her employment with you, she is welcome to find employment elsewhere - and then find yourself another DH.


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COMMENTS
Ed 18 yrs ago
A couple of suggestions and comments...


When hiring a maid I think people have to understand that a maid is an employee. They have rights just like any other employee. Hindsight is 20 20 however when hiring female employees there is the chance they will want to have kids... so if this is a major concern perhaps its better to hire an employee who already has a family... You cant blame the employee for wanting kids - if anything its the employers fault for overlooking this possibility when hiring.


Having a full time maid - just like having any employee - is not hassle free. My suggestion is that people also consider the alternatives of hiring legal part time helpers... it might cost a bit more per hour however you are not locked into a long term contract.... Read More

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kieefer 18 yrs ago
There are two scenarios.


1. Let the helper go - It's very likely that she'll get pregnant because she never discussed with you before or right after she was hired that she plans to have a wedding in a few months. So the chances of giving you more "surprises" are very high. And it seems that she never discuss with you whether she should take 10 days/2 weeks off iso 3 weeks. She just wants to have it her way. Besides, it's far easier to terminate the contract now than when she's pregnant. It's just too risky.


2. Keep the helper - If you feel you really can trust the helper, you should tell her that you do not want anymore "surprises" and that she should promise not to get pregnant, take anymore holidays within this contract period.


The bottom line - it's too risky to keep the helper considering the fact that she neglected to inform you such important issue before signing the contract. She simply takes it for granted that you'll comply. More could be on the way.

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evildeeds 18 yrs ago
Again a reply not based on realism. You can't make a helper "promise" not to get pregnant in the same way as I cannot tell any of my female staff they cannot get pregnant. As Ed mentioned above they are employees and should be treated as such. Forget all this in my house stuff, they are employees plain and simple.


Unfortunately many people are not actually good employers and have no idea how the relationship should work. As with all employees you set the ground rules when they join. If you do not then you cannot actually blame the employees when this are not right.

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mrsl 18 yrs ago
She should, out of courtesy have told you that she was getting married before you employed her, not least for her own reasons as you are not obliged to give her any time off, never mind 3 weeks. Presenting you with a fait accompli at this stage is inconsiderate and short-sighted on her part. I changed jobs a few months before I got married and made ir crystal clear that I needed over 3 weeks off soon after I started. Most employers (in the interests of establishing goodwill and on the assumption that this is a one-off) will give more holiday than they are contractually obliged to give in these circumstances.


On the family front though - she's 31, did it not cross your mind that this might arise? She has no obligation to run this by you. It is inconvenient for every employer when female employees need maternity leave, but speaking personally, I am glad that there are laws preventing blatant discrimination because of this 'issue'. I realise that the situation is different for a small employer/household than a large investment bank or whatever, but although the logistics are inconvenient for you, the situation is not impossible to deal with.

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cd 18 yrs ago
She is offically entitled to 1 weeks paid leave after 1 year of service. However you can give her as much leave as you want paid or unpaid.

Its definately wrong that she is telling you she is going rather than asking and coming to an agreement. Why don't you tell her you will give her the leave unpaid, and use the money you save to pay for boarding for your dog.

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BloodDiamond 18 yrs ago
It's too bad she did not feel she could ask or tell you sooner and what's worse is that that you are upset about putting a dog in a kennel while a woman get's married, supposedly the biggest day in a woman's life, geez. It is your decision though and you are the employer, so you need to do what's best for you and your dog!

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Sapphire 18 yrs ago
Well, like cd has said, she is officially entitled to 1 weeks paid leave after 1 year of service. She has worked for her employer for about 6 months. This means she is not entitled to take the leave at this time. She should have known this herself (she signed the contract) and she should not have presumed that it was ok to arrange a wedding and to be away from work for 3 weeks without being entitled to take the time off, and without prior arrangement with her employer.


Employers take on domestic helpers for many different reasons ... some may have young children ... some may be single and work very long hours ... and some may have a dog which they do not wish to put into kennels when they go on holiday. Whatever the reasons may be, I'm sure they are all as equally important to the employer, and that being the case, any employee, regardless of profession, should not automatically expect to take 3 weeks off work at short notice ... and certainly not when they are not entitled to it. Anyone with an ounce of common sense, wanting to arrange a wedding, and knowingly not be entitled to any leave at that time, would discuss it with their employer beforehand ... or arrange it at a time when they are entitled to the leave ... after 1 year of employment. If the wedding was arranged prior to her taking on the employment, then she should have made the employer aware of this at the time and maybe the employer would have chosen another helper who would not have to inconvenience her a few months into the contract.



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hkwatcher 18 yrs ago
My 2 cents into this conversation is do not lend her any extra money. Her extra days will be unpaid days according to the contract. If you gave her the ticket already that is enough and already under the law in terms of you contract, you have to give them a one way ticket home at the end of a contract anyway.

I hope she is being completely honest with you and will come back at the time agreed. I would also suggest that she take a home pregnancy test before she comes back to HK because if she gets PG whilst on her honeymoon and comes back to HK PG, then you cannot legally fire her!

You must decide yourself if you are okay with her and a baby.

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evildeeds 18 yrs ago
Actually even if she was in Philippines and found out she was pregnant you still can't fire her, doesn't matter where she is in the world if she is under your employment! She has no legal requirement to inform you anyway.

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applebubble 18 yrs ago
you cant fire her if she's away on a "holiday".. if you do she will be within legal rights to sue you as well... even if she is not entitled to the holiday, you as the employer knows she went... as i understand it, she asked you for it, right? and you had agreed to let her go home? if thats the case you cant fire her while she's there.. best thing to dois wait for her to come back and fire her...

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Starbucks2 18 yrs ago
neversaynever - out of interest, what ended up happening with your helper?

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