too generous? too dangerous?

We have sponsored our Philipina helper for 2 years. Originally she worked part time for us, lived out and we paid her by the hour. However, this is not legal. When we moved, we insisted she lived in and we paid her full time salary, which is $3500 month. Last December, she took one month leave and we paid her passage and salary.

We also allowed her to continue with some of her part-time as long as she completed her work with us.(2 adults, no children, 2 dogs)Her contract is due to finish in July.

We think we have been too accommodating. She has been working 1 full day a week for us, and doing part time every day the rest of the week, doubling her income and involving extensive travel.

Obviously trying to claw back some of the freedoms we have given her does not make her happy. She claims that some helpers get paid $5 - 6000 per month as live-in full time.

What is fair? What is right? We need to get terms and conditions right for a new sponsorship / contract. She is a good worker,pleasant and trustworthy and never missed a day. However, we have been paying her as a full-time for only part time work and allowing her to double her salary by freelancing as part time elsewhere. Any feedback would be welcome - how many employers are willing to sponsor DH for part-time? Are we putting ourselves at too much risk? Should we insist on no part time at all? She has worked in HK for 13+ years, so she knows the ropes.

Yes, there are helpers out there earning upto $6000. I have interviewed 2 of them. They have both worked with the same employers for over 10 years (in one case 14 years), so were obviously being rewarded for hard work and long service. Both were solely responsible for virtually raising their employers' children while there was no parent and home. They also seemed to organise a lot of fairly high end entertaining in their bosses homes. Both were used to working 14 hour days. It does not sound as if your helper is in the same situation.

That said, I must have interviewed 30 helpers, the majority were at, or close to mimimum wage, and some of them had similar responsibilities to their highly paid counterparts.


I would guess that $3500-$4000 is fair for what you expect. It's a tough one because it sounds as if she is very good and you do not want to lose her, but you are taking a risk. If she demands to be compensated for losing her part time jobs, you are going to have to shell out a lot more cash. She would be on a pretty good deal, only you can say whether she is worth it. I was happy to pay upto $6K for the right person, who would make my life materially easier, but I require a lot more than you do.

Our helper gets 5000 plus food and levy paid but she has 20 years experience here, hotel management/catering skills, pleasant, excellent english, self starter and honest as the day is long and has worked usually 6 year contracts for each family she has been with and released only beacause they are moving on. She occassionally does part time because all three kids and adults are out of the house all day and she is uber efficient (up at 6:00 and house all spic and span by 9:00) HOWEVER, she only works for people we know and only when it isn't likely to be reported, and only when it won't inconvenience us - eg not a specified day each week but more like when a helper is away or sick or helping out at big parties / moving house or something. She is extremely good at checking and rechecking all the details of any outside commitement (even when it has been arranged by me as a favour for a friend) just to make sure our family plans have not changed and she always still has everything sorted at our place. The people she goes to help also know her role with us comes first. I think your helper needs to accept that another employer could pay her minimum wage, expect much longer hours at the primary residence and not allow any part time work - which is all legal and reasonable. The reason I allow our helper to do part time is because othewise she would be stuck sitting at home twiddling her thumbs and she is a very hyperactive person (and does not go to church, read or do crafts)She says she feels sick if she lays down during the day... so being busy and around people and feeling needed and appreciated is her thing and the extra money is of course welcome.

i agree with your thread title. you are too generous and you are putting yourself in a very dangerous position because it's illegal. is it really worth it to risk it for her? think about it.

i think your helper has felt the riches of being treated to nicely and it will be hard to draw the line now and make her conform to stricter rules. totally agree with kkh that perhaps it is time to find someone new and get yourself out of this sticky situation. it's not unlikely that your helper will have bragged to her friends about her fantastic situation so you probably want to cut these ties and start fresh legally.

when you are too generous or give too much, the domestic helper will expect more. When you do not give equally more ,reduces some allowances or rules, they will not be happy. Some will also turn their back on you especially the experience domestic helper who works for very long time in HK.

You are in a tricky position. Could you afford to pay more? Of course she would then need to do more work, so is there any way you could justify the extra expense. For example - I'm just thinking off the top off my head here - do you go out to eat a lot? Perhaps you could cut back there, but get her to do some extra cooking for you - that way you could still eat something different that perhaps takes longer to prepare, but offset the extra salary against the cost of going out, paying restaurant wine prices etc. Is there more work that she could do that you would not normally expect her to do, but would pay someone else to do? Clothing repairs? Packed lunches? Really you need to see if you can justify paying her more, and if not, I think you need to rethink her employment terms. You can't really suddenly say no to any part-time if you've been allowing her to do this for so long, I don't think, but you could give her the option of gradually reducing the hours she spends working for other people, or alternatively you may have to think about hiring someone else. Remember if there really isn't that much work for her to do in your home, you might be better off hiring an hourly cleaner.

also..again isn;'t it illegal for her to work like this...and also for you to know it...and you know you are responsible at the end for all what she does outside..i understand there should be trust and all..but law doesn't care..if she gets in any trouble....you are in trouble...i think if she is only working a day..let her go...get a new helper or parttime helper again..there is no point...but ...youknow best

Is it really that dangerous to let he work part-time ? If immigration shows up can't you play dumb and say that if there was no work you gave her afternoons to go shopping and see her friends and you had no idea she was working elsewhere ? A lot of DHs do part-times on Sundays without their employers knowledge.

OK, but apart from the risk of being caught by Immigration, there's another disadvantage of letting one's DH do part-times.


If you let her break this law, she might think it's okay with you if she breaks other laws / rules. One day she might do something really unacceptable to you.


That's why I myself do everything by the book with my DH. I don't want any confusion / misunderstanding.

thanks everyone for all your sound advice! I think the situation has been resolved - we have insisted that she does not work part time, have given her a slight increase, and have come to some arrangement with a friend whom we can trust. She will now be getting over $6000 a month with no rent. The danger lies in when we don't know her whereabouts / hours / whom she was working for. Now we do. The friend will pay us and we will pay her, so technically she is not working for anyone else.