Posted by
mum2004
18 yrs ago
I want to give a warning to my helper as she did some serious mistakes for the 1st time.
I guess I have to write a letter explaining the mistakes and writing it's a warning, right ?
Does she have to sign it ?
And if she refuses to sign it what can I do ?
What do I do with this paper ? Is it just as a record for us ?
Thanks for your help
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After 3 warning letters you can fire her without paying her 1 month in lieu. To do so you need to write a letter stating what she did wrong. She needs to sign it. You fax it to the agency.
Pros: after first warning letter your helper might do her best because she’d be afraid to loose job.
Cons:
-no matter what she did, she might go to the Court and say that you were unfair when fired her. Also, she might say that you forced her to sign the letters by threatening. You’ll have the hassle of dealing with it.
-if she does something wrong after second warning letter, she might be too scared that you’d fire her. Then she might do something awful. People do all sorts of things when under stress.
If I were you, I’d try one letter. If she doesn’t change, fire her. Don’t be greedy and pay her 1 month salary in lieu.
Anyway, what did she do?
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Hello, thanks for your reply.
I didn't go through an agency, so should I send it directly to the Immigration ?
I want to give her a warning to make her understand that what she did is serious (security issues with my child) and that I won't accept it again.
Also, when I told her I wasn't happy, she told me I could fire her and she started to sulk and be in a very bad mood (she went back in her room while I was still talking to her and closed her door). I hate this blackmailing attitude and I can't tolerate this (this is unfortunately not the 1st time she behaves like this).
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Oh, by the way, she doesn't seem scared to loose her job at all !!!! She's so arrogant !
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ShazP
18 yrs ago
If you are giving her a warning letter, get her to sign it. If she refuses, send it to her by registered post, at your address heading her name. She cannot deny a registered post, get her to sign the receipt when it arrives.
Its best to let her go if you are not happy with her. Your warning letters will protect you if she takes you to court.
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mum2004,
My situation was similar. With a difference that she'd just say "Sorry, maaam", but be careless with my child again and again in different situations.
You see, some DHs think that they are irreplaceable. At least, mine might think that if my husband and I work full-time, we are dependant on her to take care of our child. Big mistake, because our new helper is soon to arrive while this one is to be fired very soon.
So, yours might think that you can not fire her because you need her. Hence her attitude. Don't tolerate it, and fire her.
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@@
18 yrs ago
This woman sounds like my first helper, in attitude at least. Fire her, she has shown you absolutely no respect - just walking off to her room while you are talking????
I have had two brilliant helpers since my first disaster and have to say once you find a good helper your life will be so much better. Good Luck.
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Hi,
Thanks for all your responses.
I had a talk with her and I told her I can't accept this kind of arrogant behaviour when I tell her I'm not happy about something. She said she was sorry but it was just too much for her... I told her that if she's not happy she can leave and that it would be the last time that I would accept this behaviour.
I guess I'll wait and see now.
But for sure, I have understood a lot, the first thing is that I'm way too nice and generous, so this is going to change for sure.
I also believe that helpers who have always worked for expats family are really not the best. If I had to change, I would not take one of these girls, their mind is completly spoilt.
Thanks again
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Miss P, thanks for the lesson. That's really what I needed to hear and it will definitively help me to be a better person :-D
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ShazP
18 yrs ago
Totally agree with you mum2004...I would never hire a DH who has worked with an expat family before. Funny thing is...we are expats!!
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Perhaps not hire one who worked for an expat family who were on a very large salary package including a generous DH budget.
But if a DH had been employed by expats who were decent people but were paying out of their own pocket, ten that would be a differnt story - she wouldn't be over-spoilt.
Locals (not always but often ) tend to run their DH much harder, and insist on things expats would have never heard of, such as ironing both the inside and outside of sir's shirts, and both sides of the sheets. Also, locals tend to have much more demanding meal routines. So if you get a DH who has been locally conditioned then you probably in the safest position if you aren't so fussy about both sides of shirts and the cuisine, for example.
You get lazy, moody, and whingey professional people and DH, and hard working and dilligent professionals and DH - all are individual people, can't change that.
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