DH doing other people's laundry?

I've discovered that our DH is doing her brother's laundry; he lives in HK but doesn't want to get his clothes washed at his place of employment since he doesn't like the help there handling his clothes. What?


Ok, anyone have any thoughts on this? I think it's wrong to do this on our time and with our resources if it's an ongoing thing. But I'd like to hear from those with experience with this.


I'm thinking if he doesn't like the help at his place, he can do his clothes himself.

:) Wow, Miss P, some implications you make in your post...very judgemental and meanwhile I posed only a question...and somehow you've determined that I'm small-minded, a person who does nothing all day, and that I don't volunteer my time. All wrong. Meanwhile, I'm nothing of the sort; in fact I see you're very active on Asia Xpat, much more so than I have ever been.


Back to the topic, jbebeb and mrs. miggins have hit the nail on the head...it is about respect --- ask us if we mind, etc. No body is treating our DH like subhuman matter, etc.; she is very well-cared for here. That being said, because we have a good relationship, ask us. If your brother is 'stuck' and needs you here and there, fine, ask us, and yes, do it on your own time and *offer* to bring in the detergent. As it turns out, her brother does not like to mix his stuff with the help at his place of employment because the help there is of another nationality (not his).....so, Miss P, who's small-minded now?


Regardless of whose laundry it is, we're not here to outlay the resources for someone else's work to be done....that's time, money, and even soap. Ask if you need it here and there.


And on top of it, be careful whose laundry you bring into the house. Clothing can and does carry things...like ringworm; in the instance of the latter, you need to literally boil the hell out of the clothing to kill the ringworm; no boiling and the fungus spreads to all the other clothes and people. No, I'd rather not have our laundry including my children's mixing with people's that I do not know.


My helper can do the laundry occasionally if she needs it and if she does it on her own time and separately. Brother can supply the detergent. He's got help and facilities where he is; if he chooses not to use them, he can't simply assume someone will take on his load...pun intended.

I concurred with Mrs. Miggins and TC. Not only had the DH contravened the conditions stipulated by the Immigration Department; technically she might have committed the offence of theft.

tsk tsk....


Immature people often elevate matters to a personal level.

Green, are you seriously claiming you have never made a personal phone call or checked personal e-mails during company time? If so, I believe you are unique.


I also think there's a difference between the helper using your home computer without asking (a machine she does not usually use) and her using the washing machine without asking - an appliance she is familiar with. RiceT is not, I think, complaining because the helper damaged the washing machine, but because the helper is using the washing machine for personal items during "working hours".


RiceT - is your helper neglecting her duties because she's busy washing her brother's clothes? If she is, then pull her up on it. If she isn't, does it really matter in the wider scheme of things?


What are her working hours incidently?

Hi Nora - Yes, big electricity bill since she joined us...another concern...and it is from the constant washing and drying; she joined us later in the summer so we already knew what our air con added to the bills. As for your last sentence and thought, I'm getting the feeling that our helper thinks that too. This is her first job with a 'Western' family after 8 years with Chinese families.


Bumpy - Our helper has a good deal of 'free' time at the moment and thus she does get things done, but part of her job is pet care and this means spending time with our pet if we're running around with the babies, etc. So it's not ok for her to use that time during the working hours to tend to her brother's or anyone else's stuff. She works from about 8:30 - 6pm and will prepare simple dinners after that on some days. We're all very flexible here so we play it by ear around this timeframe. Works well as she really is great; we'll just need to commuicate more on some points as they come up to make sure we're on the same page.

RiceT - are you saying she can't look after a pet whilst the washing machine is running? or it is the few minutes that it takes to fill and empty the washing machine that you object to?


Perhaps you should just tell to wash the clothes in the evening - although that may be noisy for you and your neighbours.


green, I suppose you and I just have a different outlook on life. Yes, she is washing clothes during working hours perhaps using the employer's soap and electricity. Your reaction is "she is stealing, that's terrible". Mine is "big deal as long as she does my washing on time".


My employer treats me with a fair amount of latitude trusting me to get the job done and not watching over my every move or getting uptight over little things. I appreciate this and would aim to treat anybody I employ in the same way.

Bumpy - I can't tell whether you are really curious about the things you're asking or just breaking shoes. I'll assume the former and answer your query... Yep, it is possible to look after (spend time with) a pet while the machine is on---but not while ironing...and for hours at a time.


Anyway, the long and short of it is, we won't have other people's laundry being done here; there's no need for it. As someone said above, no one's living on the street here and thus even bro has access to laundry facilities and help at his place of employment.

Charge him for the laundry by load like the laundromat plus your helpers time. Just deduct from your maid's salary & ask her to get it from him. Is not you cannot afford it but why do you need to let someone take advantage of you. Anyway, Why don't she ask.

Miss P, can I bring my laundry to your house? Your maid can do it for me in her spare time.

: )

Dear RiceT,

why don't you just tell her that you don't want her to do this at your place during her working hours?

At the end of the day it's your house and you are the employer, you are the one who give directions for running your household.

I would tell her that her brother can give her his clothes already wash and she can iron it on har day off.

Thanks, July. We're all set now. No laundry here for anyone outside the apartment.